Man tries to remove wedding ring by shooting it off his finger.

[Electric Monk]

http://www.kgw.com/news/national/198448691.html

A criminal complaint said Bradford police were called just before 9 p.m. March 2 and were met by Alfredo Malespini III, 31, who told officers he was "trying to get rid of his wedding ring" and decided to "shoot it off." The Bradford Era first reported the shooting on Friday.

The gunshot badly mangled Malespini's finger, but didn't remove the ring, police said.

At the time of the shooting in Bradford, which is near the New York border about 130 miles northeast of Pittsburgh, Malespini was employed as a lieutenant at the Federal Correctional Institution-McKean, a medium security prison a few miles away.

DOH!


(originally posted in Gun Control & RKBA, http://www.democraticunderground.com/1172114873#post11
but locked by the host and suggested to repost it in GD)

[spanone]

1. forrest gump comes to mind

stupid is as stupid does

[CurtEastPoint]

2. And here's Forrest.

[spanone]

5. yep, that's him.

[Amonester]

22. From where do all these pea brains come from?!?

Planet of the Apes?

[Rozlee]

33. Probably someone whose parents hooked up at a family reunion.

Winding up with a pretty shallow and murky gene pool.

[SirRevolutionary]

3. See?

Guns are tools, or so they tell me.

[ManiacJoe]

7. And like other tools, they can be misused.

However, the results of their misuse are often more catastrophic than other tools. For example, this case.

[A HERETIC I AM]

32. Misuse or no, they make really crappy hacksaws. n/t

[Gravitycollapse]

4. This is quite possibly the dumbest thing I've read all week.

[pinboy3niner]

6. Well shit, how else are ya gonna git it off?

[ManiacJoe]

10. The musical "Grease" suggests hair gel.

[pinboy3niner]

25. Hair gel? Well that's just stupid, ima get mah gun.

[FailureToCommunicate]

30. !!!!

Best laugh I don had all day!!

[PADemD]

28. Windex

According to the jeweler who cut off my wedding ring when I was pregnant, the silicone causes the skin to shrivel and shrink. It's the first thing they try before cutting.

[Electric Monk]

29. Silicone? Windex is made of Isopropanal, 2-Butoxethanol, Ethylene, Water, and Ammonia.

http://answers.ask.com/Business/Constructions_and_Materials/what_are_the_ingredients_in_windex

[PADemD]

35. That's what I thought he said.

It was over 30 years ago.

Anyway, it worked for the second pregnancy.

[PADemD]

37. Maybe he said surfactant

When Windex was invented in 1933 by Harry R. Drackett, it was almost 100% solvent. It was highly flammable and had to be sold in metal cans. When modern surfactants were introduced after World War II, the product was reformulated.

The Sam Wise patent #3,463,735 lists example formulae, one of which is 4.0% isopropyl alcohol (a highly volatile solvent) 1% ethylene glycol monobutyl ether (a less volatile solvent), 0.1% sodium lauryl sulfate (a surfactant), 0.01% tetrasodium pyrophosphate (a water softener), 0.05% of 28% ammonia, 1% of a dye solution, and 0.01% perfume. This formula was not only less expensive to manufacture, but allowed the product to be packaged in glass bottles and dispensed with a plastic sprayer.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windex

[pinboy3niner]

31. Too bad our shooter/victim wasn't in the habit of cleaning his windows

[nadinbrzezinski]

8. On the bright side

He was not playing with it!

True story we took cop to hospital after he blew his pinky with his onion field piece. That was a .25.

It was one of those that lived (still does) in infamy.

[ManiacJoe]

14. Probably an spelling-correction problem here.

"his onion fled piece"

[nadinbrzezinski]

15. Yup, auto correct strikes again

[ManiacJoe]

17. "Onion field piece"? I am not familiar with that phrase.

[nadinbrzezinski]

19. LAPD back in the 70s

An officer had his service piece taken away on an onion field. He survived because he was one of the few that had a backup piece in an ankle strap.

This happened in an onion field. So at least in SoCal they are colloquially known as "onion field insurance."

Oh and the slang extends to northern Baja California. The cop we took was an undercover for Tijuana Vice...he was playing with it at the office.

[LeftInTX]

9. Sounds like something out of Lil'Abner

[Monk06]

39. Or Fearless Fosdick

[LiberalEsto]

11. Winner of the latest Darwin Awards, methinks

De-evolution at work

[BlueStreak]

18. Technically somebody has to die to win a Darwin award, I think.

Or at least destroy their ability to reproduce.

I wonder if this guy has a nipple ring or a nose ring he's having trouble removing. That would do it.

[Bay Boy]

20. Fail!

Only because you have to kill yourself to get a Darwin award.
Alternately if their injury affects their ability to procreate they can win too.

[Auntie Bush]

12. Must be a Republican!

Who else could be that stupid?

[pnwmom]

13. Obviously no IQ test is necessary to purchase a gun. n/t

[Capt13]

16. Should have aimed abuot three feet closer..

[Iggo]

21. Goodguyswithguns.

[Initech]

23. If only he had a good finger with a gun.

[AtheistCrusader]

24. Impressive level of effort.

Apparently he REALLY wanted it off.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

26. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

[xxqqqzme]

27. They are comong out of

the woodwork. Ammo in the oven shoots girlfriend heating up pizza; dog steps on gun rolling around on the floor of the truck and shots owner; now this clown trying to get a ring of his finger.

What the hell is wrong w/ soap? Pam?

[pinboy3niner]

34. My first choice would be lard, but what do I know?

At least I'm smart enough not to put it in the oven.

[lpbk2713]

36. "Here ... hold my beer while I ... "

Unfuggenbelievable.

[BainsBane]

38. Soap and water is a better option

less bloody too.

[Kalidurga]

40. Someone seems to have serious commitment issues...

Do they do drug tests in the hospital when incidents like this happen?