I'm a San Diego Dem-SO, I Post This: The Camp Journal Of Bobby F: An Odyssey Of Growth & Redemption
The Camp Journal Of Bobby F : An Odyssey Of Growth & Redemption
By: TBogg Saturday July 27, 2013 1:10 am
Monday Aug 5, 2013 Day One
My name is Bobby F. and I am a serial groper of women.
I am here at Camp Morningwood high in the hills above San Diego by my own choice so that I might become a better person. Recently it was brought to my attention that I have acted “inappropriately” in both social settings as well as in private with women with whom I have come in contact with on a daily basis or while conducting official government business. According to those who have witnessed my actions or have been on the receiving end, I have acted poorly and therefore have been described as a “walking hard-on”, a “clammy-handed sex lamprey”, “that thing in the Alien movie that shoved its proboscis-thing down that guys throat to implant an egg”, and as a “total dick”. Also, “Headlock McGropeyface” … although I’m not sure what that one means. Needless to say it would seem that I have my work cut out for me as I work with the Camp Morningwood counselors and my fellow campers over the next two weeks to modify my behavior so that I can once again walk amongst my fellow (female) citizens without grabbing their asses or licking my lips in a lascivious manner at the slightest glance. God grant me strength.
Tuesday, Aug. 6 – Day Two
Today we awoke to A New Day of Clear Hearts and Clean Minds. For some it began later than for others as a few of my fellow campers were caught in their bunks masturbating to a light breeze that wafted into our cabin from across the lake. After a brief yet intense communal shaming ritual we had breakfast and then met in the Sharing Lodge where we each spoke in turn about our “difficulties with women” and sexual histories. I was disappointed by one camper who described a sexual encounter he claimed he once had as a freshman at a “small midwestern university”, recognizing it as “Lesbian Gymnast All-Nighter” from the Sept. 1977 Penthouse Forum (page 87, contd. page 188) of which I have but a passing recollection. Our group facilitator, Dr. Phylicia Warburton, seemed to not recognize the obvious act of plagiarism, but in a gesture of solidarity with my fellow camper (or as the medical literature describes us: “uncontrollable cockmonsters”), I did not call attention to his theft which would have only brought him more shame.
As it is Tuesday, dinner this evening was tacos (Taco Tuesday!) which led to an unfortunate incident where several campers ate their tacos in an “inappropriate manner”. Despite their protestations that their aberrant taco gobbling was a “cultural thing”, they were sent to bed early without their rice pudding cups. There but for the grace of God, go I.
Wednesday, Aug. 7 – Day Three
Today we went for a nature hike because “clean air cleans out the mind”. Once again several campers were discovered fondling themselves in their bunks at reveille and our foray into the great wide open was delayed as each “self-violater” was fitted with a remote-controlled shocking genital cuff (Boner-B-Gone™). The hike was invigorating and fairly uneventful if one discounts the disruptions to our bird watching endeavors as some of the birds were scared away by the shrieks of the cuffed campers who espied beckoning knotholes in some of the trees which had not been properly filled in by camp maintenance. Dinner was pizza (slices cut into squares for obvious reasons) and Hostess Snowballs which were probably a mistake. Six more more campers are slated for “cuffing” in the morning.
Thursday, Aug. 8 – Day Four
We met again in the Sharing Lodge where Dr. Warburton explained to us that women are not merely disposable sex toys composed of firm breasts topped with pert nipples, long lean legs that go on forever, and “an ass that a guy could could get lost in”. She explained that women were human beings worthy of respect and honor and dignity and some other stuff that I wasn’t really paying attention to because I was thinking about the breasts and the nipples and the legs and then when Dr. Warnburton called me out for not paying attention I felt ashamed. This is progress! Feeling that I had to make it up to her after the session, I complimented her on having a pretty nice ass for a seventy year-old woman.
With my mind occupied with the thought of my scheduled genital cuffing tomorrow morning at 7AM I was not able to fully appreciate this evenings Enchilada Frito Pie dinner.
MORE camp news::
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2013/07/27/the-camp-journal-of-bobby-f-an-odyssey-of-knowledge-redemption/
= new reply since forum marked as read
Is missing the daily briefings and the...deposition....
This reporter is laughing her ass off though.
