A serious question

[DainBramaged]

[Jackpine Radical]

1. I think maybe

I'd quick find some friends to take out for dinner instead. Makes for a better celebration.

[Drale]

2. I'd see if I could bounce some rocks off their heads before they sank. /nt

[Marie Marie]

7. Hope your aim is good.

[snappyturtle]

3. I think I'd just fast. nt

[Gravitycollapse]

4. First, I'd watch them drown and then I'd go make a Salmon BLT.

[rug]

5. Corned beef and schadenfreude on rye. Hold the mustard.

[DreamGypsy]

6. I have two musical responses to the question.

First, I don't recall Rummy or Big Dick* ever touted as blues musicians, so Steve Goodman's answer seemed to be apply equally to each:

Second, the final verses of Dylan's Masters of War seemed an appropriate activity -

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death’ll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I’ll watch while you’re lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I’ll stand o’er your grave
’Til I’m sure that you’re dead

...and once certain that nothing is stirring below ground, I'd take a leak on the graves, then go downtown and have a muffaletta:





(*) ...in reference to Big Dick Cheney Man and a blues connection, I actually did find an article DICK CHENEY'S FOLSOM PRISON BLUES, but I suspect the story is a tad satirical and that the song was ghostwritten - you be the judge.

Vice President Dick "Buckshot" Cheney kept his word to the inmates at California's maximum security Folsom State Prison. He played a one hour set with his band "Dickie and The Trigger Happy Birdie Killers". The set received a luke warm reception until Cheney launched into his new, as yet unreleased, single "Go Fuck Yourself". During the guitar solo the Vice President thrilled the assembled audience by producing a rifle and opening fire. "He seems angry. Very angry" one inmate said "I mean, I always thought that the American people didn't like to vote for angry people but ... Man, that dude is angry!" I managed to obtain a tape of the performance and am proud to present it here....

The lyrics:

Hello, I’m Dick Cheney !

I hear old Harry coming,
He’s comin ‘round the bend
I been killin’ little birdies --
Oops! I shot my friend.

Now I’m stuck in Corpus Christi,
Just trying to cover up.
Hold my calls for 18 hours
Go fuck yourself --
Bottoms up!

When I was just a baby
My mama told me son,
“Get plenty of deferments,
But learn to shoot a gun,”
So I shot a man in Texas --
It looks like he’ll survive.
Well there’s no need to call the sheriff
Go fuck yourself. Goodbye.

I’m up with rich folks flyin’
In a fancy private plane.
Get me Scott McClellan,
Let’s start deflecting blame.
We can pin it all on Harry,
Say he stepped out of line.
Whaddaya mean he had a heart attack?
Go fuck yourself – he’s fine!

Hey, go fuck yourself!
Hey you! Go fuck yourself!
Yeah you, over there! Go fuck yourself!

Well, if they freed me from the rule of law,
If the whole damn world was mine,
I would wiretap the planet,
Invade countries all the time,
Give Halliburton everything,
Leak secret shit all day.
I’d let my 28 guage shotgun
Blow my blues away.

Ah, go fuck yourselves!

[snappyturtle]

9. That is so funny....thanks! nt

[Hoyt]

8. Take a nap.

[The Straight Story]

10. No sammich. But I would pour some rum, have a smoke, grab a chair and watch