* * * DUzy Awards: Week ending May 31, 2013 * * *

[The DUzy Awards]

Last edited Sun Jun 2, 2013, 01:34 AM - Edit history (1)

[center] Welcome to the DUzy Awards! Containing the words 'Pit Bull' and 'Gun' two weeks running... counting 'Brad Pitt' in the first week, there's a chance that we've been auto-trashed three weeks in a row!



To nominate a post for a DUzy, simply reply to the post with "DUzy"
somewhere in your response, and I'll do a search;

if you want to make sure I notice it, PM a link to "The DUzy Awards."

DUzy winners are noted in [font color=#800080]purple;[/font]
Editorial comments by me are in [font color=#FF0000] red italics. [/font]

[font color=blue][center]Special thanks to:

Aerows, Arugula Latte, BainsBane, billh58, Botany, CaliforniaPeggy, Callmecrazy, cliffordu, CrazyOrangeCat, cyberswede, Dragonfli, Enrique, flamingdem, GoneOffShore, HappyMe, JaneyVee, JimDandy, KamaAina, L0oniX, longship, love_katz, LWolf, maddezmom, malaise, meow2u3, msanthrope, NoPasaran, tavalon, and winter is coming

for their invaluable assistance with this edition.[/center][/font]

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by ProdigalJunkMail

Welcome to Pit Bull Underground

[font color=black] where you can love 'em or hate 'em, but you damn sure have to post every friggin' article supporting YOUR position thus proving the 'others' wrong!

sP

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] [div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by SoCalDem

[font color=black] Damn you !!!!

I put every permutation of the word "pittbull"..capped, hyphenated, misspelled on my "hide by keyword" trash can option....and your post (and others) still show up..



It still hides the "gun" word though
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] [div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by NutmegYankee

[font color=black] I just want to see a pciture of a pit bull holding a gun.

Then DU will be complete
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] [div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 5 by JeffHead

[font color=black] You asked for it.


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] [div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 12 by LostOne4Ever

[font color=black] Bow Before your Bulldog Overlords!

There is no escape. Trust me I have looked.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] [div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 15 by ProdigalJunkMail

[font color=black] or they'll tear your face off

or lick you to death or something awful like that.

sP
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] [div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 19 by LostOne4Ever

[font color=black] Worse!

They will attack you with bunnies!




Some of which will troll you!




[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by ohiosmith

I don't get behind a lot of posts in GD! This is an exception: "We Need 3 Major Parties"

[font color=black] Damn straight! And multiple mid-size and smaller ones every month!


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by rug

Man threatens to blow up state building's misspelled sign

http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/3ENdjPlfsiS5biOQ1Zxv7Q--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTMxMA--/



[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center][div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by KurtNYC

[font color=black] He was taken to a criminal pschologist who comforted him by saying:

"There, their, they're...."
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] [div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by Wait Wut

[font color=black] Whenever we drive to California...

...we have to pass through 'Hope, Arizona'. They have a sign as you're leaving town:

Your Now Beyond Hope

The husband starts giggling about a mile before we get to the sign because he knows I'm about to have a meltdown. Even better? The old sign was falling apart, so they replaced it...and didn't change it.



[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by niyad

okay, because we need a laugh?? heard this tonight from an unimpeachable source (ie, one of

[font color=black] the people drinking at our "end of festival" pot luck)

"women become lesbians when they eat too many eggs". on that note, dear friends, bon nuit.

(edited to note: I was assured that "drunken friend at party" is a reliable source of information, should you also encounter such)

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by DJ13

[font color=black] What happens when the men eat too many sausages?

They fart.

(Get your mind out of the gutter!)
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 15 by scarletwoman

[font color=black] I've been wracking my brain...

The best I can come up with is that when you crack two eggs into a frying pan, they can sorta look like a pair of tatas...
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 23 by mercuryblues

[font color=black] but what

happens when you put some link sausage in the frying pan? Does it neutralize the lesbian eggs?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 26 by onethatcares
[font color=black] hard boiled or over easy?

just wondrin
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 28 by scarletwoman
[font color=black] Over easy makes you a lesbian trollop, obviously.

Hard boiled makes you a lesbian detective.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 17 by PDJane

[font color=black] On the door of a stall in the women's washroom in Swiss Chalet on Yonge St.

(It's no longer there). "MY MOTHER MADE ME A LESBIAN" Written underneath; "If I buy her the yarn, can she make me one too?"

It makes more sense..........

