George W. Bush Having Trouble Finding Decent Cocaine Since Leaving White House

[madinmaryland]

CRAWFORD, TX—Citing his dramatically reduced level of influence and his separation from old acquaintances in Washington, former president George W. Bush complained Monday that he has had trouble finding decent cocaine since leaving office in 2009. “I had some real good hookups in D.C., but the shit down here is just terrible,” Bush said from his ranch in Crawford, TX, noting that while he could previously count on the White House kitchen staff or top aides for the good stuff, he now has to drive half an hour to Waco and waste his money on “junk cut with Benzo.” “I just don’t get as high, you know? Sucks, because I could really use some good coke right now. It’s commencement season, and God knows how many speeches I’m gonna have to get through.” Bush added that while he’s disappointed with the powder in Texas, he has to admit the whiskey and pot are “fantastic.”

http://www.theonion.com/articles/george-w-bush-having-trouble-finding-decent-cocain,32608/

Too Funny!!

[Ilsa]

1. I knew it was fake because it said

he was at his ranch in Crawford. Everyone knows that was a PR prop.

[longship]

2. Yup! All filmed on the Universal back lot.

Right around the corner from where the Apollo Moon landings were filmed (in front of a rather large matte painting).

[Incitatus]

3. Yes, bought in 1999 and he moved to Dallas after his presidency.

Total PR BS.

I just noticed I can't find a single picture of W. on a horse. That's strange for him owning a ranch and being such a Texas cowboy.

[Maynar]

5. I seem to recall he's afraid of horses.

Can't remember specifics offhand, but I think that is the case.

[maddiemom]

6. Will Farrell did a hilarious skit on this (Dubya vs horse) back when he was on SNL.

If you can find it, it's a classic!

[Ilsa]

9. I recall there was an

old mare on the property for picture-taking. Dumbya was never shown close to it. The rumor is that he's afraid of horses.

Instead of a horse, they put him in a pickup truck.

[demmiblue]

10. Well, to be fair, he did try to milk one!

[Heywood J]

8. I knew it was fake because it said

benzo. It hasn't been that benign in years.

http://www.toronto.ca/health/sexualhealth/levamisole.htm
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/flesh-eating-cocaine-laced-veterinary-drug-levamisole/story?id=13902353
http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/cocaine/cocaine_article2.shtml

[Spitfire of ATJ]

4. Who can forget this?

[Cali_Democrat]

7. LOL