God commands DEATH for those who spill their seed outside of a woman's vagina

[Hugabear]

A reading from the Book of Genesis:

<snip>
Genesis 38:8-10 (NIV)
8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.”

9 But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother.

10 What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death also.
<snip>

Incest notwithstanding, the Bible clearly commands DEATH for a man who deposits his semen anywhere else than a woman's vagina!

DEATH TO MASTURBATORS

[icymist]

1. Is that you Master Bates?

I thought we clearly had that problem solved where you would dress up like your mother and run around with kitchen knives. So now you have decided to take your neurosis to a new level and mix in the Bible as well? I suggest you take the red pill and call my office first thing in the morning.

[KansDem]

2. In the words of W.C. Fields...

"Death, where is thy sting?"

[Dreamer Tatum]

3. Can I just get a slap on the wrist if it's just um, NEAR the vagina? nt

[russspeakeasy]

4. I always enjoy reading The Onion.

on the other hand, Onan was an idiot. Judah wasn't too fuckin sharp either.

[Cleita]

5. That wasn't what it was about at all. Since Bible thumpers seem to not know

the context of biblical stories, they make up their own. Back then taking your brother's wife as yours when he died was essential to the survival of the tribe, which was in fact a big extended family. In those days of plenty of clan warfare, it was important to have might in numbers especially young men, who could be warriors. It was also necessary for the women of the tribe to have as many sons as she could. Since there was a shortage of men due to warfare, the brother-in-law of a young widow, especially if she had not borne sons yet, was duty bound to get her pregnant and keep it in the family. Spilling his seed was not because all semen was sacred, it was that he wasn't doing his duty of impregnating his sister-in-law so his brother's legacy could live on while having relations with her.

[FiveGoodMen]

9. Yes, but killing him was a bit of an over-reaction on God's part, wasn't it?

[Cleita]

15. For those people, their God was a Father who was a harsh disciplinarian.

That's the way it was in the ancient world. Look at what Zeus did?

[Hugabear]

17. Yep...God sent a couple of bears to rip some kids to shreds for making fun of one of his prophets

Then again, the Old Testament specifically calls for the death penalty for disobedient children...

[FiveGoodMen]

18. Pretty ridiculous for people to keep believing that now, though.

Your post pointed out a real misunderstanding of the motivations behind that particular rule, but it doesn't alter the fact that modern-day grownups should know better than to follow such crap.

[TBF]

19. Modern day grownups shoot laptops and post video of it on Facebook in their spare time ...

there is no shortage of stupidity whether we are talking about ancient times or today.

[FiveGoodMen]

25. Yes, and that's why we're in such trouble.

PS: When I say grownup, I'm not just refering to those who've been breathing for a certain number of years.

[riderinthestorm]

29. Yeah, well, Deuteronomy 21: 18 - 21 indicates the disobedient child should be stoned to death.

So shooting the laptop is pretty tame in comparison....

[Igel]

28. Pehaps.

He showed callous disregard for his brother's family and essentially guaranteed they'd be homeless. Why? So that he and *his* family would gain the land and property.

This is greed and selfishness and shows a willingness to sacrifice family for one's own balance sheet.

The result would be that his brother's wife and any other women associated with the household would be homeless and at the beck and call of those who would stand to gain from their homelessness. Meanwhile, there was a social code that stipulated that families help each other--there being no government safety net, if a brother wouldn't look out for his brother's family, if clan members wouldn't look out for each other, the social network would break down.

Not only was Onan a greedy selfish uncaring bastard, he was essentially committing treason against the dominant social unit at the time, his own kin.

To see this requires being able to understand another culture and cause and effect.

[riderinthestorm]

32. Uh, you know the bible is a mythological set of stories right?

Taking Onan's story and trying to use it as any kind of cultural example is pretty damn useless. If this is Gawd's holy word, let's just dump the entire culture that subjects women to forced sex with their brother in law for starters. Gawd setting this culture up to be a patriarchal "brotherhood" where the men are the only masters in such a culture is fucked up....

I thought the whole thread was kind of a tongue and cheek thing myself.

[Kurmudgeon]

37. Oh, really? I suppose you think the Jews are mythical too? Probably so....forget I asked.

[Hugabear]

12. Let's not get bogged down in the details

Your first sentence is the key factor.

This is what fundies do - they'll find a verse in the Bible that suits their needs, even if they have to take it out of context, and then use that to browbeat everyone around them.

[Kurmudgeon]

38. Fundies aren't the only ones..

[ldf]

33. what it originally meant is irrelevant

the question is how can it be used now, by those who currently want to outlaw contraception?

sex should only be allowed between husband and wife (note that there is only ONE penis, and ONE vagina in that arrangement, and to be honest, only the penis has to be "in the mood", since the vagina MUST do her wifely duty), and every act of sex will be celebrated, hopefully in the result of offspring (not that big of a deal for the penis, but a much tougher role for the vagina.....?).

