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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWhy Are We Not Calling the Danny Brown Oral-Sex Assault ‘Rape’?
BLAMING THE VICTIMWhy Are We Not Calling the Danny Brown Oral-Sex Assault Rape?
9 HOURS AGO - BY AMANDA MARCOTTE
The gender roles may have been reversed, but the rappers oral sex sneak attack shares a lot in common with classic sexual assaults, says Amanda Marcotte.
The scene played out like so many sexual assaults do. Its a party atmosphere. The assailant takes advantage of the victims lowered guard and the general air of debauchery to force sexual contact on a nonconsenting person. After the attack, the apologists run in, denying that what happened counts as sexual assault and implying that the victim secretly wanted it. The victims erratic reactions are dissected endlessly to distract from the obvious: that sexual contact was forced on the victim against his will.
Were talking, of course, about Rapper Danny Brown, who was performing at a show when a female fan got on stage and sprung oral sex on him. He reportedly backed away quickly. Despite the fact that the victim in this case is male and his alleged assailant female, the story demonstrates how cultural norms, peer pressure, sexual shame, and gender roles all intersect to make it easy for sexual assailants to operate without much consequence. Kitty Pryde, who is currently touring with Brown, wrote an excellent piece for Vice expressing frustration at how most people dont seem to see what happened as an assault:
What is Danny supposed to do? The girl was at mouth-to-dick level already and to push her away, he would've had to either push her face or kick her, and even the most gentle of either motion would immediately be labeled abuse by anyone watching. Guys pushing girls is not a good look when people are taking photos. So what was Danny supposed to do, other than back away, which he did?
Pryde is spot on with her description of how a sexual assailant uses social pressures to subdue a victim. However, she makes one major mistake earlier in the article by suggesting that such a thing wouldnt have happened to a woman because theres a widespread understanding that nonconsensual sexual contact foisted on women is wrong. I wish she were right about that, but sadly, as the recent cases in Steubenville, Halifax, and Cleveland, Texas (amongst thousands upon thousands of others) show, plenty of men force sexual contact on women, often in full view of others, only to have a sea of supporters deny that it was rape.
full article
http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/05/09/why-are-we-not-calling-the-danny-brown-oral-sex-assault-rape.html
leftynyc
(26,060 posts)Maybe that's why.
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)The stress and trauma of reliving the incident and being interrogated about it is frequently a reason for this.
leftynyc
(26,060 posts)But the cops wont charge her without his statement saying he was raped.
Comrade Grumpy
(13,184 posts)eissa
(4,238 posts)he would say so. She gave him a blow job, he willingly accepted it. That sounds like two consenting adults to me. As someone else pointed out in a thread about this a while back, if it were a man who pulled down Brown's pants and tried to put his mouth on him, I'm sure Brown would have found a way to stop that.
MattBaggins
(7,904 posts)geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)of shit happened.'
Edited to add:
I don't think that implies acceptance of a sex act, but he's given no indication that he considered what happened to be any kind of violation.
Not up to us to tell him what he did or didn't want or experience.
eissa
(4,238 posts)When Kendrick Lamar tweeted him asking if it was true that he got a blow job on stage, Brown tweeted back "and didn't miss one bar bruh." He doesn't sound too traumatized. If/when he expresses any displeasure whatsoever over the occurrence, I will happily join him in seeking this woman's arrest. Until then, if two consenting adults engage in a sexual act, however vulgar it may appear, then that's what it is.
CBGLuthier
(12,723 posts)Society does not think that women can sexually abuse men.
If it happens it is laughed off. Every fucking time.
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)That doesn't mean, though, that it happened in this instance.
eissa
(4,238 posts)He did not feel he was assaulted. He has not issued a single complaint of any kind, in fact quite the opposite (a tweet he sent out -- and has since deleted -- indicated he enjoyed it.) As vulgar as the whole incident might be, we can't force him to say he was assaulted if he didn't think he was.
hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)Rex
(65,616 posts)So he was forced to have oral sex with her? He had no choice in the matter and could do nothing about it?
DonViejo
(60,536 posts)(that you posted) are answered therein.
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)There are conflicting reports about how much sexual contact he was engaging in with female fans during the concert, his tweet afterwards, etc.
And just how much oral sex could go on if he 'quickly backed away?'
Men have very good reflexes when it comes to unwelcome intrusions into the safety zone around that area.
If he considers it to have been sexual assault, he has not indicated so.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)The one exception being when the victim is underage.
I agree with the sentiment, this incident could very well be rape and I hope he speaks out one way or the other.
However it seems Amanda hasn't shaken off her Good Men Project leanings. This isn't the first time she's gone a little, er, overboard.
Someone else wrote a much better piece about this incident... can't remember where I saw it.
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)Brown: I just don't like when people - with the whole thing, I don't like the way people are, like, taking the tabloid-y approach to it. ... I mean, it's what happened. The biggest thing with me is that I don't like when people try and throw the age thing. You know what I'm saying? It was a fuckin' - I don't do all-ages shows for one thing. The girl was fuckin' 24 years old. I talked to her after the show was over with. You know what I'm saying? I don't like that they keep trying to throw in there that he maybe "did" an underage girl. That's not true, at all. And that's the only thing that really upset me about it.
NUVO: (I hem and haw while thinking about my next question.)
