How to convince your server to become an atheist...

[WilliamPitt]

Epic dick move.

[Jackpine Radical]

1. Brilliant psychology.

Pairing an emotional rush & wave of disappointment with a Jesus freak Bible quote.

Reminds me of the story about the two old political hacks who were talking about the tricks of the trade. The Republican said "When I take a cab, I always tell the cabbie to vote Republican & then double-tip him."

The Democrat said, "Ya know--I always do almost the same thing. I tell the cabbie to vote Republican too, but then I don't tip him."

[petronius]

18. It's astounding that anyone could think this was a good idea

Suggests that the purpose has nothing to do with reaching out to others, and everything to do with self-aggrandizement and reinforcing a sense of superiority. Calls to mind the bible quote about how those who pray ostentatiously in public have already received their 'reward'...

[Jackpine Radical]

38. My thoughts exactly.

Anyone who would think this is going to score them points with the waitstaff has to be sunk far into malignant narcissism.

Although i think it would be kinda funny to get a bunch of people to attend a fundy sermon on Sunday down at the local We're Saved and You're Not Megachurch & Salvatorium & fill the offering basket with these things.

[csziggy]

40. I love your suggestion!

[Jackpine Radical]

44. Mineral Man beat me to it downthread, actually.

[csziggy]

67. Two great minds with a wonderful thought!

[AllyCat]

149. I could almost go to one of those for the privilege

Of putting that in the collection plate. Almost.

[Jenoch]

77. That story makes the Democrat look cheap and the Republican generous.

[Jackpine Radical]

90. Obviously.

But then Dems have traditionally always had to campaign with less cash.

[Jenoch]

113. "But then Dems have traditionally always had to campaign with less cash."

Not lately, at least not the big races. President Obama hugely outspent both McCain and Romney.

[Jackpine Radical]

115. In the Wisconsin recall, the Dem candidate got outspent 30:1.

[Jenoch]

118. That was a unique situation.

I wonder what happens during the regular elections?

We used to get outspent in Minnesota, but not recently has it been that apparent.

[hatrack]

2. Got this one a few times during my waiting days . . .

Fuck, the Sunday brunch shift SUCKED.

[sharp_stick]

3. Tell me about it

I did that shift a bunch of times way back in high school and before going to college.

Everyone hated the shift because the place just got swarmed after Jeebus let the sheep out of the pen and they didn't tip worth a shit.

They didn't seem to mind dumping 10% off the top to the church but it would be a cold day in hell that they'd even consider 10% onto a breakfast bill.

This was also during the time when you could smoke in restaurants and I swear the church crowd was the worst. Smoky room because they weren't allowed to smoke in church and more than once I found a cigarette butt jammed into a piece of pancake or in the yolk of an egg. Just fucking disgusted me.

[12AngryBorneoWildmen]

5. Cigarette butts in food disgusts me no end. nt

[PDJane]

56. I hate that.

My father used to put about six teaspoons of sugar in his tea, not stir it, then but out his cigarette in the sludge. Of course, when it dried, mother or I would get the job of cleaning out the sugar crust and the butt. I hated that crap.

If I caught someone doing that in a restaurant, I'd be tempted to smack them silly.

[reflection]

36. Got a few myself.

But it all came out in the wash. I didn't find churchgoers (easy to spot on Sunday) to be any more or less generous than their counterparts. They seemed a little harder to wait on though - they ran me around a little more with staggered drink orders and other requests. I waited tables through high school and part of college.

[Warpy]

59. Barbara Ehrenreich pointed out in "Nickled and Dimed"

that during her stint as a waitress, the worst people were the "conspicuous Christians" with their gold crosses and WWJD t-shirts. They were bad or absent tippers and demanding as hell when she was stuck waiting on them.

I tried being a waitress but it was a very bad fit with undiagnosed RA. I lasted three weeks, just couldn't heft those heavy trays. I noticed the fundy crowd being lousy tippers, too.

My next job was in a state mental hospital. It was better, the patients were saner than most of the restaurant patrons, especially on Sunday mornings.

[politicat]

103. Saner than the patrons... Yup.

I waited tables for a couple years and I'd always take a Wednesday closing shift over a Sunday morning shift. (And I had an 8 am organic chem lab on Thursday morning.)

