Gangbanger Accidentally Shoots Himself in the Nuts, Blames Ninjas

[grahamhgreen]

Police in Chicago say a teenager with gang ties tried to blame a self-inflicted gunshot to the groin on a pair of ninjas before eventually coming clean. The unnamed 17-year-old was brought to Loyola Hospital in Maywood with a "left groin" injury that appeared to be self-inflicted.

But police officers who were called to the hospital by staff were told by the teen that two men dressed in ninja garb were to blame..................

After a scan of the crime scene, a review of surveillance footage, and a number of interviews with potential eyewitnesses yielded no proof of ninja-related activity, police confronted the teen and eventually were told the truth.

It seems the kid was in his car with an unspecified number of "female friends" and was messing around with a gun when it accidentally discharged in his lap.

http://gawker.com/5991072/gangbanger-accidentally-shoots-himself-in-the-nuts-blames-ninjas

[The Straight Story]

1. Sounds like a bush supporter. Blame saddam for us attacking him

and whining about how we the people had to use our guns to kill over 100,000 civilians.

[TwilightGardener]

2. Why WOULDN'T you blame ninjas?

No one will be able to find them and confirm it. They're ninjas.

[TeeYiYi]

18. I usually blame my cats...

...but, ninjas... I like it! "Ninjas did it!" I'm switching.

TYY

[Morning Dew]

21. I always blame kids on bikes.

"did you just blow off fireworks?"

"No, Officer, it was kids on bikes."

[TeeYiYi]

22. "Kids on bikes." My new favorite alternative response. I like it! :D ...nt

TYY

[Enrique]

3. and in the meantime they rounded up a bunch of innocent ninjas

[EOTE]

16. LOL nt.

[NickB79]

4. Blew his balls off in front of a bunch of girls

He was trying to impress.

Darwin is pleased.

[Ganja Ninja]

5. I've just had it with these anti Ninja threads.

[grahamhgreen]

24. LOL!

[Turbineguy]

6. Not the sort

to breed from anyway.

[siligut]

7. Ninjas always get the blame

Everybody knows they are sneaky fuckers.

[JHB]

8. If they couldn't see the ninjas it proves it was ninjas!

[grahamhgreen]

12. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[alcibiades_mystery]

9. Despite everyone's hopes, nothing says that he shot himself "in the nuts"

He shot himself in the groin. That's what the hospital said. Neither the hospital nor any respectable newspaper would have a problem saying he shot himself in the testicle. They'd just say that.

So, the Internet's deepest desire seems to be in vain here.

[LeftyMom]

10. I'm not saying I disbelieve his story, but wouldn't ninjas have stabbed him in the nut with a sword?

Everything else about his story rings completely true though.

[NickB79]

11. They might have thrown shirikins

Tiny, bullet-shaped shirikins. Ninjas are sneaky like that.

[JHB]

13. To remain unseen, one must become one's environment.

[Apophis]

14. This is the funniest thing I've read all day.

Thanks for the Monday morning laugh.

[talkingmime]

15. I'm thinking he probably didn't get laid that night. Just a guess, mind you.

[leftyohiolib]

17. they are all lucky to be alive

[LiberalFighter]

19. He should do a video and show how he did it.

[sarisataka]

20. He's probably right...

[FSogol]

23. Ever been to their parade?