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by Sunlei

Dirty lettuce photo gets 3 Burger King workers fired

CBS/AP) MAYFIELD HEIGHTS, Ohio - Burger King says three workers were fired after a photo posted online appeared to show an employee stepping on lettuce in bins at a northwest Ohio restaurant.

The company says it won't tolerate such violations of its strict procedures for safely handling food.

It didn't comment on the circumstances in which the photo was taken. News outlets say the picture was posted on the free-for-all website 4chan.org, and GPS data embedded in the photo led to the restaurant.

A screenshot obtained by CBS Cleveland affiliate WOIO shows how the computer-savvy sleuths -- who call themselves "anons," tracked down the restaurant's location.

story and picture here- http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57475840/dirty-lettuce-photo-gets-3-burger-king-workers-fired/#addcomm

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 7 by Orrex

[font color=black] You're right. Lettuce not dwell on the past.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 9 by Dash87

[font color=black] I better put my foot down and leaf this thread alone
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 15 by Orrex

[font color=black] It's important not to lose your head while you're at it.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 16 by Dash87

[font color=black] You're right. I ought to romaine impartial

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by The Straight Story

Scientists uncover frozen mammoth, blood flows out

A Siberian expedition finds a well-preserved woolly mammoth. When scientists investigate, blood comes running out, lending hope to an ambitious cloning project.

When it comes to cloning extinct critters, it seems most people are holding out more hope for re-creating woolly mammoths than building "Jurassic Park." The researchers involved in a mammoth-rebuilding project are probably pretty excited about a recent find by Russian scientists who uncovered a fairly fresh new mammoth.

A paleontological expedition from the Research Institute of Applied Ecology of the North, North-Eastern Federal University, and the Russian Geographical Society discovered a female mammoth in a remarkably good state of preservation in the Novosibirsk archipelago in Siberia. North-Eastern Federal University has partnered with controversial South Korean cloning scientist Hwang Woo-Suk (who was found to have faked data involving a procedure to clone human embryonic stem cells) for a mammoth-cloning effort.

"The fragments of muscle tissues, which we've found out of the body, have a natural red color of fresh meat," says expedition leader Semyon Grigoriev. "The reason for such preservation is that the lower part of the body was underlying in pure ice, and the upper part was found in the middle of tundra."

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-57586638-1/scientists-uncover-frozen-mammoth-blood-flows-out/

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by randome

[font color=black] Here come the clones!


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by FSogol

[center][font color=black] Dibs on the first mammoth-assisted childbirth!

Dolphin-assisted childbirth: Yes, it's a thing now
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 10 by TrollBuster9090

[font color=black] "I wonder if we've still got those old cloning machines in the basement."

All we'd need is a female elephant...
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 11 by RoccoR5955

[font color=black] Michelle Bachmann is "retiring."

There's your female elephant!
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 13 by Brainstormy

[font color=black] A long walk from the ark to Siberia

isn't it? Or did the mammoths come AFTER Noah and all that? I went to a public school and was deprived of creation science.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by malaise

OK we know there are investigations re Bachmann's finances

but was she a leaker as well??

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by Atman

[font color=black] Well, incontinence is not unusual in women her age.


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 17 by Blue Owl

[font color=black] True, she is a pampered figure

n/t

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by Hissyspit

BREAKING: Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann Says She Will Not Run for Re-Election in 2014

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 46 by Botany

[font color=black] Not running because the POTUS only serves 8 years and it had nothing to do w/any investigsation?



She really is batcrap crazy.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 49 by Mr Samuel Hain

[font color=black] Speaking of which...

Word out of Austin TX this morning is that the city's famous bat population is refusing en masse to defecate, in a show of solidarity with the Congresswoman.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 95 by Fantastic Anarchist

[font color=black] But then how is she going to impeach Obama?


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 110 by SmittynMo

[font color=black] One down. Sooooo many more to go n/t

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by ashling

Michele Bachmann in tough spot; plan your popcorn needs accordingly

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/05/28/1212213/-Michele-Bachmann-in-tough-spot-plan-your-popcorn-needs-accordingly

Michele Bachmann has gone from presidential "contender" (yeah, we're just gonna put some quotes around that one) to being in serious jeopardy of losing even her current House seat. That's not entirely surprising, of course: Even though she's in a deep-red district, she's been nearly booted a few times, and her recent race against Democrat Jim Graves turned out to be a squeaker. Then there's her presidential campaign being investigated by the FEC and FBI. Oh, and the bit where she keeps saying crackpot things and being a general embarrassment to her own party.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 4 by kimbutgar

[font color=black] She'll have foreign policy cred from her upcoming trip to Russia

As a member of the house foreign committee (why John bonner!). I hopes she doesn't embarrass us or incite a war with her stupid comments.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 6 by pinboy3niner

[font color=black] She could save money by just going to Sarah Palin's house



[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by Are_grits_groceries

Bachmann and Palin are going to team up:




[font color=black] Heh!