My next job was interning at the VA hospital in the psych ward. Despite being totally unsuited for the VA psych ward (small, young, female and far too innocent) and the starving stipend, I loved that job. Any time I got down, all I had to do was think how much worse my successor had it.

[Warpy]

112. That's about the way I felt

It's been the source of many of my great stories that nobody believes. I remember many of the patients with great affection.

Not so the Sunday brunch crowd. They've all faded into a blob of surly people who wanted the moon on a string and didn't want to pay for it.

[obxhead]

138. Sunday, twice the work, 1/4th the pay.

Fuck the Sunday fundie crowd.

[hlthe2b]

4. That one deserves some epic Karmic blowback....

[Brickbat]

6. My son found one of those once that was left under a paper towel in a public bathroom.

He was about four or five and thought he had found a $20 bill. He was thrilled, until he found out what it was, at which point he was heartbroken. He still talks about it, 10 years later. He's a very skeptical agnostic.

[Unca Jim]

7. Man that is evil...

Just mean spirited and terrible...

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

8. I worked six years at a restaurant attached to a convention center:

The days people never wanted to work were the Easter Sunday brunch and the two weekends when the Jehovas' Witnesses and the Mormons had conventions or gatherings there.

Granted, I was behind the lines in the kitchen, but I was friends with a lot of the waitstaff. These kinds of things would piss them off royally, mainly because they were paired with constant insistence that drinks/salads/appetizers should be free for them.

Cheapest group of customers ever, I was told.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

30. hotels reported that sales of porn on their room TV systems jumps markedly

when conservative christians are in town.

[Arugula Latte]

9. Barbara Ehrenreich in "Nickeled & Dimed," writing about her stint as a waitress:

The worst, for some reason, are the Visible Christians – like the ten-person table, all jolly and sanctified after Sunday night service, who run me mercilessly and then leave me $1 on a $92 bill ... As a general rule, people wearing crosses or WWJD?? . . . buttons look as us disapprovingly no matter what we do.

[MrMickeysMom]

92. Ain't THAT the truth...

I waitressed my way through vocational school on my way to my career and the WORST tippers aren't fucked up on beer, but ones that are all fucked up on the Lord...

The BEST tippers are other servers, and others who depended on their tips.

[Half-Century Man]

10. Counterfeit Faith

When someone uses a perception of faith to do the mean, petty, or vile.

"Somethings are better than money"???? Dipshit, try paying the rent with prayer. Better yet, Pay your tithe in church with a prayer. Call the 700 club and pledge 5000 prayers.

[Wait Wut]

11. You know you've been a graphic artist too long when...

...you can't figure out how to convert your 'server'.

Now that I'm aware that you meant the other kind of server, whatthefuck is wrong with people? It's assholes like this that make me tip over 20%. Especially when I get a strong feeling that the table full of self-righteous tools at the next table will leave a buck. Y'know, the same table full of asshats that get into an Escalade when they leave.

[MineralMan]

13. And they're two months late on payments for that Escalade, too.

Yuck! I avoid businesses that are conspicuous about being "Christian-Owned," too. Yes, I do.

[Wait Wut]

24. So do I.

I always ask people if they're 'sure' they want to add that little fishy to their advertising, etc. The responses I get have helped me learn restraint. I seldom laugh in people's faces, anymore.

[MattBaggins]

80. The really stealth ones piss me off most

After you have paid for the tires, and they have been mounted and put on the car, then they try to hand you the tracts and other bullshit.

I would have walked out before buying if I had known.

[Maeve]

136. Even as a Christian I avoided those

Using God to get more business? I think that falls under the "can't serve two masters, God and Money" rule.

[woodsprite]

57. That was my first thought also. n/t

[progressoid]

75. The cheapest/worst client I ever had was a bank president.

He was a fundy Christian and, yes, he drove an Escalade.

[MattBaggins]

82. I thought it was the chevy suburbans.

[LittleGirl]

12. I can so relate

when I was waiting tables at a mexican restaurant in 82-83, I got several 'tracks' from the church groups that would come in on Sunday night. Pissed me off because I had to claim 8% of their bill for a tip I never got. Those laws need to be overturned...and you can thank Reagan that bastard for raising my taxes on a server salary and forcing me to claim tips I never got.

[Le Taz Hot]

22. WTF?

Yeah, because it's the servers we need to go after to ensure they pay their fair share of taxes. Oy vey!

