The DUzy Awards for March 2nd, 2012

[The DUzy Awards]

[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS![/big][/big][/big][/center]

Your weekly edition of the crassest comments and scarily-appropriate visuals in the known Universe!

This week’s improvement: Atificial-hormone-free auxillary verbs. They were having a buy-3-get-one-free deal, so I took advantage and stocked up.


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] rug [/font]
[big] I would like to discuss Zubin Mehta.[/big]
His version of Bartok's Violin Concerto Number 2 is far superior to his version of Bartok's Violin Concerto Number 1.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] SunsetDreams
[big] 1. This is my favorite [/big]

Where did you mean to post this?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] rug [/font]
[big] 2. Isn't this the Mehta Discussion Forum? [/big]



[font color=#FF0000]*winces* I felt that in my puncreas[/font]

Help & Mehta Discussion, Feb 24, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124052776


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by stockholmer
[big] Freedom From Religion : A Fearless Young Woman Takes a Stand[/big]
http://www.counterpunch.org/2012/02/24/freedom-from-religion/

If a person is going to act fearlessly, then it’s best done when young. At least that’s how it worked out for me. Jessica Ahlquist is such a fearless person. Jessica took on the established and entrenched points of view of a large suburban community in Cranston, Rhode Island, and won. She had the help of the American Civil Liberties Union, family, and supporters throughout the country, but her battle was an individual one that resonates very clearly in this election year when some in power wish to destroy the First Amendment’s guarantee of separation between church and state.

The New York Times (“A Brave Stand in Rhode Island,” January 31, 2012) http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/01/opinion/a-brave-stand-in-rhode-island.html championed Jessica’s cause in an editorial and covered her case in a news article (“Student Faces Town’s Wrath in Protest Against Prayer,” The New York Times, January 26, 2012) http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/27/us/rhode-island-city-enraged-over-school-prayer-lawsuit.html . Jessica is a self-proclaimed atheist. She took her high school to task for its display of a student’s prayer that has hung on the wall of Cranston High School West’s auditorium since 1963. I taught briefly at Cranston West during the late 1970s, but I can’t remember the prayer in the school auditorium.

Jessica came to atheism after her mother fell ill when Jessica was in elementary school. And that was what she identifies as being the break she had with religion. Jessica’s case is all the more interesting because Rhode Island is the most Catholic state in the nation. She was labelled “an evil little thing,” by a Rhode Island state representative as her case moved to federal district court in Providence. Several florists in the area refused to send flowers that had been sent to Jessica from supporters around the nation. Local police had to provide escorts for her as the case heated the raw emotions that religious issues often tend to do. A 2009 graduate of the same school called Jessica “an idiot” in The Times news article.

In a wise decision, the Cranston School Committee voted not to appeal the federal district court ruling that supported Jessica’s attempt to have the prayer removed from her school. However, a stunned ACLU-Rhode Island representative, Steven Brown, commented on the apparent delay in removing the prayer banner from the school’s auditorium in response to the mayor of the city’s position that legal fees accrued in the case must be settled before the banner is removed. Brown questioned: “…whether this is an attempt by some petty officials to dredge up a new excuse to avoid complying with the Court’s decision” (“ACLU wants prayer banner removed ASAP,” WPRI.com, February 22, 2012). http://www.wpri.com/dpp/news/local_news/west_bay/cranston-aclu-wants-prayer-banner-removedasap

snip



Jessica Ahlquist, a Rhode Island atheist, won a suit against her school's prayer poster

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] DFW [/font]
[big] 37. "Sticking up for your beliefs:" the sliding Republican rating scale [/big]
Republicans have different reactions if you tell them that you stick up for your beliefs:

Christian: you are a good American!

Muslim: you are a terrrrrist!

Jewish: welllll, if you support Israel's military, don't live in my neighborhood and shut up about the rest, I guess.....

Hindu, Animist, Buddhist, Zoroastrian, Wiccan, Rasta, etc. etc.: if ya gotta, but not here!!

Atheist: you traitor and ally of Satan!!

