Aaaaah! I just found out that on old school friend took his teenage daughter to a "Purity Ball"

[progressoid]

OMG OMG OMG I'm so creeped out.

So I'm sitting here eating my lunch, and I decide to do my monthly check of the facebook. And there it is. Pictures and everything. At first glance, you might think it looks like a nice formal father/daughter affair. But then you realize why these middle aged men were there with their young daughters...ewww.

Jeez, I knew he was very conservative but I did not expect this. I'm dumbstruck.



In case you don't know about the Purity Ball:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_ball

A purity ball is a formal dance event attended by fathers and their daughters which promotes virginity until marriage for teenage girls. Typically, daughters who attend make a virginity pledge to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Fathers who attend promise to protect their young daughters' "purity of mind, body, and soul."[1] Proponents of these events contend that they encourage close and deeply affectionate relationships between fathers and daughters, thereby avoiding the premarital sexual activity that allegedly results when young women seek love through relationships with young men.[2] Critics assert that the balls promulgate messages encroaching upon women's freedom,[2] promote anti-feminist ideals, and ignore homosexuality.[3]

...

Purity Balls have been criticized for promoting the notion that girls and their virginities are like property to be dominated by men, and that females are incapable of controlling their own desires. Writer and feminist Eve Ensler criticizes purity balls for implying that fathers, rather than young women themselves, have the freedom to control whether and with whom the young women engage in sexual intercourse.[2] Glamour claims that National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health data supports the conclusion that teenagers making virginity pledges, including those promulgated through purity balls, usually do not adhere to the required standard of chastity, and are less prepared to utilize safer sex precautions in mitigating the risks of sexual activity when it does occur. Furthermore, Glamour states that the percentage of teenagers in a given area who have made virginity pledges is positively correlated with the frequency with which sexually transmitted diseases occur.

etc.

[bowens43]

1. these people are scary wierd..........

[Taverner]

2. American Paterfamilias

Your wife, your children, etc are your property

[haikugal]

3. I'm creeped out

by this kind of thing too!!! Truly creeped out...authoritarians are creepy people!

[get the red out]

4. I read an article one time

And I apologize, I can't recall where, but in it one family with several daughters was interviewed and all were going to have a purity ball with their father except for the oldest, who had the misfortune of having been raped, therefore she didn't feel she was good enough anymore. Of course they said her family encouraged her to attend, but the message is obvious about what is transmitted in these fundamentalist families regarding a girl's worth.

I feel like these balls are simply disgusting, American Taliban all the way.

[progressoid]

8. Yep - American Taliban. n/t

[TwilightGardener]

5. Gross and embarrassing--speaking as a former teenage girl.

[KittyWampus]

6. Agreed. It would have been appropriate for my development at age 7-8. Not as a teen.

[Doremus]

67. At 7-8 I would have been so creeped out at the thought of sex, and

completely MORTIFIED at the merest suggestion that my father would be discussing something like that with me.

I'm convinced a good portion of the rightwing are pervs. They obsess about sex constantly.

[progressoid]

10. Speaking as a parent of former teenage girls,

I would never have even considered this. It's just wrong on so many levels.

[Art_from_Ark]

41. Yup, wrong on so many levels

Do they sell chastity belts at chastity balls?

[Raine]

22. Me too, that would be none of my father's business and the thought

making it his business ... YUCK!

[RainDog]

7. Truth in advertising - they should call them "STD Balls"

And, yes, this is all about teaching females that a male controls her sexuality.

To the point that he gives her a disease.

what great parenting.

[haikugal]

9. Quiver Full Parenting..

these people live on another planet from the rest of us and feel threatened by us and our 'ideas'. They're the ones that think they are diminished by equality.

[progressoid]

21. Unfortunately, I think there may be some of that Quiver Full crap going on with him.

Every time I see him or talk to his parents it seems like he's gone off the deep end.

[MineralMan]

11. Those purity balls are creepy.

Really creepy. I can't even really think about the relationships that may exist. Ugh!

