Vatican will nix your time in purgatory if you follow Pope on Twitter

[kpete]

Vatican will nix your time in purgatory if you follow Pope on Twitter
7/16/2013 8:57pm by John Aravosis 5 Comments


The Vatican announced that Catholics wipe out their entire expected time in purgatory by following the Pope on Twitter, among other “social media” ways of expunging their sinful souls.

According to the Italian paper, Corriere della Sera, in order for Catholics to earn years off of their time in purgatory, they must either attend the upcoming Rio World Youth Day in person, or follow the event on Twitter or any other method online.

In the Corriere’s English edition they note that buried in the decree is the following fine print:

The faithful who are legitimately impeded (from attending the event - Ed.])can obtain the plenary indulgence if ...they follow these same rites and pious exercises ...always with appropriate devotion, by the new means of social communication”.

more:
http://www.corriere.it/english/13_luglio_16/plenary-indulgence_137ab582-ee17-11e2-98d0-98ca66d4264e.shtml
http://americablog.com/2013/07/twitter-purgatory-plenary-indulgence-te.html
wait till I tell my mom...
no more Hail Marys

peace, kp

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Isn't this kind of like selling indulgences?

Like what got Martin Luther all wrapped around the axles awhile back?

[msanthrope]

3. Beat me to it....nt

[backscatter712]

26. I imagine all the world's Protestants are chuckling right now... n/t

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

29. Martin Luther is like, "Aw, not this shit again!"

Or, "Ach, nicht diese Scheisse wieder!"

[johnp3907]

2. Following the Pope on Twitter IS purgatory.

[Nye Bevan]

4. That does it. I'm going to tweet 95 theses to the Vatican (nt)

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. I'm going to nail my iPhone to the door.

[mokawanis]

22. LMAO

That line really has me laughing.

[pinboy3niner]

5. I will follow him...

[Gidney N Cloyd]

7. I was counting on Purgatory to keep out of hell a while longer.

[BainsBane]

8. Bullshit

This has to be a satire piece because that is not how it works.

[Nye Bevan]

11. Years ago I remember anyone watching the Pope's Easter Blessing on TV would get a full indulgence.

And then when VCRs came along the Vatican actually issued a clarification that only those watching the Blessing live would get the indulgence. Recording it and watching it later would not erase your accumulated purgatory time.

You really can't make this stuff up.

[BainsBane]

14. I don't believe it

Surely it can't be than stupidly transparent.

[Nye Bevan]

16. Here:

Occasions for imparting the blessing

The blessing is given each Easter and Christmas in Rome from the central loggia of Saint Peter's Basilica, at noontime. Part of the urbi et orbi blessing is the remission of all temporal punishment due to sin through a plenary indulgence attached to the Papal blessing.

The blessings at Christmas and Easter are broadcast throughout the world by the European Broadcasting Union. The indulgence and remission of venial sins is not only granted to the people in Saint Peter's Square but also to Catholics watching the ceremony on television and listening on radio.[1] Before this blessing the Pope gives an address to the crowd and to the world, with seasonal greetings in many of the major world languages.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urbi_et_Orbi

Media mediated Blessing
Joee Blogs asked whether he could get the Apostolic Blessing via my YouTube clip. Unfortunately not. There is a special provision for the Urbi et Orbi blessing on Easter Sunday. You can receive that blessing and indeed the plenary indulgence by watching it on television or listening to it on the radio - live, not recorded. (If I'm wrong on any of this, canonists please feel free to correct me.)[/i

http://the-hermeneutic-of-continuity.blogspot.com/2006/10/media-mediated-blessing.html

So the indulgence for watching on TV is certain. The second link is only a blog, I know, but the actual rules from the Vatican website are very long and appear to be in Latin.

[BainsBane]

21. So if a serial killer watches Easter mass on TV?

He's good, all set for heaven? Or are his sins mortal?

[petronius]

28. Not exactly: it seems that the indulgence deals with remaining temporal punishment

after the sins have been forgiven. So the serial killer would be facing hellfire no matter what he watched on TV, as long as had not been absolved. But if he had repented and been forgiven, the wholesome TV viewing might help him with what I can only imagine would be a pretty lengthy visit to Purgatory...

