Violence Against Women Is a Choice Men Make: 4 Ways to Make the Right One

[redqueen]

"Violence is a choice. And it is choice that men make. We can choose to stop it." -Patrick Stewart, spokesperson for Ring The Bell, a campaign calling on men to be partners in the fight against violence against women.

I know that everyone has rearranged life this week because the UN Commission on the Status of Women, focusing on preventing and eliminating violence against women, is going on. And, tomorrow, you and everyone you know will no doubt drop everything to celebrate International Women's Day. By the way, did you know that today is White Ribbon Day? Do you know what White Ribbon Day is? Because, I'm thinking that it shouldn't take gendercide and gang rapes of children and women to motivate good men to act against pervasive injustice that all women and girls are subjected to in one degree or another. And, even that doesn't do it in some places that remain surreally, perversely "divided" on the subject. Women are not perpetrating widespread violence against one another or against men -- in homes or in war. And yet, whenever I go to meetings, seminars or schools to discuss this topic, I enter rooms full of women. This is immensely frustrating. This is why I think tomorrow should be called International Where are the Men?Day. I know many men believe in equality, some are activists and allies for change. Every day I appreciate the work they do. But there are simply not enough of them.

I know I'm beating a steady drum, but it bears repeating since one in three women are still subjected to pervasive violence every day: the greatest human rights injustice on this planet is daily, perpetual, profound and systemic violence against girls and women. No country, including "developed" "democracies" "at peace," is immune from this fact. A visitor to this planet would ask, in stunned disbelief, how it was possible that we'd so forgotten we are born equally human.

Actor Patrick Stewart, who grew up in a home riven by domestic violence and writes and speaks often on the topic, is headlining a new global initiative, Ring the Bell: One million men. One million promises, being launched tomorrow by the pioneering social innovation movement Breakthrough. Their viral Bell Bajao movement (Bell Bajao means "ring the bell&quot engages men in preventing and eliminating violence against women. Stewart movingly explains why men's participation is so crucial:

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/violence-against-women-is_4_b_2828654.html

[Scout]

1. good for Patrick Stewart.

i hope more men will listen and become allies.

[seabeyond]

2. i like to hear this redq, thank you. a positive. excellent . nt

[lunatica]

3. Thanks for posting this!

My admiration for Patrick Stewart just went way higher!

Men do need to get involved in general. Many men are defenders of women (like Patrick Stewart) so I'd also like to thank them for their efforts.

[bettyellen]

4. wow, what a great initiative... some great suggestions for men here:

"2) SHARE
Share culture, real power and full rights. This is a hard one. First, it requires acknowledging sexism and misogyny exist and, second, that boys and men benefit, in intersecting ways, from patriarchal structures. I know that 99 percent of men are not running around feeling privileged, powerful and entitled, in terms of how most of us think of those words. But, here is a simple test: how many boys do you know who would willingly and gleefully trade genders or want to grow up to be like a woman? How many ways, in how many languages, is it acceptable to insult a person by calling them some variation of "girl" or "woman"? Gender-based inequality and violence are about power and men, by virtue of birthright, have power, including the power to stop violence and change systems.

3) SPEAK
Bystander intervention is something every boy and man can engage in. When men, especially those with visibility, status and respect speak up, people listen. When they don skirts to protest rape and wear heels to "walk in a mile in her shoes," it's significant. When they take a role in using violence prevention apps like Circle of Six or they ridicule "Man Cards" issued by gun companies, it changes cultures. We need people to stop asking for rape jokes. To stop thinking revenge porn is okay and about free speech. We need men to create affirming fraternities, based on respecting us instead of shaming, humiliating and hurting us. To build public spaces and cultures that aren't designed to intimidate us and make life difficult, but are open to us as equals. We chose our legacies.

...snip....

[GreenStormCloud]

5. Preaching to the choir.

He is right, but the men who need to listen to him are precisely the ones who are listening to their inner ape. Chimpanzee males are brutal to females, and we are descended from and very closely related to chimps. Male violence against women is common to all cultures, and worse in some. Males have to be taught to be peaceful as their natural inclination is towards violence. Yes, I am male. I had to be taught the right way to treat women. Thankfully, I was taught.

[rhett o rick]

6. Thanks for posting. I am on board. nm

[MineralMan]

7. I made that promise many years ago,

and applied it to everyone. I will not instigate violence against anyone, and will avoid it if started by someone else, as far as I am able to do so.

It's a simple enough choice, and an easy one to make.

[NewJeffCT]

8. great cause

As Capt Picard would say, "Make it so."

[smirkymonkey]

9. Thank you for this post. What an admirable man.

That is what I call a real man.