Former Tenn. Lawmaker Allegedly Drove 90 MPH While Masturbating Out Window

[warrior1]

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/tenn-lawmaker-allegedly-drove-90-mph-while-masturbating

Three different women last week testified that a former Tennessee lawmaker exposed himself to them while driving at a break-neck pace, WJHL reported.

The accounts, each given independently last Thursday in a Kingsport, Tenn. courtroom, all detailed a similar incident: former Mount Carmel, Tenn. Vice-Mayor William Blakely first honking to get the attention of the women, then proceeding to masturbate, all while he was behind the wheel.

Witness Deanna Dykes said Blakely was "waving, grabbed his shirt, kind of pulled it up."

"He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating," witness Deborah Sturgill said.

snip

ewwww

[randome]

1. Some of the comments on this are hilarious. Just like on DU!

Such as:

On a purely logistical level, that's actually kind of impressive.

[Cali_Democrat]

2. Now there's something you don't see every day

[Floyd_Gondolli]

3. That takes some skill

[tblue]

4. Driving while m-ing out the window?

He could be in a circus. That's an amazing talent. Trying to picture it but can't really.

[The Wielding Truth]

26. I have trouble picturing innocent people on the road with this freak.

[winter is coming]

36. I'm simply glad not to be the owner of any cars he drove

before he used the out-the-window approach. "Yeah, the steering's a bit sticky..."

[Poll_Blind]

5. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Ejaculating quickly". nt

PB

[CBGLuthier]

6. I assume he had an automatic transmission.

and must be limber too.

Wetting his mouth? I think I know what they meant.

[Orrex]

14. Sounds like he's not afraid to work a stick, either.

[Mnemosyne]

20. Groan...

[Lil Missy]

21. *groan*

[frazzled]

7. I stopped trying to imagine how you even accomplish this feat ...

when I read it a few hours ago. I decided it wasn't worth the mental exercise. That's one sick puppy.

[Xyzse]

8. Da Phuq?

Sorry, that is all I could say.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

9. At least he didn't let things get out of hand. nt

[KansDem]

12. Sounds like a real whack job...nt

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

13. I give him credit for taking matters into his own hand. nt

[Arugula Latte]

34. Different strokes for different folks.

Okay, not really. That ain't safe.

Remember: Don't Wank and Drive. ~a message from MAMD

[immoderate]

10. Is this guy VERY tall?

--imm

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

15. Uh....or something else

That's no speed bump.

[Blue_Tires]

11. I'm oddly impressed

1. Drive 90 mph in interstate
2. Make obscene gestures to woman in next lane
3. Beat your meat

(presumably, all done simultaneously)

[leftyohiolib]

17. serious multi-tasking .. nt

[HereSince1628]

16. Thankfully I cannot imagine how that scene could be accomplished

[Orrex]

18. Jesus take the wheel!

[Apophis]

19. All simultaneously?

That's quite impressive. Logistically speaking, of course.

[Lil Missy]

22. I thought this HAD to be The Onion.

But no. Now the visual cannot be unseen.

[Autumn]

23. "At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window].

I'm confused, such sloppy reporting . Was it just hanging out the window flopping in the wind or was he holding it out the window? How long is that thing ?????

[Mnemosyne]

24. Comments - "Objects in mirror are bigger than they appear." "nearly another auto-erotic death"

[monmouth3]

25. OMG the comments on this thread must be archived for those bad days. Awesome people..n/t

[RKP5637]

27. Get that guy an ejaculation seat!!!

[mzmolly]

28. Eeew. Republican?

Family values guy, I'd bet.

[postulater]

29. I was picturing the Former Tennessee Lawmaker as a female.

Kinda ruined it when I read tha tit wasn't.

[reflection]

33. I see what you did there.

[raccoon]

30. Carl Hiaasen couldn't make this up. nt

[Erose999]

31. In his defense....

He was late for his appointment with his diaper fetish dominatrix, hence justification for speeding.

[reflection]

32. Was it a car with a 4-stroke engine? n/t

[wandy]

35. I just cant get a mental image of this................

When I try to I somehow add him also talking on a cell phone with a very large dog sitting on his lap.
The whole movie comes to a rather grisly end having something to do with power windows.

[Blue Owl]

37. He was playing jerk chicken with himself

n/t

[Nye Bevan]

38. What a fucking idiot.

I never exceed 75 mph when I am masturbating out of the window. It simply isn't safe.

[hunter]

39. A novel use for cruise control.