[former9thward]

28. The poster I replied to was complaining she had to claim 8%.

Which is BS since no server does. You must know no servers because none complain about the present system. They average far higher than 8% and most of it is cash which they don't claim. Do you think servers should pay no taxes?

[Le Taz Hot]

37. Actually, my mother was a waitress

and we survived on her tips, or lack thereof so, yes, I know "servers." You seem to have missed my point which was my apparently vain attempt to entice you to look at the bigger picture. But you go ahead and rag on the minimum-wage servers for not paying adequate taxes because if they did, we could balance the budget. Or something.

[former9thward]

39. Go ahead put a bunch of words in my mouth that I never said.

Other posters will see that.

[Le Taz Hot]

41. LOL!

Yes, they will see the entire exchange.

[Enthusiast]

133. I read the entire exchange.

I'm with you, Le Taz Hot.

[Quantess]

178. Me too.

[2ndAmForComputers]

144. Other posters...

...see PLENTY.

[former9thward]

146. I love it when posters try and speak for DU.

Fail.

[2ndAmForComputers]

148. Other replies in this godforsaken subthread seem to indicate I'm correct in my assessment...

...of DU being mostly composed of non-sociopathic, non-poor-hating people.

[former9thward]

150. Other replies?

There is exactly one other reply in the sub-thread. But take your victories where you can claim them. Of course I am just a sociopathic poor-hating poster so what do I know.

[2ndAmForComputers]

153. A modicum of reading comprehension would be enough to understand I was talking about...

...the subthread from post #19.

[former9thward]

154. Even though I am a poor hating sociopath...

that was the sub-thread I was referring to.

[2ndAmForComputers]

155. Whoa.

[WilliamPitt]

46. "You must know no servers because none complain about the present system."

Turn off the internet. It's all over. Perfect Dumb has been achieved.

[former9thward]

65. For you maybe.

I'm still trying.

[2ndAmForComputers]

151. What a clever, stinging rebuttal.

[former9thward]

152. Ohh a stalker from other thread.

[2ndAmForComputers]

156. WHAT other thread?

Are you sure you're getting this whole "internet discussion forum" thingie?

[friendly_iconoclast]

171. "I'm still trying" You're trying, all right...

[Tien1985]

68. +1000 nt

[Chan790]

88. Seriously. --A former server. n/t

[LittleGirl]

43. Are you kidding me?

I was paid 2.01 an hour which was less than minimum wage at the time of 3.35 an hour. I also had to pay taxes back then because Reagan thought that my measly hourly wage of 2.01 an hour was too fucking much to avoid paying taxes!!!

I just pulled out my Social Security Statement (that they no longer mail to you) and these are my total wages for 1982 and 83. Most of my paychecks were 0 after taxes and insurance. I remember several times, my paycheck balance was less than 0 because of taxes and insurance health care premiums.

Your taxed SS earnings
1982 - 3,454
1983 - 4,242

You try to live on that. I had an apt, lived alone, no car and was going to school full time as a college student taking the bus everywhere. My Father had died when I was a freshman in high school (heart failure) and my Mother did not help me. She worked in a factory and couldn't send her children to college. We had to pay for it ourselves.

So what was your point again?

[former9thward]

64. I know alot of servers.

No one complains about having to claim 8%. They make a hella lot more than that and don't claim it.

[LittleGirl]

69. welll good for you/them

I didn't make a lot of money which was my point and going to school full time so I was dumb struck by your comment.
I worked at a mexican joint after I quit Red Lobster where getting stiffed on tips was pretty common. After 3 yrs of that shit, I quit serving to work in an office making a whopping 5 bucks an hour. That was a raise for me even though I had no health care for years after that.

[former9thward]

72. I know serving can be unpleasant at times.

But it is not the hardest job in the world. I worked in a steel mill in Chicago for 14 years and that is much harder. And I didn't get to claim an amount for my taxes. My employer took the full amount out of my paycheck and then some.

[LittleGirl]

73. You've insulted me long enough

I grew up 80 miles from Chicago. Chicago servers make a whole lot more than my small town restaurants.
I served a bunch of drunk Notre Dame fans after their games and trust me, you do not want to hear the stories of how I was grabbed at, flirted with or ordered around simply for being a female. I'll bet you probably never suffered from intimidation or workplace harassment on the job or from those you served. And you had excellent benefits with vacation time, health care and I had none of that. I worked every weekend from age 16-26 until it about killed me and I NEVER GOT A FUCKING VACATION. My parents both worked in factories and I'm pretty certain my father died at 42 from exhaustion making 5 bucks an hour running a lathe.