Sing this to the tune of "The Locomotion:"

("The Evolution&quot

Now that you believe it, come join the cult now,
(Come on, baby, don’t teach evolution)
Tell your children’s teacher there’s a new result, now
(Come on, baby, don’t teach evolution)
What Darwin found is causing me a lot of grief
Religion’s free as long as it is MY belief!
So come on, come on, don’t teach evolution to me!
You gotta bite your tongue, now. Come on baby.
Turn back your clocks. Fossils are just some odd-shaped rocks!

I believe I have been called to lead the nation
(Come on, baby, don’t teach evolution)
I think I read it in the Book of Revelation
(Come on, baby, don’t teach evolution)
It may look like Mitt or Santorum has the lead
But my religion’s pure, and that is what you need!
So come on, come on, don’t teach evolution to me!
Yes, come on, come on, don't teach evolution to me!

GD, Feb 24, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002346597


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by HopeHoops
[big] And what would YOU do with a drunken sailor?[/big]
Nothing from the song - original ideas to ADD to the song.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] The Velveteen Ocelot [/font]
[big] 1. Make him listen to Rick Santorum, [/big]
Make him listen to Rick Santorum,
Make him listen to Rick Santorum,
Ear-lye in the morning.

[font color=#FF0000]Betcha he’s beg for a waterboarding after 10 minutes[/font]

The Lounge, Feb 27, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101864803


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by babylonsister
[big] I guess mittens is breathing a 'hugh' sigh of relief now... he won (one of) his state![/big]


Is this good or bad in your opinion? For me, if this means Santorum goes away, I'm good with that.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] ProSense [/font]
[big] 5. It's [/big]
a quote by Bob Kerrey:

“Santorum, That’s Latin for Asshole”
http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/01/06/santorum-thats-latin-for-asshole/



GD, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002362426


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by EarlG
[big] Humpday Hatemail![/big]
Just a few recent treats from the Hate Mailbag to get you over the hump... I didn't have time to write responses but I'm sure you can manage

[font color=#FF0000]<snip>[/font]

[div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" style="padding: 20px; background-color: rgb(246, 246, 246); border-radius: 10px 10px 10px 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px rgb(170, 170, 170);"][div style="font-family: arial,helvetica; color: rgb(230, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(153, 153, 153); padding-bottom: 10px;"]YES, THAT'S IT, KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THE REPUBLICANS DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT...
[br/]Subject: re
[br/]
[br/]You have got to be some of the dumbest people out there....... if you are an example of the people the DNC chair has helping her we repub's don't have anything to worry about..... her worst enemy is her mouth and barain as they never engage unless its to make a fool out of herself and there she really does not need any help............................. Frank....... oh and by the way....... the 2011 world coming to and end just became the worlds end in 2012........ very stupid.................. most people are smarter then you are...........

[font color=#FF0000]<more>[/font]

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] progressoid [/font]
[big] 8. Reading This Makes My Barain Hurt... [/big]

GD, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002364529


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Ptah
[big]We need a Sherlock Holmes or Nero Wolf forum. Maybe Perry Mason too. [/big]
A thread with 300+ replies that reads like a new mystery novel
turns out to be just another chapter of the great DU novel,
"The case of They Know Who They Are!"

-----------------------

In this new forum we could have a list of the cast and their recurring roles.

Scoreboard of standard insinuations, allegations and implications.


[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] MadrasT [/font]
[big] 35. Whoa.... [/big]
This thread is like...

META-CUBED!!!

It's a thread about a thread about PMs about another thread.

This right here is Meta-Nirvana.


[font color=#FF0000]Meta-Nirvana… sounds like a tribute band.[/font]

Help & Mehta Discussion, Mar 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124055704


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by ScreamingMeemie
[big] Do You Keep Notes??? ---On other DUers, that is?[/big]
This has been running around in my head all day. Throughout the course of a session (I mean what else can we call it?) on DU, I will notice posts like "This poster has a history of...", "The usual suspects...", "The swarm..." etc. Several times throughout my DU experience I have wondered this. I don't keep notes. I do "note" other posters more than others but a lot of times I cannot keep straight in my head whether we "get along" or don't.

So...

Here's some notes on me:

People powered Howard will always speak for me

I am not overly thrilled with this administration, but that does not mean I'm going to sit home in November, and asking me that question is not going to open up a positive dialogue if I criticize the President for something. He's still our President.

