Something Just Happened*: The Absurdity of CNN

[xocet]

Last edited Fri Apr 19, 2013, 01:11 PM - Edit history (1)

Here is a piece of one of CNN's reports recast and separated from its distracting live video component. In this textual form, one may better see its dearth of content:

Something Just Happened*
"...something just happened...
...we don't know what it is...
...let me catch my breath...
...we don't know what it is...

...but we can tell you that...
...we smell smoke...
...there are people that are running to the center there...
...you've got cars going straight...
...you've got cars peeling to the right...
...whether they've cordoned off this block...
...whether they've squared off this block...
...we don't know...

...but we can see a helicopter that is up in the air...
...something has just happened...
...a couple of police officers are running...
...we've got a dog, a dog that's on its way...
...interesting...
...that dog is barking...
...whether that is a K9...
...we don't know, but...

...we can smell smoke...
...we can smell...
...umm...there...there's something in the air...
...it's now passed over to us...
...but something definitely...umm...went off...
...we don't know what it is...

...ok...so...now that you see what is going on around here..."


*Note that the above reportage is satirized by its recasting as a poem - thereby, its truly absurd nature is revealed. As a "news broadcast", it is to be seen here (http://www.mediaite.com/tv/cnn-reporter-on-the-scene-in-watertown-reports-interesting-that-dog-is-barking/) from 0:33 sec to 1:15 sec in the video. CNN LIVE: Boston 8:35 AM to 8:36 AM and Deborah Feyerick are to be credited with the original work of performance art.

[PatSeg]

1. That was very clever

CNN is a poor excuse for a news channel. Most of the time they look like a SNL spoof.

[liberal N proud]

2. They are in such a rush to beat FOX to the tubes with the latest that they forget substance

Media is a farce!

[dixiegrrrrl]

3. Reminds me of Rumsfeld press conference...

"We know where the WMDs are..they are toward the north, and the south, and around there a bit".
Paraphrased...his actual statement was even more bizarre than I could remember.

[Enrique]

6. "Takrit, Baghdad, north south east and west of there"

watch Ray McGovern remind Rummy what he said:

[dixiegrrrrl]

12. ahhh..thank you for that blast from the past....

[Enrique]

4. she's just trying to get on the Daily Show

"that dog is barking"

[gateley]

5. I heard one CNN guy in the wee hours of the morning who was making such

inane statements. He was stupid from lack of sleep. I was thinking Get the hook!

[Lint Head]

7. Something just happened? Something just happened? AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHh!

What happened? Wa wa wawaht? OMG! I'm scared.....

[KittyWampus]

8. have to recommend. It's sadly funny because it's sadly true.

[tularetom]

9. I doubt if CNN will be around in ten years

They've tried so hard to imitate Fox "News" that they more or less destroyed their credibility as a news outlet.

Meanwhile, the idiot demographic that they have attempted to lure away from Fox still thinks of them as part of the "mainstream media".

They have shit their own bed and didn't even see it happening.

[truebluegreen]

11. It's worse than that: the idiot demographic thinks of them as

the Communist News Network.

Those guys wouldn't recognize a communist if one hit 'em upside the head.

[truebluegreen]

10. CNN needs to do us all a favor and shut down their in-country network.

Just go with the international division; it's much better and miles more interesting and informative.

[FSogol]

13. Awesome. K&R. n/t