LOL - Charles Pierce: The New Rights of Paul Ryan, CPAC's Public Intellectual

[highplainsdem]

http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/paul-ryan-cpac-speech-2012-6654099

WASHINGTON — Make no mistake. You can have your Bachmanns and your Cains. You can have your Coulters and your Malkins and — what the hell — your Breitbarts. You can certainly have your Marco Rubios, who gained 100 CPAC points for making the conference's first teleprompter joke, though there may be several more amongst the murmuring when Willard Romney takes the stage here this afternoon. You can even have your your Santorums and your Ron Pauls. But that zombie-eyed granny-starver Paul Ryan is the wonk every wingnut woman wants and every wingnut man wants to be. He thinks Serious Thoughts about The Big Issues Facing The Nation, and they truly dig him the most. If Ayn Rand, that randy old crackpot, were still alive, she'd whack him over the head, stuff him in a sack, and drag him off to her apartment, where they would make hot Objectivist monkey-love until the rafters knocked and the angels wept.

Paul Ryan is also a remarkably accomplished bullshit artist.

His speech on Thursday night was chock-full of the usual goodies: praise for the brave Republicans who voted for his "budget" last year, the one that would have eviscerated Medicare to the point where Newt Fking Gingrich called it "right-wing social engineering," and that was before Willard had driven Newt around the bend, and the budget that polled so dismally that other Republicans hid under their couches when Ryan walked down the corridor; a vision of Obamian dystopia while mourning the fact that Democrats had mean things to say about his zombie-eyed granny-starving, and a healthy dollop of a bright new world where the entrepreneurial ponies gambol through the fields, and "the only class warfare that threatens America comes from a class of bureaucrats and crony capitalists rising above society — calling the shots, rigging the rules, and securing their places of privilege at our expense."

And, of course, in Paul Ryan's world, government has no regulatory role in stopping this rigging of the rules and calling of the shots. At least that's what he tells the hedge-fund cowboys with whom he dines.

-snip-

[LongTomH]

1. Charles Pierce gets off some really good digs at the GOP

He scored several in this post. I particularly enjoyed this one:

All of that is basically zombie-eyed granny-starving boilerplate, but there was one passage in the speech that was such an amazing outburst of incoherence that the only explanation for it is that it was badly translated from the original Klingon.

"Badly translated from the original Klingon."

[highplainsdem]

2. Loved that, too. And the "zombie-eyed granny-starver" label for Ryan.