Rachel Maddow on Being Outed by Her College Newspaper

[Are_grits_groceries]

I was a college freshman, and I had just figured out that I was gay. I was heady with the self-importance of a 17-year-old who knows everything and is smarter than everybody—a trait that is great at the moment and really hard to live with in retrospect. I decided I was going to come out of the closet in a very confrontational way. I went to Stanford University, and there was nobody else “out” in my freshman class of more than 1,000 people—which I thought was kind of crazy. So a friend who was coming out at the same time and I did an interview with the student newspaper about being the only two gay freshmen on campus. The mistake I made was that I had not come out to my parents. I told the paper, “I will do this on the condition that you will not run the piece until after this weekend, because I will go home this weekend to tell my parents, and I want them to hear it from me instead of reading it in the paper.” And they ran it before the weekend, and indeed some anonymous person helpfully clipped the article and mailed it to my parents—and that’s how my parents found out that I was gay.

They would have had a hard time with me coming out anyway, but this was a particularly nasty way for them to find out. They’re wonderful now, and couldn’t be more supportive, but they took it poorly at first, which I don’t fault them for. They were shocked and upset and hurt. First of all, they were having to deal with the fact that I’m gay. Second of all, they were having to deal with the fact that I’m gay in the newspaper. And third of all, they were having to deal with the fact that they’ve raised some sort of horrific, callous rug rat who would tell the student paper before telling her family.

It took a while for them to get over it. My family’s very, very Catholic, so that was part of the initial upset. But I actually think that having a really strong faith is part of the reason they got over it—despite Catholic teaching being very antigay. Having a faith tradition was helpful for them and gave them the strength to get over this difficult thing.

I learned that making myself dependent on somebody else’s competence and honor was a failure on my part—and that something that was important I could take care of myself. More than 20 years later, I look back and I feel emotional about it. I feel acutely angry at myself for having put myself in that position.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/03/11/rachel-maddow-on-being-outed-by-her-college-newspaper.html

Rachel doesn't show anger much. This really pissed her off.

I think one of the reasons she is so effective on her show is that she is so even-keeled. She makes the haters and ranters look really bad when people compare them to her.

[exboyfil]

1. I view her as the best commentator on television

I think she always thinks before she talks, and she is very smart and funny. Note to folks like Chris Matthews, Ed Schultz, and Keith Olbermann - you can learn a great deal from her.

Heck even Cal Thomas likes her.

I would like to see her in a serious well constructed debate with someone like Hannity. She would mop the floor with him.

[immoderate]

2. Hard to imagine Hannity in any serious intellectual exchange.

He doesn't have the horsepower.

--imm

[bullwinkle428]

3. Hannity does NOTHING more than dictate talking points. Truly the biggest lightweight

in a cast of feathers...

[Proud Liberal Dem]

8. Having listened to him

It is fiendishly clever how he aggressively twists, distorts, and shapes everything into making Republicans look good and Democrats/progressives/liberals look bad not to mention basically hogs the mike and won't stop bludgeoning his opponent(s) long enough to allow them to respond. There would be nothing even remotely approaching a "fair" debate with them though, I agree, that in a "fair" and even-handed debate between Maddow and Hannity, well.........there'd be no contest IMHO.

[Skittles]

19. there is nothing clever about it

this tactic only appeals to very stupid people

[Proud Liberal Dem]

22. "this tactic only appeals to very stupid people"

Yes. Like Fox News viewers- which is probably the only way he is able to maintain his "popularity". Hannity will (probably) never have to face a real debate with anybody. He would certainly never be able to hold his ground in a one-on-one debate with President Obama.

[Skittles]

27. it's propaganda and it's not even GOOD propaganda

it kills me how many people fall for it - I know people with Masters degrees who will forward to me bullshit emails about Obama that would take 10 seconds of research on the Web to disprove.........why? Because they WANT to believe it. It is scary.

[mackattack]

29. EXACTLY

Larry Craig got busted in the airport bathroom. Because the right-wing establishment has so demonized same sex relationships, Sen Craig (and other in-the-closet folks) are forced to meet secretly and use special codes in order to have the relationship they need. It is because of discrimination that you have the underground sub-culture.

Thats not what Hannity said. Here is exactly how he spun it: The liberals and homosexual agenda are so powerful in this country that homosexuals now think they can have sex anywhere and anytime. They believe this is their right and if you are against it, then you are a bigot. This is why they do it in buys places like bathrooms. Its all about the liberal agenda to destroy conservative American family values.

[KamaAina]

10. She'd be fighting a battle of wits

with an unarmed opponent.

[qazplm]

15. she'd lose to Hannity (or it would be a wash), why?

You can't effectively debate someone who isn't actually interested in having an educated, honest debate with you.

He'd lie, exaggerate, move goalposts, get personal, there would be no solid ground on which to have an extended discussion by which a neutral person could tell who's right and who's wrong.