I did, at one time, get too involved with this board and its members, on a personal level...until it bit me in the ass. That's not to say I am not on really friendly terms with DUers---I just try not to get involved in the infighting, or picking of sides.

[font color=#FF0000]<snip>[/font]

Feel free to throw these back at me at any point. And I hope that people really don't keep notes on each other here.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] scarletwoman [/font]
[big] 19. Of course not. That would be silly. I make voodoo dolls of the DUers I don't like. [/big]
And every time they post something that pisses me off, I stick another pin in their doll.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Violet_Crumble [/font]
[big] 78. I had to throw away my A-Z expanding file when everything went digital! [/big]
I never got over it. Trying to replicate those files on my trusty Commodore 64 was almost the end of me. I'd devised a pac-man like thing where each forum was represented by a room, and little yellow beeping smiley or cranky faces carefully labelled with each DUer's name moved from room to room. When the cranky faces entered a thread, the screen would show them chewing up the little smiley faces and vomiting them up again in a blazing mess, and a bubble with the crudely pixilated words 'I WON THIS WAR! YOU SUCK!' would emerge from their fire-vomiting mouths. Unfortunately by the time I'd finished my masterpiece, things had moved on and those newfangled PC's had taken over the world. No more remembering who was part of which swarm, who Bully #1284 was referring to when they said 'the usual suspects'. The world had changed around me and because I was on the list of every other DUer, no-one bothered to tell me!!

Broken and shattered, I emerged from my parent's basement, got a job, bought a guitar and started devoting four hours a night to playing every Nirvana song I could find while I sobbed over how fat and bloated Kurt would have been if he hadn't gotten involved with Courtney and had that collision with a bullet. And I found I had no time left for compiling files. Now there's a very simple and easy to use one I keep in my head with less than a handful of DUer's in it. I call it the Utterly Pointless & Pathetic Wanker File. I've got little interest in which one said what where and how often they farted while they said it, it's just a few names that I don't bother engaging with here at DU in my endevour to not make DU suck for me ..



Help & Mehta Discussion, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124055086


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] EarlG [/font]
[big] Pic Of The Moment: Romney Responds To Santorum NASCAR Sponsorship[/big]



http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002353367

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002356655

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] KamaAina [/font]
[big] 8. Santorum: man on dog [/big]
Rmoney: dog on man!

Video & Multimedia, Feb 27, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/101713889


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Laura PourMeADrink
[big] Great comeback from guy who drank with Breitbart hours before he died[/big]
This is a quote from a guy who Breitbart happened to sit next to in a Brentwood
bar the hours before his death
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/andrew-breitbart-dead-la-bar-politics-296386



"He was friendly and engaging," Sando recalls. "I said, 'You can't be very happy with the slate of Republican candidates' and he said, 'Why would you say that?' I said, 'Well, they're talking about contraception,' and he said, 'The conversation is being framed by the liberal media.' I said, 'Well, the media isn't writing Rick Santorum’s speeches for him.' We had a back-and-forth for awhile until we said we weren’t going to agree on some things."

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Erose999 [/font]
[big] 1. There are reports that his cause of death was autoerotic asphyxiation. He died as he lived... [/big]
an uptight jerkoff.


GD, Mar 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002373084


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by samplegirl
[big] I would like to know what Rush's wife thinks[/big]
about his unsatisfied urge for porn??? Guess she figures at least it is not her.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] onehandle [/font]
[big] 3. Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige. nt [/big]

[font color=#FF0000]Had to google that one… [/font]

GD, Mar 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002373657


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by eppur_se_muova
[big] Oetzi the Iceman's nuclear genome gives new insights (BBC)[/big]
By Jason Palmer
Science and technology reporter, BBC News

New clues have emerged in what could be described as the world's oldest murder case: that of Oetzi the "Iceman", whose 5,300-year-old body was discovered frozen in the Italian Alps in 1991.

Oetzi's full genome has now been reported in Nature Communications.

It reveals that he had brown eyes, "O" blood type, was lactose intolerant, and was predisposed to heart disease.

They also show him to be the first documented case of infection by a Lyme disease bacterium.