Get all kinds of teh crazy in one place.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by JHB

[font color=black] Bachmann-Palin Overdrive

Takin' care of business
(On teevee)
Takin' care of business
(It's about ME!)
Takin' care of business
(Don' cha know?)
Takin' care of business
(And always pushing guano)

Griftin'

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by Playinghardball

Which one do you want to buy?



[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 8 by bluedigger

[font color=black] Depends.

At the rate I'm going, I'll need adult diapers before I need condoms again.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by UTUSN

"EVERYBODY tells me, 'Please run for president. Please run for president.' " (TRUMP.)

*************QUOTE*************

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/trump_researching_run_YO6Qa9F3xQLS1UmLzQkKdJ

Trump researching 2016 run

Donald Trump has spent more than $1 million on electoral research for a potential presidential run in 2016.

Sources said the tough-talking “Celebrity Apprentice” host is increasingly being asked to speak at Republican events, and he appeared at the Oakland County Republican Party Lincoln Day Dinner in Novi, Mich., last week to a record crowd of 2,300.

“Everybody tells me, ‘Please run for president. Please run for president.’ I would be much happier if a great and competent person came along,” Trump reportedly told attendees. “I’d be happy if President Obama did a great job. I’m a Republican, but before anything, I love this country. I would love to see somebody come in who is going to be great.” ....

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 6 by temporary311

[font color=black] Are they telling him because they want him to win,

or because they think his campaign would be hilarious?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 37 by LongTomH

[font color=black] Ding, Ding, Ding! We have a winner!

Probably they're all Democrats!!!!!
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 21 by MrScorpio

[font color=black] He probably knows a lot of stand up comedians...

Of course, THEY would all tell him to run.

Not to mention editorial cartoonists, TV and radio pundits, people who would buy the assets he'd sell off for quick cash, other people who want to run and would look good next to him by comparison, people with a sick sense of humor, people who want the Republicans to lose badly, the voices inside of his head, the people who make his hair pieces, circus geeks...

Whatever.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 23 by Segami

[font color=black] Please run Chump,....and make your hair your running mate!

My money is on the hamburger!


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 36 by Octafish

[font color=black] Run moth-like caterpillar hair-do! Run!



We love you. Not just for your money. You're humor.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by kpete

Oh Oh, this pic is going to get them both in trouble....



http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-250_162-57586460/obama-urges-good-times-at-the-jersey-shore/

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by arely staircase

[font color=black] how did it turn out

awkward white guy high five?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 18 by pipoman

[font color=black] Nah, Barack pulled his hand back and smoothed his hair at the last second,

so it was an awkward white guy standing there with his hand in the air..
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 24 by sfpcjock

[font color=black] I'm worried. Christie has lost like half an Obama already..



[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by Tx4obama

Obama: Washington can still be 'fixed'

Obama: Washington can still be ‘fixed’

Chicago (CNN) - Speaking at a political fundraiser, President Barack Obama promised Wednesday to work tirelessly to convince the American people that Democrats’ ideas are the right ones.

But at the same time, he attempted to strike a bipartisan tone, acknowledging that while Washington may appear broken, “it can be fixed.”

“We’ve got everything that we need to succeed,” the president said at the fundraiser for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. “But the one thing that’s still missing is a politics that matches up with the decency and the hard work and determination and creativity of the American people. We’ve got a politics that’s stuck right now.”

Vowing to work with all Republicans who “don’t think compromise is a dirty word,” Obama said that the task facing all politicians is to create a government that’s befitting the next generation of Americans.

“The generation coming behind us, I mean they are spectacular,” the president said.

-snip-

Full article here: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2013/05/29/obama-washington-can-still-be-fixed/

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 4 by pscot

[font color=black] He's right. Cut off the Republicans balls

and their behavior will improve right away.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by babylonsister

"Rest in peace, The Onion. You will be missed."



http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/05/27/1211908/-The-Onion-Calls-it-Quits

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 14 by scarletwoman

[font color=black] They're shutting down due to the leek investigations.

