Hopefully someone can answer my question

[Drale]

My girlfriends dad's mom (she doesn't think of her as her grandmother because she's a terrible women, who hates her because her parents never got married) is destroying my girlfriends dads life. He lives with her and takes care of her because that's the kind of guy he is but she either can't do a lot of things physically like take herself to the bathroom, or she refuses to. She's refused to allow they to hire anyone to come in and help and she refuses to move into a home. She's trying to force her son to go on FMLA leave from work to take care of her but he doesn't want to and can't really afford to. His brother is trying to help but he works 70 hours a week and doesn't have a lot and time and his sister could careless. My question is is there anything legally that can be done to either force her into a assisted living home or force her to allow someone to come in and help take care of her? My girlfriend is really upset because she never gets to see her dad and this women is such a bitch and hates her.

[rdharma]

1. Contact your state's Dept. on Aging

It would actually be best if your girlfriend's father contacted them for their advice and assistance.

[Nay]

2. What your girlfriend's dad is going through is not unusual. I agree with the above poster that

getting the state agency on aging, or something similar, involved. With them involved, g's dad can disentangle himself by moving out (I assume the house is the mom's?), getting a place of his own, and helping her after work. In NO situation should he stop working to help her full time; he will be destroyed financially.

With him out of the house, the agency on aging can get a good idea of how well gran can take care of herself. If she can't, then dad can get a power of attorney to do one of several things: hire help; sell house and use the money to put her in a home; etc.

Good luck to him.

[rdharma]

3. Your GF's father has got a rough road ahead.

Granny is probably going to fight him tooth and nail to retain her "independence". And it sounds like the other siblings are OK with your GF's father handling it all by himself.

On the Financial and Medical Powers of Attorney, I think your GF's father should get some advice from a lawyer on how to proceed there. I'm sure granny is not going to be real pleased about signing those.

GF's father is going to have to hang tough or Granny is going to take him right down with her. I wish him all the best of luck.