WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Saying that they needed to be in peak physical condition for their looming effort to defund Obamacare, over a hundred House Republicans lined up for their free annual physicals today.
The physicals, part of Congresss government-subsidized health-care package, yielded good news for many of the House G.O.P., who learned that they were strong and healthy enough for the demanding task of defunding Obamacare.
-snip-
House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia)whose free annual physical included an examination of his heart, lungs, ears, eyes, throat, and bloodsaid that his doctor proclaimed him in perfect physical condition: He said I should be able to live a long, healthy life and defund Obamacare for many years to come.
Rep. Cantor added that he had lost a few pounds since last years free annual physical, as he headed to lunch before defunding food stamps.