Give it up. You've lost this one.

bub bye

[Bay Boy]

84. Listen here LittleGirl!

Sorry, I don't have anything to add. I just always wanted to say that without getting yelled at.

[Skittles]

100. SCHEDULING BAY BOY FOR ASS KICKING

*EGREGIOUS*

[Skittles]

101. I work in information technology

I've always said I could never be a waitress - too f***ing hard

[LittleGirl]

105. my second career

was as an exchange administrator for north america. another soul sucking profession headed by testosterone idiots without any personal relationship skills. Try being the only woman in your group? yikes.

[Skittles]

106. uh, I was in the military in 1975

I'm also the only girl of six kids - I actually thrive as the only gal in a group

[LittleGirl]

108. so you understand! Good!

I knew someone would. Nice to meet you. Cheers.

[Skittles]

116. the guys in the hardware group put up a playboy centerfold in my locker

so I got a gay neighbor to give me magazine pics of very hairly nekked men and I papered their lockers.......you should have heard all the hollering

[LittleGirl]

120. LOL n/t

[Le Taz Hot]

135. ROFLMO!

I lurves me some Skittles!

[TeamPooka]

94. I knew you're whole point was going to be "I work harder than you waitress" when you started

that tangent.
Well aren't you a fucking big shot.

[hatrack]

141. I, for one, have never been in the presence of a worthier, harder-working person . . .

[irisblue]

169. Hi i'm irisblue

now you know one.....geez, are you sure you're on the correct website?

[Manifestor_of_Light]

86. Minimum wage for servers now is $2.13 an hour, I believe.

I've never worked in food service but that's what a server told me.

There's a quote about if you are not nice to people who can't do anything to you, you are not a nice person, usually referring to waiters, but I can't find it.

[former9thward]

97. I suppose you have a point there but it is well hidden.

[LittleGirl]

107. 2.13? boy those CORP restaurants are sure breaking the bank

for slaves wages like that eh?

/sarcasm

[Manifestor_of_Light]

124. Minimum wage is different for restaurant employees.

$2.13 an hour, they are supposed to pool their tips with the other staff and split them and that is supposed to make up the $5-something/hour difference below regular minimum wage.


On the other topic of advertising as a Christian business, I refuse to hire people with crosses and fishies in their advertising.

[LittleGirl]

125. I never like pooling tips

It's unfair to really good wait staff and the bus boys etc make more money (per hour) and yes they help but the waiters make sure the customer is happy and their food is eatable. The bus boys only clean up after them so are not involved in their satisfaction quotient. This whole business of tipping needs to end anyway but that's another thread.

[TeamPooka]

93. why are you changing the subject?

[nashville_brook]

29. that's a really good point -- if you're paying 8% taxes on the bill, then you need at least 8%

to break even -- so, diners are effectively stealing directly from you when they don't tip.

GAH!

[LittleGirl]

45. exactly. thank you for seeing that. n/t

[whopis01]

128. That's not quite how the math works...

A server doesn't pay 8% taxes on the total bill. They have to declare 8% of the total bill as tip income and then pay taxes on that amount.

So the taxes paid are somewhere around 15% - 25% of 8% of the total bill. The break even point is a lot lower than 8%. More like 2% or less.

With that said I only point this out because the math error bugged me. Anyone who doesn't tip, or tips something like 8% is an asshole. They shouldn't be going out to eat if they can not afford it.

[nashville_brook]

137. i get that -- but if you're paying tax on 8% it's only fair that the tip is actually 8%

otherwise you should at least be able to write that bill off.

[Ms. Toad]

177. You are supposed to pay tax on whatever you make.

Every person receiving tips is obligated to report their actual tips as income. (That's what the law says - not what most people do.)

Employer withholding is based on the tips reported to the employer - and if none are reported withholding is based on a presumption that tips are - on average - 8% of the bill. So anyone who really is making less than 8% (average) of the food bills is paying taxes they don't owe - which they can remedy by reporting their tips accurately to the employer.

