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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWhy did Trayvon's friend (who is a girl) feel guilty about his death?
Watching her today, and by her own words, she felt some sort of guilt about Trayvon's death. She said it was because she was the last to speak with him. She said that was also the reason she didn't go to his wake/funeral, and why she lied about why she didn't go.
Here's what I think (aren't you glad you asked?):
When Trayvon told her on the phone that this "creepy" guy was watching him and following him, she (probably jokingly) told Trayvon that he'd better run because that guy was probably a rapist. Of course, she really probably was joking and wasn't worried.
But later when she found out what happened, I wonder if she thought that maybe her telling him that freaked him out and got in his head and *maybe* resulted in a more vigorous confrontation than otherwise would have happened?
I know if I were her, that's what I would be thinking. Regardless of what actually happened, that's what I would be feeling guilty about.
Gravitycollapse
(8,155 posts)Duer 157099
(17,742 posts)I'm not on the jury, I can voice my opinion based on my own experience.
Response to Gravitycollapse (Reply #1)
quinnox This message was self-deleted by its author.
VanillaRhapsody
(21,115 posts)because she would have faced his parents and she was the last one to speak to Trayvon....so she felt guilty for not going....so she lied about "why" she wasn't going. She is just a young girl dealing with this traumatic event after all.
Marrah_G
(28,581 posts)She probably wishes she kept him on the phone or talked him into running home or any number of things running through her head. Her friend was murdered moments after she spoke to him, now she is stuck in the middle of this craziness, having to testify in front of the world, having a defense attorney portray her as an uncaring liar. She is a kid stuck in a situation not of her making, that she has zero control over.
bluestate10
(10,942 posts)by getting help. Or she may have thought, as you mentioned, that Martin was overly sensitive to having a stranger following him.
Duer 157099
(17,742 posts)I am just relating to a situation like, where you are walking somewhere in the dark, maybe a graveyard is nearby, and you don't think twice about UNTIL your friend asks if you believe in ghosts or something like that, and suddenly your imagination goes wild and you freak out. Like that.
I'm just imagining what each of them were experiencing, that's all.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)mis-spoke ... mis-identified the emotion ...
Duer 157099
(17,742 posts)I believe it was guilt. Survivor's guilt, for whatever reason. I know what it feels like.
Poll_Blind
(23,864 posts)...calling me long distance to babble incoherently while doing so, I'm going to go with "The grieving process is a very complex and unpredictable thing. The loss of a friend or a loved one is always traumatic and there often no easy or accurate external interpretations of the grieving process."
Your explanation makes sense...for someone who's trying to piece things together from media reports or video. But the reality is almost certainly far more subtle and organic....and it may be entirely possible that the young lady, herself, is not entirely sure of where her feelings spring from.
PB
Duer 157099
(17,742 posts)Hatchling
(2,323 posts)LittleBlue
(10,362 posts)when there is a tragic death, even if it doesn't make any sense. Everyone asks what they could have done differently.
HipChick
(25,485 posts)It been years now...I still ask myself could I have done more...
I never made it to her bedside, my flight landed 1hr after she passed..
Duer 157099
(17,742 posts)So wrong I can't even begin to describe.
rustydog
(9,186 posts)You'd have to ask her.
Duer 157099
(17,742 posts)In court, I would never conjecture thusly
JI7
(89,259 posts)while others died even though it was not their fault in any way and they could not have done anything to prevent the deaths of others.
in this case it's her having talked to him . she may know in her head there is nothing she could have done but her heart is still hurting.
XemaSab
(60,212 posts)There are kids her age in Oakland who have been to dozens of funerals.
I can get not wanting to go to another one.
magical thyme
(14,881 posts)likely wondering if she could have done more, that if she'd done something different maybe it would have played out differently, sense of helplessness, not going to the funeral and then feeling guilty about that.
It doesn't have to be some specific thing, and there is no point in speculating over it. It is totally understandable and normal.
ecstatic
(32,720 posts)Look up the stages of Grief and the emotions associated with it.
"I wonder if she thought that maybe her telling him that freaked him out and got in his head and *maybe* resulted in a more vigorous confrontation than otherwise would have happened? "
Uh, not likely. If she feels guilty, it's more likely because the frivolous conversation they had distracted Trayvon from realizing the enormity of the threat Killerman posed. If Trayvon were paying more attention to his surroundings, he might have been able to defend himself better or at least call the police.