my husband has had enough he's leaving me
I just lost my parents this year one My Dad March 13 My Mom July 13 I can't take anymore If it wasn't for the kids I would be able tog o on
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Is there anyone, a sibling or friend or coworker, you can call on and get support or commiserate? At the very least, we on DU will be thinking about you...
We're here for you...
And hug the kids. It can get better, I promise.
talk to someone who can help or just listen. Please don't give up - you're among friends here.
Even if the marriage wasn't working out, to leave someone at such a vulnerable time says a lot about this man. Very Newt-like (serve your wife divorce papers while she's receiving treatment for cancer.)
The thing to keep in mind during such difficult times is that THIS WILL PASS. Please don't forget that. One day you will look back at this hardship and be grateful for the happy life you and your children will be living 
Please take the advice given here and seek some help for yourself. No one should have to go through this alone.
You've suspected this was going to happen for a while now (based on this post - http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023653220).
You've gone through a lot this year (including the surgery). You've been turned down for SSDI. You've got 4 kids and no one to depend on except yourself.
If I read what is going on correctly, you are still dealing with the possibility of cancer, and overwhelming depression.
Take a deep breath.
Let's do this one step at a time.
Are you safe? Are you having thoughts of suicide? If so, we're going to stop right here, and you are going to need to call the Suicide Prevention Line.
The phone number is (800) 273-8255.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Reply to this message to let me know if this step is necessary. If it isn't necessary, we can go on to the next step.
But first, it is about you (and the kids) being safe.
But, I think when it comes to your husband leaving you, that's HIS loss.
I don't have any words of wisdom...only my opinion.
I hope things get better for you soon.
But understand that this too will pass. When my late husband was sick, I found the following quote by Winston Churchill, put it up over my computer, and looked at it everyday.
"When you're going through hell, just keep going."
DON'T give up, the sun will come up tomorrow, your children will be there, as will your friends. It's easy for me to say this, but basically all you've lost is a man willing to leave his wife (and children) at the lowest point in her life. So what have you lost?
Please don't trip over your own depression (or whatever), and get into counseling. There is always reason to go on...your kids are probably the biggest. Think of what would happen to them...if they're minors, they'll end up with your (probably soon to be) ex-husband. If they're not, they'll be haunted for the rest of their lives thinking they could have done something to help you. Turn to us here, we're always around 24/7, and willing to help. There are many, many people who have walked this path ahead of you.
And don't be afraid to mourn this loss...don't try to be all strong and tough. Let yourself feel what you're feeling. Personally, I found the "anger" portion of the mourning process to be VERY helpful...it really got out a lot of "stuff". If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like screaming, do it. If you feel like kicking something, put some empty boxes around the house. Your friends will understand, and nobody else matters. Keep us posted.
Losing family is a difficult experience for anyone. I can only imagine what it must be like to lose so many in such a short time. I hope that you are able to find help and a bit of solace during this time and that it is of at least some small comfort that people really do care and wish you well (even strangers on the internet).
Please do what you can to stay safe and sane, whether that's reaching out to friends and family, meditation, physical therapy, or psychological therapy.
Here's hoping the days ahead are brighter and better. 
help you through this. Have you been to the DU bereavement group? It can't take the place of counselor, but it can be a great place to connect with others who have suffered the loss of loved ones.
Things, honestly, can only get better.
Good luck, and stay connected to other people.
As others have suggested, take a deep breath. It sounds like you are overwhelmed by the whole situation. When I was quite young, and Clinton was president, someone asked him how he managed to handle so many problems at once (they were about to impeach him). His response was the best advice I had heard at that age, he said that he compartmentalized each problem. I have tried to do the same when life's problems overwhelm me and have found it to be useful.
In other words, don't look at the whole picture, but at one issue at the time in order of importance. What's the most salient issue? I know that you are not working, is your husband going to continue to support the household? You have 4 children, correct? I would look for an attorney to protect yourself and your children.
As for the emotional loss, it's hard and it probably feels like someone just punched you in the gut, right? But there's a lot of truth in the saying that it's better to be alone than in bad company. In another post you hinted that you thought that your husband was seeing another woman. Personally, I have found that some men can't cope with the stresses of life and bail out. Could that be the case with him?
Regardless, I hope that you have family and friends who can be there for you. Know that although we may be in different states, we are here for you too!!!
of the most wonderful, amazing, and rewarding part of your life.
That's what happened for me.
All I have are hugs, virtual hugs at that, but I hope you feel the love and support from me and others, tavalon.
Has Disability been approved for you and it's on its way? If you haven't been approved, if you've been turned down, I would suggest a lawyer. My husband, who has COPD and back and knee problems, was turned down twice, but hired an attorney and got approved. Granted the lawyers take 20% of what you get in that first check, but 80% of something is better than 100% of zero, and they don't collect until you do.(your pay is back dated to the day you applied so most people get a goodly check for the first one.) I'm sorry, but thumbs down to the man who's leaving his wife and children when they need him most. Hope things get better for you.
Glad you're here, Joel - and THANK YOU so much for that additional thread. Such a kind and compassionate and generous and much-needed gesture. Very loving and caring. And very Christ-like.
Dear rbrnmw - I am so sorry to hear what's happened to you. It's just not a bit fair! Yes, there are many here who remind that - this too shall pass. Well, they're correct. This too SHALL indeed pass. But we also understand that words are easy to say. And reality is awfully hard to slog through. All I can say is - your husband seems to have answered the perennial cartoon question - "are you a man or a mouse???" - to everyone's satisfaction. If he's going to leave at a time like this, when you're going through such difficulty on so many fronts, then he's actually taken out the trash for you, unbeknownst to him of course. Cliches, I know. And I'm sorry about that, too.
Just know that - as a bunch of us were pondering in another thread of condolence here, it's good that you shared this here. You need and deserve the support and affirmations and encouragement and sympathy and comfort - all those good things that hopefully will provide a little balm for your wounds. You're not alone. You're free to vent - let it out, throw it off your shoulders, get it off your back, yell and scream, and we'll listen and appreciate and sympathize. There's always someone here. And it just struck me that many, if not all, of those someones here even at odd hours have needed and availed themselves of this kind of community, in their own times of personal sadness or crisis. You're among friends here. DU will buoy you up.
in Jan and my husband in Sept and my job in May... I sure can appreciate the pain you are in
I wish there was something I could do or say that would make things easier right now. I am keeping you and your kids in my thoughts.
Three enormous losses in just seven months... like being punched over and over again on a bruise. I'm so sorry.
You feel like crap right now--just remind yourself compassionately that it's completely natural to feel like crap in this horrible situation, and there's no point in fighting that. It's also completely natural to feel better eventually... and you will. There've been times in your past, I'm guessing, when life kicked you in the butt, and you felt like crap and over time you felt a little less like crap and eventually you were back to being okay. This time it will take a while, because you've experienced not one but three utterly devastating losses, each of which would bring most people to their knees, but the future is going to be so much better than the present.