AND EVERYONE MUST be a virgin upon marriage. once married, sex only with spouse, released only by death, at which point abstinence must be practiced, until married again.

otherwise, if you never remarry you must never have sex again.

these yahoos want to copyright, trademark and OWN the act of sex.

and if we guys have a wet dream, we must leap up and chop off the offending organ, rather than risk the chance of offending god.

luckily god LIKES high, squeeky voices... (assuming one seeks to please god by being thorough, and also chopping off the seed makers....)

can you possibly imagine what it would be like if we ALL were Duggars, literally multiplying like rabbits, how the entire planet would be eyeball deep in the worst plague the planet has ever experienced.... HUMANS?

god would certainly be happy. and that is all that counts.

[Kurmudgeon]

36. Spot on, except you kind of missed the point that he defied God to His Face.

I'm sure that comment will set off a ton of comments from religion haters, but considering how small the tribe of Israel was at the time, that blood line was wanted up and until the point where it became obvious that Onan was going to be defiant.
Defiance isn't good in any organization under threat, whether it is an army or a people.
Oh, and to the silly poster, death was only for Onan, who was given a direct command from God to a member of His Chosen People.
Your bloodline just isn't that important, so you can continue jacking or whatever it is you do without much fear except perhaps, chafing.

[justiceischeap]

39. The point is still, how would it apply now?

I'm glad you're using context and all... that's my biggest pet peeve with bible thumpers (the one's who use the bible to tell people that everything they do is wrong), they take everything out of context and misinterpret it as well. Without context, you really cannot interpret the bible correctly. Plus, there's also the historical aspect. Things were done differently 2000 years ago than they are now. Having babies isn't as important now because we're not going to have to worry about populating the earth ever again.

[Kurmudgeon]

40. The only time I hear Onan brought up is in reference to masturbation.

The problem comes when the original story is misinterpreted into an onus on masturbation, instead of taken in the context that we just discussed. Context is always problem, both discussing The Bible as well as other books and topics.
I hope we never have to populate the earth again. Big job for those who get to do it, too bad for everyone else!

[Warren DeMontague]

45. "I hope we never have to populate the Earth again"... You mean, like the Cambrian Explosion?

[Warren DeMontague]

43. "Stop Touching Yourself, Kent"

"It IS God!"

[RZM]

6. This is going to make gardening real awkward n/t

[Fuzz]

7. I have wiped entire civilizations off of my chest, with a grey gym sock.

Entire nations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel.

I have tossed universes, in my underpants, while napping.

Bill Hicks

[joshcryer]

22. WTF

That was beautiful.

[Redstate Bluegirl]

8. Wow

A lot of threads with word "vagina" in titles lol.

[monmouth]

11. I'm getting the friggin' vapors...sigh. After all these years..n/t

[MichiganVote]

10. Uh, sorry, but every Catholic boy born on or before 1951

knows that you go blind. No exceptions.

So sayth Sister Mary Dyonisius

[FarCenter]

13. Isn't it OK if it goes on the sheets, and not on the ground?

[Fuzz]

23. What about the hair, a martini glass or salvation army buckets?

[FarCenter]

24. Should be OK -- "on the ground" seems to be the critical phrase

[Hugabear]

30. Salvation Army buckets? Damned that's kinky.

And also a pretty disturbing mental image.

[kestrel91316]

14. Also, death to men who "pull out".

[w8liftinglady]

16. Thank you for that insight.

I believe oral sex WOULD fall under the definition of cannibalism....Burn at the stake!

[JoePhilly]

20. Or, did the Lord put him to death for disobeying an order??

If you read closely, God to him to raise up offspring for his brother. Onan refused to do so. And the Lord killed him for disobeying that order.

Its not about "pulling out" or "spilling semen on the ground" ... it is about disobeying a DIRECT order from God.

The right wing nuts focus on the semen and not on the command.

Either way it is silly, but if they want to use this passage, they fail anyway.

[FiveGoodMen]

26. I don't think that having them re-focus on obeying godly orders would make things any better

Some of the things their god orders them to do...

[JoePhilly]

34. Oh yes ... my point is that they can't even get the "order" correct.

[pokerfan]

21. Whenever I go salmon fishing

I always win up having to put the herring on everyone's hooks for them because (wait for it) I'm the master baiter!

[Progression]

27. There goes the neighborhood

If that were true, how much of the male population would suddenly drop dead right now? Doesn't look good for humanity!

[11 Bravo]

31. Shit! There goes the species!

[Iterate]

35. It's blastphemy

[Rex]

41. Dam

[Warren DeMontague]

42. And the LORD doth spaketh, let not thine SANTORUM drip upon thye fetid grounde

lest ye be yon Republicon nomynee, which actually would be sort of funny.

[Willsmith]

44. God commands DEATH for those who spill their seed outside of a woman's vagina

Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages. Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves. The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved."

[jmowreader]

46. Ever Read Tony Hendra's Book of Onan?

http://notthebible.8m.com/b4.htm

[LetTimmySmoke]

47. If God's command were real, I'd be dead many times over.