Sure, folks with a functioning brain would say, that boy crazy, and she's really smart, but for the mindless middle, it wouldn't be nearly as effective. It's why Gore "lost" the debates to Bush.

[okieinpain]

32. agree 100%. when the zombies attack. I want to hang out with you.

[CTyankee]

4. This makes me feel awful for Rachel. I can tell she went thru a lot of agony when her parents

found out before she told them she was gay. What a terrible burden of guilt she must carry with her. She strikes me as a very caring person, and this misstep must just be emotionally devastating. You can never go back and press an "undo" button in life and that's a shame...

[marlakay]

12. Sounds like she learned one of those tough

Life lessons you learn while young and not thinking things through. Which is another reason she thinks things out so well now.

[Pisces]

5. I absolutely adore Rachel. I think she is the best MSNBC has right now.

[GeorgeGist]

6. Amazing how fast ...

mail can travel when you don't want it to.

[madokie]

7. I see her as a wonderful human being and I'm proud to have lived

during some of the same time as she. I'm quite a bit older so I was here first and I hope she is here last. She is good for my country where as I'm just a madokie who really isn't mad just needed a moniker

[Arugula Latte]

9. She needs to give herself a break.

She was 17 and she trusted the paper to keep its word.

[whathehell]

17. Exactly......Who isn't naive at 17?

The average teenager has very little experience in life and often makes bigger mistakes than hers.

[catrose]

20. I trusted the paper to keep its word when I was 40

Silly me. I doing PR for a 12-step group and professionally put my name and phone number at the top of the release. But the release didn't contain my name, and when I spoke to a reporter, I asked her not to use my full name because it's, you know, an ANONYMOUS program. Sure, she says. "Catrose Rosedotter sez the program is anonymous..."

Thought I would die. At a minimum never put my name on anything again if I didn't want to see it in blinking lights. I'm sure Rachel thought those folks at the school paper were her friends.

Yeah, still mad. I understand.

[abolugi]

11. When my brother

came out he sat my parents down and said
" Mom and Dad... I have something to tell you.... I'm gay"
And my Dad said with all seriousness "Oh, Thank God!!! I thought you were going to tell me you were a Republican!!"




P.S. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Rachel!!!!

[arikara]

13. 30 years ago I was the first one in our family that my aunt officially came out to

...we were good friends as well as family. My response was "so what? I already figured that out anyhow." The look of relief on her face was priceless, and the rest of the family reacted pretty much the same way. People just shouldn't have to go through that kind of hell.

[klook]

25. DUZY nominee!

Hilarious -- I laughed out loud at your post more than anything in a week.

Rachel is a great American. I'm very happy that my lifespan crosses hers, and that she is in the position she's in. Her program is a must-watch in my household.

[calimary]

30. I try never to miss her show. We even record it for later viewing.

It's like going to some master class on politics and the human condition. She connects the dots better than ANYONE else on the air or on cable. Glad she's on our side!

[Robeysays]

14. wow. what a cool story. nt

[whathehell]

16. Rachel is nothing less than a national treasure...Beyond brains she has poise, grace

and a remarkably even temperment.

"I think one of the reasons she is so effective on her show is that she is so even-keeled"

EXACTLY. Her composure is awesome and I cannot imagine anyone but the meanest of wingnuts

disliking her -- She's the BEST

[ibegurpard]

18. LOL...I thought this headline said she was BEING outed by her college newspaper

I was going to say that they were a bit late...

[USArmyParatrooper]

21. She was a college freshman at 17?

That's not surprising.

[MgtPA]

26. Being a 17 year old freshman isn't at all unusual if she attended Catholic elementary school

Most of the kids in my class started college at 17. You had to be 6 years old by February 1st of the following year to enter 1st grade. In public school, the cut-off date was September 1st.

[Major Hogwash]

28. Well, that doesn't help to explain it much. She must have jumped a grade.

Her birthday is April 1st.
I didn't know she was a Catholic, though.

[MgtPA]

31. I'm sure she was raised Catholic; in the article she says "My family’s very, very Catholic"

Rachel may very well have skipped a grade, I don't know. I used the February 1st cut-off as an example; that's the date at the Catholic school I went to, some schools are earlier and some later. My older brother started college at 16, but he skipped 2nd grade.

[The Traveler]

23. She's fantastic

She is brilliant, devoted to truth, determined to understand, and of impeccable character.

[GETPLANING]

24. Rachel's Amazing High School Commencement Address

[lunatica]

33. When it comes to Rachel Maddow and Michelle Obama

I always feel compelled to say that I love them. I mean it too. I love both those women as much as anyone can love someone they've never met. They're great role models, highly intelligent and so obviously caring and thoughtful that they're status as public figures actually makes this country a better place. They're among the assets of this country that make me proud to be an American.

I've always felt that way about MLK Jr. too, and a few others.