SWAT team ends seven hour stand off with empty house

[Savannahmann]

http://www.ajc.com/news/news/local/swat-team-leaves-gwinnett-home-empty-handed/nbLgh/

A seven-hour SWAT standoff ended early Friday when Gwinnett police entered a home near Lawrenceville to find that the suspect wasn’t inside.

The Ottoman was questioned and then released without filing charges. The Coffee Maker was held for outstanding warrants.

[ZM90]

1. The title of this thread sounds like it's from The Onion.

[Savannahmann]

3. Atlanta Journal Consitution.

The major Newspaper for Atlanta. Seven hours the police tried to negotiate with an empty house, and then stormed it with SWAT officers, because nobody walked to the door or window and peeked inside.

[aikoaiko]

2. Did the neighbors' dogs survive?

[Agschmid]

4. Were they using these too?

[jsr]

5. Strong work

[hlthe2b]

6. Did they shoot it up?

or were they worried about the health and safety of the sofa (as opposed to actual living beings)?

[The Straight Story]

7. Were they trained by the cops who were looking for Dorner? (nt)

[Ikonoklast]

8. Due to the tense nature of the standoff, on of the SWAT entering the residence shot the refrigerator

ten times in self-defense.

"I saw it make a sudden move, like it was reaching for a weapon", says the unnamed officer, "You know how those Frigidaires are, I never trusted them one bit, sneaky bastards."


A tray of melting ice cubes was found on scene, no weapons were apparent but they are still searching.

[AnotherMcIntosh]

9. Rec

[Coyotl]

10. Just in case, WMD specialists are being called in from Iraq.

[Cal Carpenter]

11. I'm trusting you, DU, to make this thread hilarious

More appliance and furniture jokes, please. Puns. Sarcasm. Please. I need a laugh today.

[Savannahmann]

15. We could make plenty of jokes about this debacle

First, it is fortunate that no one appears to have been hurt, including the neighbors dogs.

However, the jokes are almost self evident. Officers continue to question the answering machine in an effort to determine just what it knew about the crime. Police refuse to comment on assertions that they used a taser to subdue a body pillow in the bedroom.

Of course, with seven hours, the bad guy had plenty of time to make a costume to trick the cops. Perhaps they should have beaten the furniture to check for humans hiding within.

[bemildred]

12. Come come, you can't fault them for being patient?

They didn't blow the place up? Or bulldoze it? I think this calls for applause for police good judgement and restraint.

[TeeYiYi]

13. "Open up! We have a warrant for a Davenport"...

"Sorry, no Davenport... but there might be a Chesterfield..."


TYY

[NuclearDem]

14. Cop tripped over an ottoman.

Officer down! Return fire!

[LiberalEsto]

16. Did the house surrender?

Or did they kill it by shooting it in the foyer?