In my optimistic moments, I predict that life will imitate art...
Boehner: After much thought and consideration, I have decided to make a concession or two. First, I will allow the debt ceiling to increase.
Reid: Oh, you got that right!
Boehner: But I demand that we have another crisis next Thursday.
Reid: No.
Boehner: Accepted. In addition, I demand that Obamacare remain defunded.
Obama: Absolutely not.
Boehner: Then can I have your pen?
Obama: You mean this cheap White House commemorative pen we have millions of back in the office?
Boehner: Yeah.
Obama: No.
Boehner: Oh man. So after all this, I end up with nothing?
Ghost of Lincoln: How about this: Every night I'll visit you in your dreams and tell you that you showed true leadership, and probably saved the Republican Party from total collapse.
Boehner: Aww, Abe. 
. . . Will you call me Big Orange while you do it?
Ghost of Lincoln: No.
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