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church, in the section on Penance and Reconciliation:

The punishments of sin

1472 To understand this doctrine and practice of the Church, it is necessary to understand that sin has a double consequence. Grave sin deprives us of communion with God and therefore makes us incapable of eternal life, the privation of which is called the "eternal punishment" of sin. On the other hand every sin, even venial, entails an unhealthy attachment to creatures, which must be purified either here on earth, or after death in the state called Purgatory. This purification frees one from what is called the "temporal punishment" of sin. These two punishments must not be conceived of as a kind of vengeance inflicted by God from without, but as following from the very nature of sin. A conversion which proceeds from a fervent charity can attain the complete purification of the sinner in such a way that no punishment would remain.83

1473 The forgiveness of sin and restoration of communion with God entail the remission of the eternal punishment of sin, but temporal punishment of sin remains. While patiently bearing sufferings and trials of all kinds and, when the day comes, serenely facing death, the Christian must strive to accept this temporal punishment of sin as a grace. He should strive by works of mercy and charity, as well as by prayer and the various practices of penance, to put off completely the "old man" and to put on the "new man."84

http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P4G.HTM

[LeftyMom]

9. Damn it, now my aunt is going to want me to install Twitter on her Jitterbug.

[longship]

10. PZ Myers: "What? Indulgences are still a thing?"

Here's the link from Pharyngula Blog:
http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2013/07/16/what-indulgences-are-still-a-thing/

Everytime I get a peek into the weird world of Catholicism, it gets stranger and stranger. I had heard before that the Vatican was still offering “indulgences”, token recognition of piety that give you time off in purgatory, but I had no idea that they were going to make it technology driven — a medieval idea given a 21st century facade. But here they go, the Vatican has a new way to get time off in purgatory: follow the Pope on twitter!

All you have to do is follow the Pope’s 140 character tweets as he presides over Catholic World Youth Day in Rio de Janeiro, and presto, indulgences! No word on the exchange rate — is it like one tweet is worth one day off, or 140 seconds, or something? Does retweeting give you a special bonus?
If you thought Catholicism couldn’t possibly get more trivial or silly, I think they’ve just about hit rock bottom.

Oh, wait…
"What really counts is that the tweets the Pope sends from Brazil or the photos of the Catholic World Youth Day that go up on Pinterest produce authentic spiritual fruit in the hearts of everyone," said Celli.

Pinterest, too?

Could we also get spiritual credit if we set up a Pope porn tumblr?

As usual, PZ hits the ball out of the park.

More: hypertext links within text at link.

[Apophis]

12. I don't remember reading about that in the bible.

Hell, I don't ever remember reading about purgatory in the bible.

[Pterodactyl]

25. Not everything is in the bible.

As I understand it, the trinity is never explicitly spelled out, even though that is a basic belief for many Christians. Also, the transposition of the Sabbath to Sunday is not explicit (and some denominations even keep it as Saturday, as it was for the Jews).

For Catholics, the bible is one of the main sources of God's influence, but not the only one. Another is the church teaching, which is passed on from Jesus to the apostles to the modern priesthood.

[cynatnite]

13. Whew! That's a relief. n/t

[RedCappedBandit]

15. Jokes on them. There is no purgatory.

[mitchtv]

18. Limbo has been closed ,also

just the two big "H's" . They say

[mitchtv]

17. Plenary indulgences

get while they're cheap/ I think I have a few left over from parochial school,How many times do you have to log in?

[markiv]

19. poll: What would Jesus drive? A Crown Vic, or an Impalla?

and why?

I've always wondered about this question

[markiv]

20. follow me on twitter.....or else

that's a new wrinkle

[Mz Pip]

23. Seems to be trivializing sin

I spent years in Catholic school. Back then sin was taken seriously. You had to pray away your time in purgatory. Now all you have to do is follow the Pope's tweets?

I find this bizarre.

[t16hilos]

24. We should be getting a tweet from Martin Luther any minute now (nt)

[cprise]

27. Desperate for Twitter cred

...and all they have to resort to is their own stupidity.