So it isn't a write-off, but it is not income in the first place if you didn't actually receive it.

[Ms. Toad]

161. Close, but not quite.

Taxes are withheld as if the server received an 8% tip on the bill.

Every server is obligated to track their own tips and report the actual income on their tax return (adjusting the presumed 8% tip to reality). In the years I did taxes, not a single person who received tips actually made the adjustment.

But if someone is consistently receiving low tips, the lower income should be reconciled for tax purposes (I believe it is reported firs to the the employer, and if you don't report to the employer the withholding is based on an 8% tip; total tips in excess of 8% not reported to the employer are to be reported on form 4137 each year).

So - no, they do not have to declare 8%. They have to declare whatever their actual tip income for the year is. Most just accept the tax hit rather than reconcile it if they actually receive less than 8% tips. And the only thing I ever used form 4137 for was to rat out employers who treated employees as independent contractors, since the same form was used to force the employer to pay its share of social security which they had attempted to impose on employee by paying the employee on an 1099-MISC form.

Which is actually a good reason to report all of your tip income - even though taxes are only withheld as if you earned an average 8% tip. Social security payments are based on reported income, and anyone not reporting tip income will have lower social security income in retirement if their career was spent predominantly in tip-dependent work. My sister is in that situation, and is in the process of working herself to death because her social security income will be even lower than the small amount she should have received, because she didn't ever report tip income.

[whopis01]

174. Agreed

I understand the difference between withholdings and what is actually owed - I was just trying to correct the statement above where the poster said that they paid 8% tax on the entire bill.

I never knew anyone who declare their actual tips either - so for them the withholding based on 8% becomes what they owe.

[Ms. Toad]

159. Actually, you didn't have to claim it.

The 8% is just a presumption. What you are supposed to be doing (even before Reagan) was keeping track of your tip income and reporting it.

If you really are paying taxes on income you didn't receive, there is a tax form to claim back the excess withholding. But you have to have records for all your tips for the year, report the actual tip income (not just the ones which were under 8%), so you are only paying taxes on your actual income. It has been a while since I worked with the forms, so I don't recall whether the form goes directly to the IRS or to the employer. But you are absolutely not obligated to pay income taxes on tips you did not receive (and you are obligated to pay taxes on those you did receive, even when they are in excess of 8%).

That said - I think the tipping system needs to be abolished and servers paid a living wage, so your income is not dependent on the whims of customers. But - many servers I have seen discussing this actually feel they are better off with the current system.

[backscatter712]

14. The worst, most self-righteous fundies are the ones that pull this shit. n/t

[Mariana]

162. And they're the first to cry persecution

if someone calls them out on their shitty behavior.

[backscatter712]

163. The fuckers demand the right to persecute others.

True fucking scum.

Makes me want to burn a church down.

(Disclaimer: No, I won't actually do this, Agent Mike.)

[Rex]

15. I thought you meant computer server.

nt.

[LeftishBrit]

58. Me too!

[MineralMan]

16. Here's a link to a place that sells these things:

http://christiandollarstore.com/bibletracts.html

They call them "Money Tracts." Maybe we should buy a bunch of them, attend some church en masse and put them in the offering plate. I don't know, but that seems like a worthwhile thing to do.

[SunSeeker]

20. LOL. Great idea. nt

[calimary]

23. That is a GREAT idea!

"Money Tracts," 'eh? Almost makes me want to order some, but I never go to church anymore. Too alienated.

[MineralMan]

27. I only go for weddings and funerals, and collection plates

aren't passed at those...well, not usually. I did attend a wedding where the plate was passed, once. Shocking!

[Bay Boy]

49. You should reach in and grab a fistful of dollars

and say Thank YOU!

[MineralMan]

53. Nah. The principles of my atheism prohibit stealing.

I just pass the plate along.

[Bay Boy]

54. Hah! Good one! Everyone knows that...

...atheists don't have principles.

[MineralMan]

55. This one does. Each atheist is his or her own person.

Every person has his or her own set of ethical beliefs. Atheism itself does not offer any teachings of any kind. It's up to each atheist to behave as he or she sees fit.

I have a very strong set of ethics, based on societal values. How about you?

[Bay Boy]

61. I am willing to match my ethics against yours...

...but PS I'm an atheist too.

[MineralMan]

62. It's not a competition.

Truly.

