Caribou sex, the Alaskan oil pipeline and Republicans...

[Little Star]

The Washington Post
By Emily Heil
02/07/2012

Louie Gohmert: Best caribou wingman ever

Rep. Louie Gohmert, patron saint of amorous wildlife? The Texas Republican, who’s not exactly known as a champion of animal rights, said his primary concern in the development of a massive Alaskan oil pipeline is the love life of the caribous surrounding the project.

Gohmert launched into a lecture during a meeting of the House Natural Resources committee meeting last week about the need to protect the poor caribou. But here’s the catch — the evil force against which he wants to defend the creatures is the halting of the flow of oil through the pipeline. That, he says, would be akin to throwing cold water on what sounds like a randy spring-break party happening around Alaska’s caribou population.

It seems that Gohmert is also something of an expert on animal husbandry. Here’s his theory: The caribou very much enjoy the warmth the pipeline radiates. “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline,” he informed his colleagues. It’s apparently the equivalent of being wined and dined. And that has resulted in a tenfold caribou population boom, he concluded.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/in-the-loop/post/louie-gohmert-best-caribou-wingman-ever/2012/02/07/gIQAIj2dwQ_blog.html

[JHB]

1. So do his Texas constitutents approve...

...of his acquiring this expertise in caribou mating rituals in "service" to them?

Imagine the long, lonely hours he spent researching caribou aesthetics in order to verify the attractiveness of this large, warm tube to females of the species (Rangifer tarandus, in this case). And its use by males in wining, dining, and "flying the reindeer", so to speak.

I propose a series of town halls in his Texas district so that he can show his Texas Conservative constituents the depth of his knowledge on this issue of such import to them. Perhaps he can expand on its applications to more local livestock.



(maaaan, sorry for going there, but if anyone deserves it...)

[Little Star]

3. He is quite the fool!

[Submariner]

2. This dipstick is proof positive that politicians need to be drug tested

and take a mental competency exam before taking office. What a complete f*cking idiot.

[Little Star]

4. LOL. I agree!