[font color=#FF0000] (Fear not... The Onion isn't going anywhere.) [/font]


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by The Straight Story

JCPenney Billboard Promotes Tea Kettle That Looks Like Hitler

A JCPenney billboard promoting an exclusive Michael Graves-designed tea kettle has been turning the heads of motorists driving along the 405 near Culver City.

Not so much for the teapot's "cool-touch handle" or its "space-saving design" but for its uncanny resemblance to Adolf Hitler.

The odd coincidence was first noticed by Reddit, where users were quick to wonder if this was truly just an odd coincidence.

"There's no way that wasn't done on purpose!" exclaimed Redditor mattaukamp. "Well, look at us - we're all looking at and sharing a picture of an advertisement," responded Redditor LevTolstoy. "If it was done on purpose to get people's attention, but keep the ability to deny doing it on purpose, it's brilliant."

http://gawker.com/jcpenney-billboard-promotes-tea-kettle-that-looks-like-510086791?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_facebook&utm_source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow



[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 8 by eShirl

[font color=black] maybe it looks like Charlie Chaplin


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 15 by Cirque du So-What

[font color=black] I'm a little teapot

Eastern front
watch me pull my Blitzkrieg stunt
all the annexed nations will bear the brunt
'cause I'm a worthless little...dictator
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 32 by El Fuego

[font color=black] First pressure cooker bombs, now we're being menaced by Hitler teapots.

I'm afraid to go in the kitchen!

"Terminator IV: Rise of the Housewares"

[font color=#FF0000] At first I was like, What?? But the longer you look at it... lol [/font]


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by HiPointDem

Japanese company develops technology to mass-produce 'spider silk' fabric (non-oil based)

Spiber Inc. of Tsuruoka, Yamagata Prefecture, demonstrated one application of its technology by displaying a dress made of the synthetic spider silk fabric on May 24 at Roppongi Hills in Tokyo.

Spider silk is four times stronger than steel and more elastic than nylon. However, it has been difficult to artificially raise spiders in the manner of silkworms because spiders tend to be highly territorial, and in some species, the female eats its male partner after mating.

Spiber Inc. was able to synthesize genes to allow simple microorganisms to produce the same proteins created by spiders in spinning their silk. Those genes were inserted into bacteria and cultivated to manufacture the protein. The company also developed technology to weave that protein into fabric form, making possible the mass-production of synthetic spider silk fabric.

The fabric is called "QMONOS," read "kumonosu" or spider web.

"This fabric can be used in various industries, such as automobiles and medicine," said Kazuhide Sekiyama, Spiber president. "It is a major first step toward a manufacturing process that does not depend on petroleum.



http://ajw.asahi.com/article/economy/technology/AJ201305250027

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by lob1

[font color=black] Beautiful dress, except flies stick to it.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by ashling

Where's that chalk I put in the glove compartment?



[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by Hissyspit

PHOTO: Weather Channel's Storm Chaser Mike Bettes' SUV Thrown


@SeanSchoferTVN: The @weatherchannel vehicle just got thrown 200 yards by tornado. We stopped to help & they are OK. @jimcantore http://t.co/AayAhvuBwA

Reports are they were scraped up some, but o.k.

Bettes: "What we were trying to do was get away from it."

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 4 by BlueJazz

[font color=black] His car says: Tornado Hunt 2013 ! I believe it found one.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by MrScorpio

For the headline writer, it was an opportunity of a lifetime...



[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by Nimajneb Nilknarf

[font color=black] It doesn't often get much better than that, but it does once in a while.

Crack found between suspect's buttocks
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 4 by TlalocW

[font color=black] They have more fun in England


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mrGcEvCfTXU/UXJ2FzwTa8I/AAAAAAABJ4c/0GEsX7UQqBo/s1600/Is+this+the+rail+price.jpg
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 13 by Buzz Clik

[font color=black] The flow of traffic across the mess left the asphalt pitted.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 14 by kentauros

[font color=black] I hope the person responsible is canned.
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 15 by demwing

[font color=black] Those cars are really sandwiched together

and that truck is TOAST

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by Renew Deal

Anyone take defensive driving online?

Last edited Tue May 28, 2013, 10:25 PM USA/ET - Edit history (1)

My state offers it, but I've never taken it before. Is it easy to do? Does it take 6 hours like the classroom version? Did you get credit with DMV?

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by olddots

[font color=black] " I've beer taken it before " ?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by Renew Deal

[font color=black] Damn autocorrect
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by struggle4progress

[font color=black] Did you get a ticket for getting on the internet without looking to see if anyone was already there?