[Bay Boy]

70. You started it :)

And I'm more atheistic than you too

[rhett o rick]

85. I had a principle once. His name was Mr. Martin. He was a bastard. nm

[tclambert]

134. A CEO's ethics DEMAND that he steal from the collection plate.

Otherwise, he isn't maximizing the return on investment for his shareholders . . . or himself. If maximizing profit serves as his only ethical guideline, then he must murder everyone in the congregation if it makes a penny more of profit.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

33. Perfect!

[Jackpine Radical]

42. I posted the same idea here before seeing yours but after you posted it.

I guess we're both evil.

[MineralMan]

48. I'm sure we are evil, in the eyes of folks who try to fool people

with these. Oh, well.

[TeamPooka]

91. +100,000

[niyad]

140. great idea--except, instead of buying them, we could just print them off on our little pooters?

would hate to give those clowns any money. the going to church part might be fun, would be interesting to see if the building shakes when I enter.

[2ndAmForComputers]

147. Would probably be more expensive. Price of computer ink for the end customer is MURDER.

One of the worst rip-offs in existence.

[AllyCat]

158. I heart this. When can we go?

[Bunnahabhain]

17. That person needs to be punched in the head. Repeatedly.

One of my many jobs during undergrad was working as a valet at a fancy restaurant. It was great as I was paid in cash and could earn $100 for working 10:30-1:30 on a weekday between classes. I developed a list of cheap professions from this. The top of the list was social workers.

[Trajan]

31. Ah ... Violence ... that will solve the problem ..

No bout a doubt it! ....

[Bunnahabhain]

34. Concrete operational phase?

Because, yeah, my comment should be taken in a 100% literal fashion.

[Jackpine Radical]

50. Piagetian theory explains so many things…

[Trajan]

63. statements reveal the mind ....

You had about 16 billion different phrases to choose from, yet you selected those to indicate a need to assault someone .. that was your choice, not mine ..

I take you at your word .... there is no reason to color your intent with my own interpretation .. say what you mean to say instead...

[Bunnahabhain]

74. I mean to say you make me laugh

So keep on being you!

[Trajan]

114. "That person needs to be punched in the head. Repeatedly."

Fucking hilarious ....

[Bunnahabhain]

160. Not nearly as funny as someone reading a webboard post in a purely concrete operation manner

and then perseverating on it. Please, continue...

[backscatter712]

164. No, but it'll make me feel better. n/t

[Maraya1969]

21. When I was a waitress I got ripped of really bad twice at an expensive restaurant and I went out and

Last edited Wed Sep 18, 2013, 11:58 AM - Edit history (1)

found both parties, (the head of the party which was the man considering it both happened on Mother's Day) and told them that their tip was not enough. One man was very embarrassed and asked me how much he should give me and I can't remember what the other one gave me know but they both coughed up.

This was 20 some years ago in NJ. I don't know how well that would go over now. Truthfully I don't know how I could go through it again and not say anything.

[mercuryblues]

76. I gave

a customer back their tip and told them, that they obviously needed it more than me as single mother.

[1000words]

81. It's "gyped," and it's an ethnic slur.

Might as well used the term "jewed." There's no difference.

From your avatar I see equality is an issue close to your heart so I know you will make the proper edit.

[TeamPooka]

95. that is correct. It is derived from the word Gypsy and is a slur. Welcome to DU!

[1000words]

109. Thanks, Pooka.

Lurked for many, many years and marveled at the evolution of this site. Thought it might be a good time to join the fray.

[gopiscrap]

121. Welcome to DU

[1000words]

123. Thanks

Congrats on 5000.

[8 track mind]

131. damn! did not know that

The last time i heard that term my grandpa was alive and well. Learn something every day

[irisblue]

170. me too.

thanks 1000words, truly

[niyad]

142. welcome to DU

[Maraya1969]

165. I changed it and thank you. I had no idea that was an ethmic slur.

[1000words]

172. Thank you. I apologize for the snark. Most do not know the origin of the word.

My mother was of Romany heritage and she always called folks out on that term. Since her passing, I have a strange compulsion to continue her efforts.

[JNelson6563]

25. I wonder how he'd feel

if he got paid in propaganda instead of money for his job.

Julie

[Dash87]

26. This is a metaphor for organized Christianity.

You see this beautiful thing on the surface, but then when you look close enough, you realize how full of shit it is as you mope in disappointment.