[sadbear]

12. Let's hope he didn't spend $100 on dinner.

[Recursion]

15. *cough*

[RebelOne]

16. Not appropriate response. n/t

[sadbear]

17. How's this?

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

20. Maybe not - but funny

As my professor of screenwriting in film school would say: "you never cut funny".

[StrongBad]

56. Hysterical!

[TroglodyteScholar]

65. Most appropriate response. n/t

[Isoldeblue]

13. It makes me sick, that they don't

stress purity for their sons. Is it ok for a boy/man to not be a virgin on his wedding night? That old double-standard still lives on.... What hypocrisy!

[nomorenomore08]

19. That "standard" shouldn't apply to anyone. It's unrealistic and unfair.

Just because some people are still living in the 19th century doesn't mean the rest of us should have to.

[Isoldeblue]

66. Truly! n/m

[richmwill]

14. Very creepy

For a father to be that obsessed with his teen daughters virginity- to hold a formal dance to say "Please don't have sex with anyone or you'll make Daddy sad"- how is that not creepy?

[appleannie1]

18. I personally think they are sick and more than a little perverted.

[Demoiselle]

23. ...Paging Doctor Freud......

[Manifestor_of_Light]

24. It's called "Emotional Incest".

Where one parent is emotionally and/or physically unavailable, so the parent becomes emotionally attached to the child of the opposite sex as a "surrogate spouse".

Daddy's Little Girl, Mommy's Little Man.

It's quite unhealthy. A lot of families participate in it. John Bradshaw, Ph.D. talks about this. The bond between a parent and the opposite-sex child (usually but not always opposite-sex) becomes more important than the marital bond.

The child feels responsible for the adult's emotional well-being.

The book:
http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Incest-Syndrome-Parents-Rules/dp/055335275X

[davidn3600]

25. No purity dances or anything like that for the sons?

[rurallib]

31. Excellent post!

[temporary311]

36. Of course not.

Just one of many reasons why these things are so creepy.

[Quantess]

45. Only on Arrested Development.

The "Motherboy" dance.

[Initech]

62. Motherboy!!!!!!

"This is not to be confused with the 80's heavy metal band Motherboy."

[progressoid]

70. My wife gave me a Bluth Frozen Banana t-shirt last month.

Can't wait for summer weather to wear it!

[Initech]

71. That is awesome.

I can't wait for the new season.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

46. No time for that nonsense - gotta get to football practice!

Touchdowns are like Dispensations. Automatic forgiveness of transgressions.

[jmowreader]

49. They have 'em

http://www.wordoffaith-hburg.com/purityball.htm

Googling mother-son purity ball will show you quite a few.

[Texasgal]

26. I wanna know where the boys are

in all of this?

I mean, why is purity only for girls?

[Warpy]

30. Well, boys will be boys

Still, there are some ads out there with Pedo, er, Purity Bear shoving himself between young couples and whispering in the boy's ear about how holy it is to wait.

Besides, a boy going to a purity ball with his Mama would be creepy to men.

[Texasgal]

33. I guess so.

UGH.

Annoying these "purity" balls are. Geared towards young girls, but young men? PFFT.

[awoke_in_2003]

39. "purity ball with his mama would be creepy to the men"...

yep, the "head of the house" is in total control of all his women folk. These people are creepy.

[Sissyk]

27. This is just creepy.

As a female, I ccouldn't imagine that this would have been mentioned, or thought about, or .........damn, this is creepy.

[Ian David]

28. Father of 9 kids by 7 women takes daughter to "purity ball".

Father of 9 kids by 7 women takes daughter to "purity ball".
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3649316

[smirkymonkey]

32. Ewwwww! Sorry, that is just creepy.

[Demo_Chris]

37. Fantastic picture!

[awoke_in_2003]

40. I just puked in my mouth a little. nt

[LittleBlue]

43. ...

[Quantess]

44. "Why can't I have normal parents?"

