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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsGiant Fukushima Mutant Turtle Finally Captured By Japanese Military
?w=630Noto, Japan Japan had to call on US naval seal teams to help reel the the iron-shelled beast in. Weighing in at over 7 tons, the locals had taken to calling the newest Fukushima mutant クッパ大魔王, quite literally translating to The Great Demon King Koopa (Bowser) of modern lore. Some residents claimed at night its eyes would glow red as it emerged from the waters, usually hungry for small children or cattle, but its appetite knowing no true limit. Other residents say the great demon turtle could be heard wailing in the distance, bellowing out toward the heavens and speaking ancient Japanese, the words they say were a call toward the dark gods of ancient.
Truly, this may have been a beast of the apocalypse, as far as locals in the decimated town of Noto, Japan, are concerned.
When US special forces were finally called in, one soldier recalled, We watched the target gallop down a highway, running head first toward a brave semitruck driver determined to be heroic and knock the damned monster out with kamikaze tactics. Japanese officials frantically called him on his CB radio, telling him to turn around. I would say the turtle was running a good 20 miles per hour, it was insane! It was crazy.
The semi hit the giant turtle dead on and there was a huge explosion. The truck: decimated. The Fukushima turtle winced a bit in its eyes and then ran its tongue over its face, savoring the spent pieces of burnt metal and charred human flesh from the explosion. Suddenly, it made eye-contact toward where we were hiding and seemed to catch our scent. We evacuated by chopper and all our small arms fire did not put a dent in the beast, we may as well have been 6-year-old children throwing firecrackers.
Nuclear power is to blame for this beast. We must stop using nuclear energy and letting capitalist fatcats build these death traps all over the globe. Nuclear power is dangerous and too much destructive potential for humanity to hold. We need to use clean energy. We need to stop warfare military industrial complex that is destroying your life, your wallet and your future. If we want this world to survive, we must stop nuclear energy or we will get more stories like this one.
Unfortunately, the giant mutant attacked the town of Noto, Japan. It literally tore through dozens of houses, ate 3 grown tigers and several goats at the local zoo, leaving a brave injured bull elephant to die, and then tried to eat a butchers van that is used to haul meat. US naval seal teams eventually acquired large quantities of meat and laced them with sleeping agents, timed packets of C4 and arsenic cobalt. Airdropping all this food in proxy to the turtle proved a viable tactic, as the beast quickly ate all the food as planned.
After two hours (enough to let the sleeping agents kick in) the bombs were detonated and the turtle did not move, nor seem injured. Naval teams then quickly approached, bound the turtle and with Japanese military officials, bound the animal in reinforced steel and hauled it to the nearest secure government research facility. In transport, the Fukushima mutant actually awoke and started growling out: all the internal explosions did not damage it one bit.
http://topekasnews.com/giant-fukushima-mutant-turtle-finally-captured-japanese-military/
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Giant Fukushima Mutant Turtle Finally Captured By Japanese Military (Original Post)
Katashi_itto
Nov 2013
OP
Oh, those poor tigers and goats! Oh Oh Oh, the horror! and poor Port Falls, OR!!!
uppityperson
Nov 2013
#10
Buddha_of_Wisdom
(373 posts)1. You know it has been debunked?
Just checkin'....
Katashi_itto
(10,175 posts)2. Not True! This is all real.
See the picture?
Buddha_of_Wisdom
(373 posts)4. Heh.
Even I find that turtle with fangs very hard to believe.
Skidmore
(37,364 posts)3. Get back to me when they run into Godzilla.
zappaman
(20,606 posts)5. People will try to debunk this, but it is real.
here is a picture of it in flight...
petronius
(26,602 posts)15. I was going to call BS, but two pictures from different angles are obviously
convincing! Thank you for saving me from the embarrassment of misguided skepticism...
spanone
(135,844 posts)6. ninja?
alcibiades_mystery
(36,437 posts)7. Additional mutant turtles thought to be on the loose
MFM008
(19,816 posts)8. lol
GAMERA
longship
(40,416 posts)9. They're used to dealing with large reptilians.
uppityperson
(115,677 posts)10. Oh, those poor tigers and goats! Oh Oh Oh, the horror! and poor Port Falls, OR!!!
NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)11. History shows again and again how nature points out the folley of man
Go Go Godzilla
Katashi_itto
(10,175 posts)16. Blue Oyster Cult :)
cthulu2016
(10,960 posts)12. Poor Gamera. But why is this posted here?
Katashi_itto
(10,175 posts)13. Gamera is friend to children everywhere
Buns_of_Fire
(17,181 posts)18. Gamera is really neat! Gamera is full of meat! We're all eating Gamera!
-- MST3K (of course!)
frazzled
(18,402 posts)14. From "Gamera the Brave," a crappy sci-fi movie /nt
Dash87
(3,220 posts)17. Shredder is having the best day ever