WTF! Gorilla On The Loose In Aabama

[Are_grits_groceries]

Authorities in Alabama are officially on the hunt for at least one gorilla after reports that the animal was spotted near a store in rural Newbern. The local sheriff’s office said the town’s volunteer fire department and police have been searching for the gorilla since the sighting was first reported over the weekend.

Newbern is a town of approximately 220 people in Hale County, about 50 miles south of Tuscaloosa.

Authorities are not exactly sure how many gorillas they’re searching for.

One sighting was reportedly made by a child, while another individual reported seeing what may have been a bear. So far, the sightings have not been confirmed by home video or surveillance footage.

The closest zoo to Newbern is located about 100 miles away in Birmingham, Alabama. Officials at the Birmingham Zoo said today that zoo’s only gorilla, 16-year-old Cenzoo, is present and accounted for.

Let’s hope this isn’t a case of someone monkeying around in a gorilla suit because authorities have been instructed to shoot first and ask questions later (although, why would you ask a gorilla any questions?).
Read more at http://www.blippitt.com/breaking-gorilla-on-the-loose-in-alabama/#sO0HKU78ht2zDlzH.99

We have The Lizard Man loose in my neck of the woods.

[Syrinx]

1. I first heard about this Sunday night

The night before, I watched "Harry's Law" about a woman who found a gorilla on her property. I'm not sure if it's connected, but...

[Are_grits_groceries]

2. Well, if the people who reported it

were drinking 'shine, they might have seen a lot of things. We used to drink it in college, and I am still recovering.

[Syrinx]

4. The only time I ever drank moonshine was with some black friends in high school

They called it "Joe Louis," because it would knock you out.

[Are_grits_groceries]

6. Never heard that,

but it's a good nickname. You will get knee walking drunk.

[Aerows]

12. Or hands and knees crawling drunk

Or just plain passed out on the nearest surface, flat or otherwise.

[thelordofhell]

3. I hoid it done punch dat Bobby Boucher in da eye!!

[Ichingcarpenter]

5. The IQ of the Alabama legislature

has now increased now 10 fold.

[LetTimmySmoke]

7. Seamus the dog reincarnated as a gorilla and wants revenge.

[CherokeeWarrior]

8. sancutary

maybe its from a sanctuary or something .. Trying to find one on google.

[tanyev]

9. He's just looking for his polling place.

[Motown_Johnny]

10. sounds like an episode of "Harry's Law"

except that was Ohio

[TheCowsCameHome]

11. Newt Gingrich campaigning in a fur coat.

[hobbit709]

13. beat me to it.

[lastlib]

14. You take that back! That's an insult to gorillas!!

I'll have you know that they are kind, gentle, loving creatures of high intelligence and morals--they have NOTHING IN COMMON with Gingrich, just because he looks like one!

[Mopar151]

15. Like seeing Bigfoot in Vermont

Just tryin' to get home from last week's keg party.

[csziggy]

16. I bet the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization is there before nightfall!

Though they don't have any reports of bigfoots (their plural) in Hale County, yet.
http://www.bfro.net/GDB/state_listing.asp?state=al

[stuntcat]

17. some guy'll get a charge out of gunning him down

every time this kinda stuff happens it ends the same.