General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsFor all my fellow oldsters at DU - have a good laugh!!
Is Romance Dead?
A middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones. The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend. She texted:
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.
The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:
I'm on the toilet. Please advise.
spanone
(135,859 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)Bwaaaaaaaah hahahahahahha
bigtree
(86,005 posts)cliffordu
(30,994 posts)cliffordu
(30,994 posts)I finally understood.....after the flush, that the honeymoon period was over.
malaise
(269,157 posts)Le Taz Hot
(22,271 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)calimary
(81,435 posts)Last edited Tue Jul 9, 2013, 02:51 PM - Edit history (1)
when I get out of the bathroom...
olddots
(10,237 posts)a bowel movement is a celebration .
Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)Triana
(22,666 posts)They are full of shite
Little Star
(17,055 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)That sounds like something my husband would text.
Pretzel_Warrior
(8,361 posts)snooper2
(30,151 posts)How to go over the 160 character limit
malaise
(269,157 posts)It's apocryphal
azurnoir
(45,850 posts)he sent her some sh^t
malaise
(269,157 posts)he asked for advice - he knew better
JDPriestly
(57,936 posts)LeftofObama
(4,243 posts)panader0
(25,816 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)WillyT
(72,631 posts)southernyankeebelle
(11,304 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)happyslug
(14,779 posts)My father participated in the 1970 Postal Strike. The Main strike was in New York City, but my Father was in Pittsburgh. During the Union Meeting held in Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Hall a motion was made to go on Strike. The President of the Pittsburgh Local then said, they can NOT go on Strike for that would means he would go to Jail. My Father rose from the Flow and Said "And that is why we pay you for" and carried the motion.
A week later another election was held to continue the Strike. The President made a motion to send the ballots home instead of doing it in the Meeting. My Father knew he had the votes to continue the Strike, but that if the Ballots went home, the Letter Carriers wives would put pressure on their husbands to vote to end the Strike. Thus the Vote to send the ballots to the Carrier's Homes instead of at the meeting was the real vote to continue the Strike or not. When the Motion was carried, My father, then 51 and another Carrier, age 55 walked out in protest. The local Newspaper reported the incident the next day and commented on the "Two young Radicals" who walked out of the Meeting. Thus you can NOT be Middle age till while after you are 55 for the Newspaper would only report actual facts not opinion.
malaise
(269,157 posts)Nice story.
midnight
(26,624 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)with the response
midnight
(26,624 posts)chknltl
(10,558 posts)Well sending turd blossoms might be a bit of overkill.
malaise
(269,157 posts)heaven05
(18,124 posts)funny. I did laugh out very loud. Cats scattered.
malaise
(269,157 posts)L0oniX
(31,493 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)Skraxx
(2,981 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)wendylaroux
(2,925 posts)jtuck004
(15,882 posts)Jessy169
(602 posts)Still, very funny!
nolabear
(41,990 posts)Bet you wouldn't send that
asjr
(10,479 posts)I still have not mastered it!
I keep it real simple
sheshe2
(83,855 posts)If it's yellow let it mellow~
If it's brown, flush it down!
Thanks for the laugh!!!!
malaise~
malaise
(269,157 posts)sheshe2
(83,855 posts)My parents brought us up green~
Don't waste the well water unless you're having a brown out~
Spitfire of ATJ
(32,723 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)JHB
(37,161 posts)Your garden can have the rest.
malaise
(269,157 posts)awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)Guess she stole it too -and so did I
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)riverbendviewgal
(4,253 posts)that always makes me laugh out loud...every time I read it.
malaise
(269,157 posts)loudsue
(14,087 posts)Too funny!
Tyrs WolfDaemon
(2,289 posts)This is followed by sharing their Urination Celebration.
Now if you are in a public restroom, preferably with many people you do not know around, and you have large gaseous explosions, always remember to call out in a loud voice...
Fire Torpedo One!
Fire Torpedo Two!
and so forth such that in the end you can declare your victory with the celebration mentioned above.
malaise
(269,157 posts)Aerows
(39,961 posts)That was hilarious!
SalmonChantedEvening
(31,952 posts)Thank you, malaise!
malaise
(269,157 posts)Nice to see you
lark
(23,147 posts)I really needed this, it lightened my dreary day at work.