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black]On an OP by jakeXT

Diet soda erodes teeth as much as meth, crack: Case study

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by railsback

[font color=black] Already gave sodas up

I wasn't winning anything on MyCokeRewards anyways

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by Xyzse

Prancercise: I could not stop laughing

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/05/exercise-youre-doing-it-wrong/276395/?google_editors_picks=true

http://www.amazon.com/Prancercise-The-Physical-Spiritual-Excellence/dp/159594690X/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369922076&sr=1-1-fkmr1&keywords=rohrbach+prancercise

[font color=black] The comments are funny too.

Find your inner horsie...

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by graywarrior

[font color=black] I whinneyed and ate some oats...burp
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 16 by Yavin4

[font color=black] It's funny until Ann Romney sees you and slaps a saddle on your back

and enters you in the Olympics.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by undergroundpanther

shit foam and exploding barns

When you hear about foam in the context of food, you might think of the culinary innovations of the Spanish chef Ferran Adrià, who's famous for dishes like apple caviar with banana foam.

But this post is about a much less appetizing kind of foam. You see, starting in about 2009, in the pits that capture manure under factory-scale hog farms, a gray, bubbly substance began appearing at the surface of the fecal soup. The problem is menacing: As manure breaks down, it emits toxic gases like hydrogen sulfide and flammable ones like methane, and trapping these noxious fumes under a layer of foam can lead to sudden, disastrous releases and even explosions.

http://www.motherjones.com/tom-philpott/2013/05/menace-manure-foam-still-haunting-huge-hog-farms

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 1 by pinboy3niner

[font color=black] Oh sure, blame it on...

...moi.


[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 2 by Buns_of_Fire

[font color=black] Shit foam, jiggling and pulsating...

Where's Steven McQueen ("The Blob&quot when we need him?
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 16 by n2doc

[font color=black] I thought you were talking about Rush Limbaugh n/t
[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 17 by Blue Owl

[font color=black] Next time I see a teabagger foaming at the mouth...

I'll keep this thread in mind.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by trumad

Zimmerman's lawyer said that pot has been known for aggressive behavior.

Snarf--- what---fighting over a Little Debbie?

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 23 by Rex

[font color=black] Yes, stoned couch potatoes have been known to

have violent outbursts of slap fight over a misallocated bag of gummy bears. These fights usually last 3 or less seconds as can be heard the war screams of, 'come on man!' and 'you stop!'.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by steve2470

Fight erupts between parents at kindergarten graduation

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57587076/fight-erupts-between-parents-at-kindergarten-graduation/

Cleveland police say they've made eight arrests after a brawl broke out at a kindergarten graduation.

Police say a fight between two teen girls Friday morning spread among adults and other teens in the crowd.

No one was seriously injured.

Police told CBS affiliate WOIO that the suspects will be charged with inciting a riot.

*end of excerpt*

SMDH !

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 3 by muntrv

[font color=black] I hope the teen girls weren't the ones graduating.

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=black] On an OP by Dash87

America as a punishment and revenge society.

We are a violent society because, at the core, we embrace violence and vengeance. It's only natural that our society and military would continue these norms. How can we ever be a peaceful society when we act like such hypocrites, embracing violence and vengeance as if this is the only true form of justice?

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 25 by dawg

[font color=black] We should find out who is responsible for making our culture like this ...

and make them pay!!!

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by Playinghardball

A recent startling discovery...the mysteries are finally explained!



[font color=black] Shouldn't this put the Washington monument right about...

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] [center] Reply 8 by awoke_in_2003

[font color=black] Well, I have always thought the Washington Monument...

was a phallic symbol telling the world "we are going to fuck you"

[div class="excerpt" style=background:#AFEEEE] [center] [font color=#800080] OP by Kali

hahahahhahaa!



[font color=#FF0000] (Recognition is the first step!) [/font]

[Arugula Latte]

1. Another great job!

Hilarious week!

[Flying Squirrel]

22. tyvm

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Ah... most definitely worth waiting for!

Thank you thank you thank you!

[Flying Squirrel]

23. My Dear CaliforniaPeggy

You are most welcome!

[Sekhmets Daughter]

3. Fantastic!

Thanks! Hope everyone is feeling better at your house.

[Flying Squirrel]

21. thanks -

My girlfriend is better but now I'm getting sick. nothing toooo serious tho.

[scarletwoman]

4. Well done!

Last edited Sun Jun 2, 2013, 08:35 PM - Edit history (1)

And I'm not just saying that because I won two three! DUzys this week!

