Charles Pierce in Esquire: What the Self-Manufacturing of Romney Hath Produced

[highplainsdem]

http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/mitt-romney-cpac-2012-6654290

The transformation is now complete. Willard Romney, my former governor, the man who campaigned here for the Senate and lost, and who campaigned for governor here and won, has fashioned himself into the most carefully manufactured fake in the recent history of American politics. I used to call him the Piltdown Man of American politics — a candidate fashioned from a jawbone picked up here and a shinbone picked up there and whatever position on whatever issue he happened to find at hand at the time — but that may no longer be sufficient to explain him. After all, and even though it took more than 40 years, eventually they busted the Piltdown Man as a hoax. Willard's transformation, from what he was here in Massachusetts, to what he is now, is so full and thorough that he has successfully constructed an entirely new Willard for himself. Of course, they had to hurry him off the assembly line because of the urgency injected into the race by the stunning (if remarkably delegate-free) triple play pulled off on Tuesday by Rick Santorum, who has never taken a breath in which he was not the authentically wingy wingnut that Willard has labored so hard to make of himself. Just this week, for example, in addressing the phony controversy that erupted over the Catholic Church and birth control, Santorum went long on the crazy:

-snip-

So onto the stage came Willard, humanizing his more cyborg tendencies by talking about his grandfather on his mother's side, and by talking about the hard road taken by his father, former Michigan governor George Romney — who, it should be noted, would not have had three votes in that entire roo. Then, he started talking about his "path to conservatism."

(A brief detour to the reality of things here: In 2006, when Romney gave up on governing Massachusetts and began to take on the job of running for president, he knew there was videotape of him talking about his tolerance for gay people, and of his promises to protect a woman's right to choose. He calculated that he could hedge and alibi and otherwise lie his way around all of that, while maintaining a moderate image as the Republican With A Health Care Alternative. He lost in 2008 because people didn't believe him as far as they could throw him. Between 2008 and today, the party lost its mind on the subject of his health-care plan, which was appropriated by Barack Obama for the nation. Now he's had to tap-dance away from the signature achievement of his time in any public office. That is his "path to conservatism," and it doesn't have anything to do with his grandfather. He had the same kind of "path" towards conservatism that a greyhound at the track has toward the mechanical rabbit.)

-snip-

This was the final test drive today. Willard Romney will be whatever they want him to be, because he wants to be president more than he wants to be who he once was. He is unrecognizable politically to the people of Massachusetts who voted for him as their governor, thereby giving him his first real boost in running for president. He is now who he has fashioned himself to be. It is a stunning achievement of personal manufacture. He is what he has pretended to be. He's the old fairy tale in reverse. Pinocchio, you're a real wooden puppet now.

[hifiguy]

1. Charlie Pierce is one of my daily must-reads

and a brilliant, savage and incredibly funny writer.

[snagglepuss]

2. "He had the same kind of "path" towards conservatism that a greyhound at the track

track has toward the mechanical rabbit.)"

[barbtries]

3. great line

i almost ganked it myself

[ProSense]

4. Excellent! Still,

this:

Yes, Kathleen Sebelius, the Robespierre from Kansas. And I have mentioned recently that Santorum is sort of a dick?

[denem]

5. Which sort?

[customerserviceguy]

6. Great read

This guy dips his fountain pen in acid, he really zings Mittens. Hard.

[Surya Gayatri]

7. Excellent exposé...

"He is now who he has fashioned himself to be. It is a stunning achievement of personal manufacture. He is what he has pretended to be."

And this is why he's well on his way to losing the nomination. Even the knuckle-draggers on the right are savvy enough to know a fake when they see it.
SG

[bullwinkle428]

8. This is brilliantly spot-on.

K&R.