Florida Woman Claims This Goldfish is Literally ‘Christ on a Cracker’

[The Straight Story]

We’ve all had our moments of appreciation for Goldfish cracker’s cheesy goodness, but one woman from Melbourne, Florida has taken Goldfish worship to the next level — by claiming her cracker is a sign from God.

Apparently, Melbourne resident Patti Burke was working her way through a bag of her favorite snacks when she noticed that one of the Goldfish crackers was just a little different, “He had a cross on him, and he had a crown circle up by his head. Something I’ve never seen before out of all the Goldfish I’ve eaten.”

Burke, who eats two to three pounds of Goldfish in an average week, knew that this cracker was special. “I believe it’s a sign, a sign from God,” she told reporters.

Since Goldfish manufacturer Pepperidge Farms has denied deliberately manufacturing the crossed cracker, Burke’s salty revelation might in fact be proof of divine intervention. We’re a little doubtful that Goldfish would be the Lord’s cracker of choice — Saltines are certainly holier — but hey, we won’t bash anyone’s taste in sacred snack food. We’re just happy that (according to Burke) God loves our favorite cheddar-flavored munchies as much as we do.

http://foodbeast.com/content/2013/04/05/florida-woman-claims-this-goldfish-is-literally-christ-on-a-cracker/#.UWGqSjf4KSo

[MineralMan]

1. I see it! Praise Jebus!

It is the exact imprint of a #2 Phillips screw head. A miracle, to be sure. A holy relic to be auctioned on eBay.

[markiv]

20. you're forgetting that Phillip was an apostle

and his head on that cracker could be as important as St Paul's creation of the church

Phillip has long been underrated, as the patron saint of non slip screws. Isnt a screw that is less likely to strip just as important as a stone which the builders rejected?

[immoderate]

2. If god didn't like crosses, he wouldn't have made so many Phillips head screws.

--imm

[treestar]

3. It's a miracle!

A sign from God! But of what, exactly? That Patti is one of His favorite people?

[Mz Pip]

4. She eats 2-3 lbs of goldfish a week?

There are probably fish in there that look like all kinds of things.

People see what they want to see.

[DollarBillHines]

8. That got my attention, too

along with the 'manicure'.

[Nevernose]

5. Pareidolia

Although this is really stretching it.

[longship]

6. Whatta maroon!

[asjr]

7. If only she had not lost the picture she took of Jesus back in 33 A D she would have had proof.

[Aerows]

9. Cheesus Sandwich

LOL

[FLyellowdog]

10. "Many contemporary pagans consider it their main symbol for transmitting the energy of the goddess.

http://www.crossroad.to/Books/symbols1.html

[BlueJazz]

11. OOH!..That lucky, Luckt Woman!...That thing is worth Millions !

[FarCenter]

12. two to three pounds of Goldfish in an average week?

OK....

But Jesus eats matzos.

[PassingFair]

13. Not as definitive as my watermelon!

[Occulus]

14. It's the imprint from the top of a Philips screw on the machinery and it's OBVIOUS that's what it is

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

15. And, tastier than the wafers given out at communion!

[markiv]

16. calling Christ a cracker is disrespectfull nt

[markiv]

17. if she eats two to three pounds of Goldfish in an average week

it's probably the only way the lord was ever going to get in her

[markiv]

18. it IS a sign of one thing, though

a slow news day

[Paulie]

19. Who embellished the eye and mouth

They dont come that way from the factory.

How about a safety recall for metal in the product???

[Initech]

21. Christ on a cracker!!!!!!

[Apophis]

22. I think that woman was dropped on her head as a child.

Philips head screw imprint. Nothing more.

[Buns_of_Fire]

23. Well and good, but: What will it bring on eBay?

Remember:

"If you nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, some fool will buy it from you." -- G. Carlin

If she goes through two or three pounds of Goldfish in a week, I'd suggest she keep looking. She might come up with likenesses of all the Apostles, too, and sell them as a set.