Microsoft Windows vs. Ford Motor Co.

[Omaha Steve]

Last edited Tue Jul 2, 2013, 08:33 AM - Edit history (1)

Edit: This e-mail of humor is older than dirt.


For those of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the wonderful way computers have enhanced our lives,......read on.


At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated;

"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we could all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments,......Ford issued this press release;

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft has, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason what-so-ever, your car would crash,...sometimes several times a day.

2.. Every time road workers repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could even continue, and for some reason, you just simply accept this.

4.... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5..... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would cost 3 times as much and would run on only five percent of the main roads.

6...... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.


7....... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before actually deploying.

8........ Occasionally, for no reason at all, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you lifted the door handle, turned the key back and forth twice, and grabbed the radio antenna,.....all at the same time.

9......... Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the new car controls would operate in the same way as they did in the old car.

10.......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add, when all else fails, you would call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign accent,.... how to fix the car yourself!

Please share this with friends and family who love AND hate,.......a computer!

[Initech]

1. This sounds like a chain e-mail - there's a lot of this that's incorrect.

5..... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would cost 3 times as much and would run on only five percent of the main roads.

Don't they mean Apple Computer? There's no company called "Macintosh".

[baldguy]

8. This thing is 30yrs old.

[Initech]

10. I was going to say Ford uses that Sync system.

[dipsydoodle]

2. I've seen that before but for some reason or other

I think its even funnier now.

[randome]

3. #7 and #10! LOL!

[hr]
[font color="blue"][center]I'm always right. When I'm wrong I admit it.
So then I'm right about being wrong.[/center][/font]
[hr]

[Mnpaul]

6. #10 is reality

On cars with a start button, you shut them off by pressing the start button. #6 is close to reality as well(check engine light).

[Atman]

4. It's ancient, and it's fake.

But it's still quite clever.

[FreeJoe]

5. Ironic

Windows has taken away the start button in version 8 and with many new cas, you do push the start button to turn off the engine.

[madokie]

7. Too funny, thanks

[MindPilot]

9. Yes, it can get worse: My Ford is "powered by Windows"

In my hybrid the Sync system that runs sound, Bluetooth, etc is Windows-based.

[bike man]

11. Actually, this is as false now as it was in 1999. Snopes link in msg block

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.asp

[Omaha Steve]

12. It was meant as humor

I now know why we don't have a joke group.

[Violet_Crumble]

13. There is a Humour group at DU...

Why don't you try posting it there? http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1198

Or in the Lounge?

[bike man]

15. Odd that mine was the only one to get a response, even though it was *not* the

only one to point out that the OP is fake, and old.

The OP was presented as though it was an original piece of work.

And there is a humor group

[Omaha Steve]

16. Please share this with friends and family who love AND hate,.......a computer!

Sounds like original work?

Several LOL's.

I'm picking on you?

The DU is less and less DU and turning into FU.

OS

[bike man]

18. It obviously was NOT an original piece of work, but by leaving out a disclaimer of

some sort such as 'this was in my in box' or 'someone sent me this and it's cute', etc., it appeared the OP was claiming it.

Where does it appear you are picking on anyone?

[Omaha Steve]

19. I'm sorry

Because so may DUers know my habits, I'm sorry I made a post without a disclaimer. Second time I've said this in just the last week or so. Of the 36,000's plus posts I've made, only a few ever needed an explanation. Sorry. MY bad.

OS

[Omaha Steve]

17. Maybe it was because after several pointed out...

It was old you posted a link and pissed somebody off. I edited the OP.

IF we can't have fun from time to time in GD the way we have for years, it is time for another old timer to "move on"

Follow that? It is no secret this DUer hasn't been a happy camper for several months on the DU.

OS

[Raine]

14. LOL! :-) nt