They look like they're enduring an evening of contrived boredom.

[Initech]

63. I don't think the girls in that picture are acting like they want to be there.

[NaturalHigh]

29. Really, really, creepy.

I'm sure it's not the intent, but this strikes me as a phenomenon with incestuous undertones. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but this "purity ball" thing really gives me the willies.

[Demo_Chris]

38. Okay, glad I was not the only one

[Hekate]

58. Oh no, you are not the only one

by far

[rurallib]

34. Saw this on Free Speech TV about 4 years ago

so creepy I could only watch a few minutes. felt so sorry for those girls.

[LadyHawkAZ]

35. "Purity Culture Is Rape Culture"

http://prospect.org/article/purity-culture-rape-culture

Excellent article.

[LittleBlue]

42. Uttery disgusting

Can't imagine why in hell a man would take his daughter to this. This is a Middle Ages mentality where virginity is an intangible asset.

Made it through 40 seconds of that video until she said "I believe we women were created to need the strength of the man." Slammed laptop shut, going for a walk.

[Ian David]

47. You know, there *is* a loop hole...

NSFW:

[truebrit71]

50. That is fucking great!!!

[MrSlayer]

52. I believe both of these ladies were on Big Bang.

The one on the left currently and the one on the right a few seasons ago.

The concept of the song is funny.

[RainDog]

53. A muslim guy I knew from Turkey

said this is also the way females where he was from kept their hymens intact as well.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

64. Fucking hilarious!

I'm strangely turned on now.

[Boudica the Lyoness]

69. Very good.

Made me lol

[alphafemale]

48. And these girls are probably far more likely to have an unintended pregnancy.

Expected chastity with no education no other ways to prevent pregnancy and STD's does not have a high success rate.

[jmowreader]

51. Soldiers call shit like this "mandatory fun"

I watched the video in the OP...the little girls seemed to be having a good time, but there's the whole princess thing going on there - lots of little girls like the idea of going to a big event in a fancy dress, having their hair done at a salon, the whole nine yards. They have no idea what the thing is actually about because, surprise, surprise, in families like the ones they come from sex is Something For Your Wedding Night And Not Before.

The teenagers, OTOH, seemed to mostly be of the "I do NOT want to be here, I do NOT want to be doing this, I do NOT want to sign my virginity over to my father" mindset. One has to wonder: of the teenagers who attend purity balls, how many of them violated that "sacred covenant" the next Saturday night?

[sibelian]

54. I think it's revolting.

It's the natural extension of the idiotic "what are your intentions towards my daughter" attitude striking that goes on. She's an adult.

[Auggie]

55. One learns something new every day on D.U.

Wow -- had never heard of this. Thanks for posting.

[mercuryblues]

57. Congratulations

to him for increasing his daughter's chance of getting an STD and teen pregnancy. He must be so proud.

http://www.perrspectives.com/blog/archives/001345.htm

[Initech]

59. I'm a guy and I am extremely weirded out by this concept.

I always wonder how some people can say our religious fundamentalists are any better or different from the Taliban.

[Jennicut]

60. My girls aren' t close to being teens yet but they will never ever

have to pledge their "purity" to me or their father. Eww, yuck, sexist. Ironically, I was a virgin until I was 23 because the guys I went to high school and college with just seemed like such meatheads. It was not to be pure, it was just waiting for the right person. And it ended up being my husband and that worked out well. This purity crap is so ultra fundie and "blames" girls for their decisions to have sex, leaving teenage boys scot free in responsibility.

[Hekate]

61. Regarding the BOYS and their "balls"....

Sorry I just could not resist.

Who is going to be the designated slut in the school, as long as we are harking back to allegedly more innocent times? She'll be someone's daughter, too.

Also, when these abysmally ignorant girls who have been purity-balled finally do get talked into the deed, I am not surprised that they have no idea how to have safe sex.

Ewwwwwww.

Calling Dr. Freud.

[Jamaal510]

68. Real-life Ned Flanders