[jberryhill]

32. It's a counterfeit

Like their faith.

[FreeState]

35. I'll take this $50 one I found

[Blue_Tires]

51. Seems like a class joint...

http://www.onmidway.com/vu/

[Bay Boy]

52. I'm pretty sure at Deja Vu...

...it's 100% off.

[truebrit71]

83. Ba-da-boom!!

[Vashta Nerada]

47. The little old lady at my local bakery got fooled by one of those and accepted it as real currency.

It was folded and she didn't realize it until after the idiots ran off with the free doughnuts.

[Warpy]

60. At some point, one of these clowns will be detained by management

and nailed for passing counterfeit currency.

It can't happen soon enough.

[Chan790]

89. Happened at the bank I used to work for.

Guy came in with a 100-bundle of $100s with the standard $10000 wrapper. When we broke it to count it, (we always count them, even if they're in the wrappers and plastic) we found several (3 or 4) dummy bills. (Not the religious ones...the 9/11 truther ones.) We called the police to detain him, he insisted he didn't know they were in there. Then we called the Secret Service...passing counterfeit currency is their jurisdiction. They don't get too many counterfeiters caught in the act that they don't have to chase down; this makes them happy.

He's now a resident of the FCI Cumberland where presumably he makes license plates.

It actually happens quite often in retail and banking that someone tries to pass one of these bills.

[MineralMan]

66. I once had a server write "John 3:16" on my check.

I wrote "Matthew 6:6" under it, and left a 25% tip.

I'm not sure why people try to mix religion and business that way, but I always tip servers well.

[Hekate]

87. Matthew 6:6 --> That is brilliant. I'll have to remember it, as it applies to so many situations...

... in the good ol' USA.

Btw, I know what you mean about ethics. My mom walked away from her childhood religion when my brother and I were infants, and raised us on a diet of talk about "ethics" and "every religion's core is the Golden Rule" and (I kid you not) "the social contract."

She was a profoundly ethical human being and intended for us to be the same: honest, kind, just, hardworking, openminded. As a little kid I wanted to be in a church and even though it gave her the wim-wams, she let me go with neighbors, only pulling me out after the fundies prayed over me. As a teenager I attended Catechism classes with a friend at the Catholic church, and took strong exception to the priest who was very cold to me after hearing that my parents were lapsed Catholics. I was too polite to say anything, but it angered me because I knew my ex-Catholic parents were (that word again) very ethical in their lives.

My spiritual journey has been a sojourn, but it is my own. One thing I know for sure: Although I have found a relationship with the sacred to be sustaining, not everyone needs a god/goddess to live a moral life. Not at all.

Hekate

[babylonsister]

102. Lovely post, my friend!

I feel like I know you better.

[Hekate]

104. Thank you!

[TeamPooka]

96. love it! Using it. nt

[tiredtoo]

71. I noticed many here

are professing to be atheists. here is a religion you all may want to consider to if you should desire to join the masses.
Pastafarianism. Check it out it may fill the bill.

[sakabatou]

78. I hold His Noodliness in my heart

[LostOne4Ever]

98. Pastafarianism is awesome

But I want to note that there is also the Church of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, blessed be her hooves.

She is pink but also invisible, which seems to be contradictory but is something you just have to take upon faith. And its best not to make fun of this as she could be anywhere. EVEN IN THIS VERY POST

[center] [/center]

But we would never see her as she is invisible!!!

The IPU also has a pretty cool symbol too!

[center] [/center]

It is a null void symbol stylized into a unicorn!

[progressoid]

111. I will partake in the body of his noodly appendages in a few minutes!

With meatballs.

[niyad]

145. don't forget the sacramental wine!

[progressoid]

175. Sadly, the one bottle we had went bad.

it was more like sacramental vinegar.

.

[niyad]

180. this is what happens when you do not hold regular services!

you did not throw the wine out, I hope--can always use it in the salad dressing, or as the base of a marinade for meats.

[backscatter712]

166. He boiled for your sins!

And he's tasty with garlic and oregano!

[Mojo Electro]

79. Nice!

I'm sure my landlord would be cool if I included this as part of the rent.

After all, it's "better than money", it says so right on there.

Good thinking, xtians.