Analysis of series of anomalies in the Iceman's DNA also revealed him to be more closely related to modern inhabitants of Corsica and Sardinia than to populations in the Alps, where he was unearthed.
***
more: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-17191398
free abstract, paywall for full article: http://www.nature.com/ncomms/journal/v3/n2/full/ncomms1701.html




It just goes to show you're never too old to have your genome sequenced. 

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Botany [/font]
[big] 1. Heart Disease and Lyme Disease too [/big]
good thing he was in europe with their health care system to take
care of him.



Science, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12283100


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by groovedaddy
[big] They’re, Like, Way Ahead of the Linguistic Currrrve[/big]
From Valley Girls to the Kardashians, young women have long been mocked for the way they talk.

Whether it be uptalk (pronouncing statements as if they were questions? Like this?), creating slang words like “bitchin’ ” and “ridic,” or the incessant use of “like” as a conversation filler, vocal trends associated with young women are often seen as markers of immaturity or even stupidity.

Right?

But linguists — many of whom once promoted theories consistent with that attitude — now say such thinking is outmoded. Girls and women in their teens and 20s deserve credit for pioneering vocal trends and popular slang, they say, adding that young women use these embellishments in much more sophisticated ways than people tend to realize.

“A lot of these really flamboyant things you hear are cute, and girls are supposed to be cute,” said Penny Eckert, a professor of linguistics at Stanford University. “But they’re not just using them because they’re girls. They’re using them to achieve some kind of interactional and stylistic end.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/28/science/young-women-often-trendsetters-in-vocal-patterns.html?ref=science

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Scuba [/font]
[big] 1. Whatever. [/big]

Anthropology, Feb 28, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/122994


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by n2doc
[big] New Ultradense Planet Found; Astronomers Baffled[/big]
Rachel Kaufman
for National Geographic News
Published February 22, 2012

A newly discovered planet 4,000 light-years away is just too dense.

Dubbed CoRoT-20b, the planet is thought to be a gas giant about four-fifths the size of Jupiter and orbits close to a sunlike star.

Despite the new planet's relatively diminutive size, this world has four times Jupiter's mass, making CoRoT-20b one of the densest known planets, a new study says.

That poses a problem for astronomers: If CoRoT-20b is structured like a traditional gas giant, with a solid core surrounded by a gassy atmosphere, the planet's core would have to make up 50 to 77 percent of the world's total mass.

By contrast, Jupiter's core is thought to represent just 15 percent of that planet's mass.

To have such a robust core, CoRoT-20b would defy current theories for how planets form.

more

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/02/120222-new-planet-found-densest-jupiter-corot-space-science/

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Xipe Totec [/font]
[big] 1. Sarah Palin, phone home... nt [/big]

Science, Feb 26, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12283010



Thanks to: Dr. Strange, eridani, DinahMoeHum, babylonsister, JTFrog, Hatchling, Ruby the Liberal, rocktivity, krispos42, countryjake, Enrique, and eppur_se_muova!!!


What the hell? We get ONE February 29th every four years, and NOBODY says a single funny thing that entire day???

*shakes head sadly*


Submitted for your approval,
-Krispos42

[krispos42]

1. Nice to see the radiused excerpt boxes came out

I may have to add that to the DUzies...

[alittlelark]

2. Meta Nirvana....

I'm still laughing about that one!

[polly7]

3. Very entertaining!

I love that Romney car picture!

[Little Star]

4. Funny! Thanks. k&r

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. Wonderful!

Sorry I couldn't contribute this week...

I was in the hospital getting my left knee replaced!

















No, honest!

[krispos42]

11. I didn't know you used your knee to type

Got a video of how you do that?

[ellisonz]

6. K & R

[lovemydog]

7. I love the 'whatever' response

to the linguist.

[malaise]

8. Thanks for these

K & R

[annabanana]

9. kickers!. . . . n/t

[HappyMe]

10. Giggling kick!

[dixiegrrrrl]

12. I had no idea Violet Crumble was such a creative writer.

[countryjake]

13. "Utterly Pointless & Pathetic Wanker File"

I seriously tea-ed my entire keyboard (and monitor) when I reached that part of her story...perfect plot construction, with a zinging conclusion!

I second your applause...