[Flying Squirrel]

24. You can't help it, you're

Just naturally funny.

[scarletwoman]

31. Aw shucks, thanks. I just have my moments now and then.

But I am sorry that my other post in the Lesbian Egg thread got passed over.

The set up: hard boiled or over easy?

My reply:

Over easy makes you a lesbian trollop, obviously.

Hard boiled makes you a lesbian detective.

*rim shot*

[Flying Squirrel]

32. Ya I liked that too

But sometimes less is more..either that, or I was just too lazy to include more comments!

[scarletwoman]

33. That's okay.

I have to admit that I was kinda disappointed when no one noticed it when I posted it in the original thread. So I was just waiting for a flimsy excuse to post it again in this DUzy thread!

[The DUzy Awards]

34. Hehehe I bet they did...

Just for you, I'll add it in after the fact (I normally wouldn't do that but I had already been really close to adding that in anyway so it really should count as a DUzy!)

[scarletwoman]

41. Wow, man! I honestly did not expect that! So, thank you!

Now I've gotta work on being funny for next week.

[Warren DeMontague]

5. Cool!

[LeftofObama]

6. I must have missed the post about the spider silk fabric,

but this reply made me spit out my Pepsi...

Reply 1 by lob1

Beautiful dress, except flies stick to it.

[scarletwoman]

7. I missed the thread, too. That reply is a classic!

[Bobbie Jo]

10. I lol'ed.

Classic DU'zy.

[siligut]

8. All the funny stuff in one place, thank you Flying Squirrel

[Flying Squirrel]

25. You're welcome!

[GoneOffShore]

9. Wonderful! Thanks again!

[Flying Squirrel]

26. You're welcome!

[BainsBane]

11. Fantastic job, Flying Squirrel

I'd seen very few of those!

[Flying Squirrel]

27. tyvm

And thanks for the help spotting them!

[longship]

12. Please keep those DUzys coming.

Or, at least breathing hard.

[scarletwoman]

13. !

[pacalo]

14. "Prancercize" isn't doable without the right accessory...

[awoke_in_2003]

15. Oh wow, I won a DUzy...

You like me, you really like me

[Flying Squirrel]

28. :)

Excellent contribution!

[Demeter]

16. Thank you. I feel a lot better. I may live to see tomorrow!

What have you got for tomorrow, by the way?

[scarletwoman]

18. For tomorrow, the rest of us!

[nolabear]

17. Thanks! I miss so much good stuff. Good to have the recap.

[Flying Squirrel]

29. You're welcome!

[aquart]

19. Spectacular!

And if these delights hadn't been gathered here for their DUzys, I would have missed every one of them. THANK YOU!

[Flying Squirrel]

30. You're welcome..

It's a pleasure doing them.

[surrealAmerican]

20. k & r

[The DUzy Awards]

35. Thanks :)

til next week!

[tavalon]

36. Today a contributor

Soon, a winner. I know it will happen eventually!

[Flying Squirrel]

37. Yep!

Everyone has a shot, DU has some very intelligent and funny members

[tavalon]

38. I'm intelligent and a smart ass

One of these days someone is going to mistake my snark for funny and voila!

Thank you so much for bringing these back.

[Flying Squirrel]

39. DUzy ;)

And you're welcome!

[ohiosmith]

40. Many thanks!

[The DUzy Awards]

44. Hehehe thanks for the penguin post last week... still gigglin'

[mercuryblues]

42. Thank you

for including me. I am no longer a DUzy virgin. As always this is the best thread of the week.

[The DUzy Awards]

45. Aw thanks :)

[JHB]

43. Made the DUzies! Hot'cha!

[The DUzy Awards]

46. griftin'

got a big grin out of that one.

[El Fuego]

47. This is so cool!!

You made my week! Thanks for including me!!

[Flying Squirrel]

48. :-)

Congrats!

[Number23]

49. This pic has got to be the funniest thing I've ever seen here

I am absolutely DYING.

[The DUzy Awards]

50. :D

Ya I loved that one.

[undergroundpanther]

51. my Shit foam thread got a duzy

Well it was not waste-d.

[lunasun]

52. Oh such DUzies Thank you for collecting and providing all the laughs in one big smush

[scarletwoman]

53. Monday morning kick - for those who missed the DUzys over the weekend.

[HappyMe]

54. k&r

[justiceischeap]

55. Thanks to the DUzy's, I found the Prancercise thread.

Needed a good laugh this morning.