I am waging a war on the people who break into my house and eat all my damn ice cream.

[russspeakeasy]

It makes as much sense as a war on voter fraud.

[longship]

1. The Democrats broke in and stole my Velveeta

Now what am I gonna do with all these Doritos?

[lapislzi]

2. Russ, those are your children.

You gave them the key, remember?

The case for having a bar fridge in one's bedroom

[russspeakeasy]

3. I'm installing it as we speak..

[pinboy3niner]

8. The plot of a recent sitcom episode...

...involved a bunch of small appliances going missing from a home after a daughter had her boyfriend over for a "conjugal visit."

The mother said she really was going to miss the margarita maker...and her bedside table looked so empty without it.

[Kalidurga]

4. Um, this makes more sense...

we know ice cream exists. We know that there are people that break into houses. What we don't know is if and how much voter fraud exists. I imagine most are just quietly turned away at the polls. Unless their name is Ann Coulter of course.

[russspeakeasy]

6. Excellent point !!

[Bigmack]

5. OMG! I don't have

ice cream in MY refrig, so THEY take my car keys or my glasses Ms Bigmack

[russspeakeasy]

7. I know the feeling..Last week they locked my keys in the car !