Brown: Don't get me wrong, I'm just keepin' it [honest] with you. I'm not like, proud of that shit that happened. I'm not running around, feeling like the man or some shit. I'm not happy. You know what I'm saying? I'm not happy that that shit happened. It happened - it was cool. Don't get me wrong. It was cool that that type of shit happened. I don't, like - if this was the '80s or something and we could just hear word of mouth, than that would be cool. But we live in a world where videos and pictures and everybody wants to do a fuckin' article trying to track down the girl, talking to the wrong girl, you know what I'm saying? That shit is not cool.
Obviously, victims do go into denial, but . . .
redqueen
(115,103 posts)I tried to 'play off' being roofied and raped when I was in my 20's. I felt ashamed of being stupid - I didn't know about roofies, thought I just drank too much and paid the price, blamed myself, so out of shame I pretended I wanted it and, like he says here, 'it was cool'.
There are reasons he might be trying to play this off. I won't label it for him. It wasn't my experience.
The conflict in this one comment makes me uneasy at best about assuming everything is 'cool'.
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)He seems bothered by the publicity/attention the incident has gotten.
ismnotwasm
(42,011 posts)I think his friend Kitty Pryde (i posted from her blog below). is a more honest about it; being male in the rap hyper-masculine culture, I think he's limited by what his responses are gong to be. He wasn't physically hurt, he probably got supportive props 'Yo dude tha girl was all up on the stage ready to do you man', as a male he's supposed to shrug off or even enjoy that kind of thing. NO MATTER how he actually felt.
Rape culture in action yet again.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)Thanks for posting it here.
I like Kitty Pryde
Wait Wut
(8,492 posts)"...But we live in a world where videos and pictures and everybody wants to do a fuckin' article trying to track down the girl, talking to the wrong girl, you know what I'm saying? That shit is not cool."
I get the impression that he's actually trying to protect the woman and any woman that might be misidentified. Not a fan of his, but I gotta say, this snippet of his interview was impressive. He seems to want the whole experience to just go away and everyone left alone.
Whether or not he 'enjoyed' it doesn't make it less of an assault. I remember years ago a story about a teenage boy that was raped by an older woman and I believe she became pregnant. Anyway, the majority of comments stated that it 'isn't rape if the guy gets off.' It was disgusting and had to have been devastating to the young man.
eissa
(4,238 posts)and definitely considered rape. The "getting off" part is just disgusting, and similar to those recent comments by Akins and his ilk about women not being able to get pregnant if raped (because "the juices" wouldn't flow :banghead
Sexual assault on men does occur and should be taken as seriously as any rape. However, I worry when we categorize assaults such as this as rape if the victim in this case does not feel he was assaulted.
Wait Wut
(8,492 posts)But, there are plenty of women out there that still blame themselves for 'unsolicited sexual encounters'. I think it could be even more confusing to a man with that whole 'it's not rape if I got off' crap.
It's up to him, though. I would suggest that woman get some counseling.
ismnotwasm
(42,011 posts)I usually don't cross-post from HoF, but while it doesn't answer the question, it points out exactly how a man could be sexually assaulted and feel helpless enough in front of a crowd. The fear of assault charges if he pushed her away, the fact that he is black and she was white only intensified the possibility.
(WARNING this contains offensive language)
It's obvious that the reason nobody cares is because a girl did it to a boy. I said this on my blog, but Ill say it again hereI had my pants ripped off onstage, and didnt know what to do either because being naked in front of 1000 people is incredibly scary and theres not much quick decision-making happening in your brain during that sort of thing. Now Im prepared to kick a motherfucker in the teeth if he touches me at all, and I equip myself with giant boots for that reason. What is Danny supposed to do? The girl was at mouth-to-dick level already and to push her away, he would've had to either pushed her face or kicked her, and even the most gentle of either motion would
immediately be labeled abuse by anyone watching. Guys pushing girls is not a good look when people are taking photos. So what was Danny supposed to do, other than back away, which he did? And if he had figured out a way to gently push the girl off him immediately without looking like he was smacking her in the face, hes faced with attacks on his masculinity by every douchebro in the building. Yo dude, you dont want your dick sucked, bro? Are you gay? Haha youre gay you dont want girls to suck your dick haha gay dude bro man swag! And thats a rappers literal nightmare.
http://noisey.vice.com/blog/my-thoughts-on-this-whole-danny-brown-oral-sex-thing
Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)aren't there stage security guards who quickly nab anyone dumb enough to get on stage? I'm guessing if it was a man instead of a hot girl climbing up there, he would have gotten apprehended before he even got both feet on stage...
obnoxiousdrunk
(2,910 posts)be scarred for life.
Enrique
(27,461 posts)i imagine the woman would have been arrested if someone had called the cops.
cbdo2007
(9,213 posts)not a bunch of random interweb surfers.
He says it is assault, then it is assault. He says it is rape, then it is rape.
Warpy
(111,339 posts)and does fall within the guidelines of "attempted rape."
However, he'd have to press charges. He probably doesn't want that kind of publicity and feels (rightly or wrongly) that she'll never do it again once she sobers up.
Let's hope not, let's hope he never regrets not pressing charges.
LittleBlue
(10,362 posts)That's what I read in an article, people asking why he kept singing. You wouldn't expect that sort of reaction to rape.
If he didn't mind it, then no crime I guess. Or at least no charges.
Ilsa
(61,698 posts)He should file criminal charges.
If I was his wife, I would insist that he file charges.