[LostOne4Ever]

99. Cheating people out of their hard earned tips is not cool!

[center] [/center]

[salin]

110. back in the 80s I got a "tip" like this

yep, the evangelical tract I received sure convinced me, at my sub-minimum wage, that some holier than thou folks are jerks who seem to think that the teachings of Jesus (aka the Gospels) is simply about life after death - and nothing about any of the actual teachings.

In my summer of waiting tables and tending bar, I only received one such "tip". Guessing it is more common today.

[Incitatus]

117. This is one of the reasons I tip well.

I know there's so many assholes out there that do not.

[steve2470]

119. The asshole "Christians" get all the publicity, which they richly deserve and then some

The pastors at those churches need to teach that, HEY IDIOTS...SERVERS NEED TO BE TIPPED AT LEAST 20% OR STAY HOME. Part of being a good Christian is to pay people fairly for their services.

Not rocket science or Harvard Divinity School stuff.

[hrmjustin]

122. This is a horrible thing. This stunt would turn people off to your message.

Too many of my fellow Christians do to many stupid things that reflect badly on Christianity.

[pitbullgirl1965]

129. Everytime they do or say something ignorant

or hateful, YOU need to call them out. Whenever someone says "oh but they aren't real Christians" and "but we're not all like that!
liberal Christians are not trying to make the offended party feel better, only themselves and dodging responsibility to clean up your house

You may not all be like that, but the vast majority of Christian *I* have met sure are mean spirited people. Saying that they're not "real Christians" only makes the person saying it feel better, not the person who's been insulted, or abused by Christian

[hrmjustin]

130. Yes we do need to call them out. And the majority of Christians I have met are normal people

like anyone else. I live in NYC so I meet people of different points of view all the time.

I am not the person to determine who is a real Christian. that is up to a higher power. I just wish some Christians would stop doing crap like this.

I am sorry your experience with Christians has been poor. It breaks my heart when I hear that. I hear it too often.

[Mariana]

167. No one can say who is a real Christian

but a lot of people sure try. It happens here frequently. Every time someone puts the word Christian in quotes, that's exactly what they're doing.

[pitbullgirl1965]

183. Thank you!

It could also be confirmation bias on my part too. I have to remember they're not all like that. The Christian Privilege in America is just as bad.
I never said "under God" in the pledge, nor bow my head for prayers in public.
One Thanksgiving I spent at a friend of a friend. We all joined hands and they prayed. It was uncomfortable.
I had the opposite experience with my friends who are very religious (the wife is a minister,, a good friend of theirs was there, a nun). It was enjoyable and I didn't feel alienated.
Weird!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

176. Pitbullgirl, you are right.

Most of the Christians I've run into are ignorant and proud of it. I know the Bible much better than they do (Had to take religion courses as part of earning a B.A. in a secular subject at a Presbyterian liberal arts college)
and they don't know what they're talking about.

The No True Scotsman fallacy is the "they're not real Christians" excuse.

PBG, I don't know how long you've been on DU, but I have ranted many times about hateful and stupid crap that Christians believe and push on those of us who are not interested. And I get no straight answers on the subject. I get evasion and apologetics.

I can't have a fair discussion on the subject because they refuse to discuss Christianity according to the rules of logic.

[pitbullgirl1965]

182. I'll have to check out your posts!

I've come to a point where I don't get so angry over them. I will call out the apologists and the Christian privilege when I see it.

[brewens]

126. You might have a live one there that honestly believes that those are

great and is doing the server a favor by turning them onto JAYUSUS! I wouldn't be surprised.

[Vanje]

127. Ye will know them by their fruits

Ye will know them as cheap, nickle-pinching sonsabitches.

[sakabatou]

132. +1

[underpants]

139. Well, at least they have SOME toilet paper now

That's like 2 squares

[backscatter712]

168. On campus we got those guys in suits passing out mini-Bibles.

Those are useful for toilet paper...

[Blue Owl]

143. Forward that $10 donation to Pat Robertson's "Operation Blessing"

n/t

[hughee99]

157. If some things are better than money, why is money all the evangelists ever ask for. n/t

[madinmaryland]

173. Force it to run a Wndows 7 Server package.

[Lancero]

179. Anyone know where I can get these?

I have need for them. A lot of them.

[niyad]

181. mineral man's post #16

http://christiandollarstore.com/bibletracts.html