Church calls for ‘fertility checks’ before allowing straight marriage

[dipsydoodle]

The Church of England has sought to clarify its objection to gay marriage, claiming that ‘marriage should be all about procreation’.

But in order to appear fair the church will now carry out some basic fertility checks, before deigning to allow straight people to marry.

“Marriage isn’t about love, social acceptance or respecting fellow human beings”, claimed Archbishop Welby.

“It’s about knocking out a christian baby as soon as possible.”

Women well into their 50s will no longer be allowed to marry in a church, and neither will men of any age who have undergone ‘the snip’.

http://newsthump.com/2013/06/04/church-calls-for-fertility-checks-before-allowing-straight-marriage/

[raccoon]

1. For everyone's info, this site is about UK spoof and satire. nt

[lunasun]

3. Thanks I have read about 2-3 articles on DU in the last few days and been punked

wish it would say so somewhere in the OPs...

[rurallib]

8. The problem is that the ludicrous sounds like it could be real

So hard to tell truth from fiction these days.

[sakabatou]

14. Thanks

[LuvNewcastle]

2. Cute article

If churches really cared so much about procreation, they wouldn't marry people who are too old to conceive.

[Laelth]

4. While this may be a spoof, there's a legal history behind it.

When Mrs. Laelth and I applied for a marriage license, we had to undergo blood work to (supposedly) prove fertility prior to getting the license. That was some time ago, and the state legislature has abolished this requirement, but people have long wanted to marry in order to produce legitimate children, and the state felt that you had the right to know whether your intended spouse was fertile before getting married.

I make no moral or ethical judgment on the law in this post. I merely wanted to point out that such laws were once commonplace.

-Laelth

[Fumesucker]

5. How do you determine fertility from a blood test?

I did not think that was possible.

[Laelth]

9. It's not, really, but when the law was passed the legislature didn't know that.

So they did the best they could with what they knew at the time.

-Laelth

[REP]

6. The test is to check for venereal disease and rubella, not fertility

Fertility cannot be determined by a blood test.

[Laelth]

10. Indeed. Please see post #9, above. n/t

-Laelth

[Yo_Mama]

11. That would have been for syphilis

Not fertility. Every state used to require that.

[Laelth]

12. Perhaps I was misinformed when we applied.

Perhaps the clerk I asked didn't really know and told me something to get me off her back. Hard to say, but it might make for an interesting research project.

-Laelth

[Yo_Mama]

13. It's because syphilis can infect babies in the womb

The reason the law was passed was to prevent injury to prospective children. Those laws date back to the 1930s, I believe:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1144/what-is-the-purpose-of-premarital-blood-testing

[ismnotwasm]

7. Fooled me!

It's a sad state of affairs when you automatically think this could be real...