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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBullied 11-year-old in coma after brutal schoolyard attack.
http://www.examiner.com/article/bullied-11-year-old-coma-after-brutal-schoolyard-attackAlong with the fact that a bullied 11-year-old boy is in a coma; one of his attackers reportedly only received a two-day suspension.
Bailey's parents took him to a local Children's Hospital. There, he began to show signs that something was wrong after several days. In the beginning, his mood was low, he was angry and wasn't sleeping.
But then things took a bad turn; the bullied kid began having violent seizures. As a result, doctors were forced to sedate him for medical reasons.
I don't know, would being a karate master have taken care of a seven-on-one problem???
What would happen to you if you beat up another adult bad enough to send them to the hospital?
What would happen to you if you beat up an 11 year old bad enough to send him to a hospital?
What would happen to you if you beat up YOUR 11 year old bad enough to send him to a fucking hospital?
So, if these sorts of rules and expectations apply to adults, why exactly is it PERFECTLY OK TO ALLOW FUCKING KIDS TO BEAT UP OUR KIDS AND SUFFER ZERO REPERCUSSIONS FOR IT???? WHY??? SAY IT, SAY IT??????
HughBeaumont
(24,461 posts)WHEN is bullying going to be taken seriously by schools? WHEN is America's runaway rage problem going to be put under control?
RobinA
(9,893 posts)will never completely stop (although it could improve). It's in the genetic material. I live with barnyard birds - they bully. We have 15 dark gray birds and three lavender. Total segregation and bullying based on color, they are the exact same birds. Horses? Four of them, four different level horses. The previous low man on the totem poll is now the high man on the totem pole and bullies the others every chance he gets. For no other reason than because he can.
This is not to say that we shouldn't try, we aren't barnyard animals, but lectures and "programs" are not the answer. Try a revamp of the school environment where the kids are not bullied by the school staff. How about something to figure out why the bully bullies?
icarusxat
(403 posts)because the research comes from outside of the good ol' USA it is ignored. Here are a few of the reasons...
A list of the motivations behind bullying includes but is not limited to the following:
Sense of empowerment
Low self esteem
Frustration
Anger
Passing the bullying inflicted by others along
Gender based
Ethnicity
Religion
Yearning to belong
Perceived peer expectations
Establishing identity
Drama
Parental expectations
Fear of self
Fear of the outside world
Yearning to feel
Testing the boundaries
Desire to control
Habit
Boredom
Sense of belonging if there is group involvement
Lack of higher purpose
Mental defect
Coveting
Confusion
Desire to change the social order
Cry for help
Hormonal onset
Curiosity
Payback
Peer pressure
Establish leadership
Establish control
Inclusion
Exclusion
Just plain meanness
Attempted gene pool domination
Jealousy
Perception of fun
Entertaining others
Desire to be the center of attention
Outward appearance of victim
Outward appearance of self
Sexual orientation
Disability
Dehumanization
Ignorance
(Cloud, 2010; Dilmaç, & Adoğan, 2010; Draa & Sydney, 2009; Haas et al., 2011; Hinduja & Patchin, 2009, 2008; Kerbs & Jolley, 2007; Li, 21007; McGuinness, 2007; Maher, 2008; Olweus, 1993, 1997, 2005). Grigg (2010); Hinduja and Patchin (2010); and Klomek, Sourander, and Gould (2010) noted a strong link between bullying, cyberbullying, and suicide
Niceguy1
(2,467 posts)Week there was a thread about a bully that was arrested for an off campus assault and robbery... and of course the facts were misrepresented to make the bully look like the victim which happens often. Lots of people here were defending him and bashing law enforcement.
Turbineguy
(37,343 posts)had been wearing a t-shirt with a marijuana leaf on it....
Twisted values are a sign of an unhealthy society.
Wednesdays
(17,380 posts)magellan
(13,257 posts)There's the question. An adult can't get away with this, so why do we allow kids to?
I'm also aware that in many schools now, if you fight back you'll probably get suspended along with your attacker(s). That is, as long as you don't wind up in the hospital like this poor kid.
We read this heartbreaking stuff every day. I really don't know wtf it's going to take for us to get tough with bullies in ways that make a difference. But my heart goes out to this lad and his family. I hope despite the turn in his condition he recovers fully.
cali
(114,904 posts)They shouldn't, but they shouldn't be charged as adults either.
magellan
(13,257 posts)From the linked article:
"Parents of the boy are working with police and school officials to learn why the alleged attackers got off easy and one boy is fighting for his life" and "Police are investigating and working with school officials to determine if bullying is a problem at the school. However, at this time, there has been nothing criminal found."
And I didn't say they should be charged as adults. But a 2-day school suspension, which one of the attackers received, is a little light considering this boy's injuries, don't you think?
Sekhmets Daughter
(7,515 posts)Carolina
(6,960 posts)I cannot imagine how awful the bullying must have been for the poor child even before the beating. My heart goes out to the parents. This is just horrible.
There should be serious ramifications for the little perps despite their lack of frontal lobe development.
AngryOldDem
(14,061 posts)This didn't just happen out of the damn blue.
Basically, it will stop when schools walk the talk and actually enforce their "zero-tolerance" policies toward bullying, instead of blowing off, or making excuses to, bullied kids and their parents when they complain, or just giving mere slaps on the wrist to bullies.
My heart breaks for this child and his family. Charge the little bastards who did this with aggravated assault (or worse, depending on how this turns out, God forbid). Fuck the two-day suspension.
I am angry as well. If you see any updates to this story, please post. He will be on my mind all day.
RobinA
(9,893 posts)what can a school do about bullying? They can be on the lookout and try to intervene, but really, bullying goes way beyond school.
Wednesdays
(17,380 posts)SunSeeker
(51,571 posts)It starts at the top, with the principal insisting on a zero tolerance policy. Those 6 kids would have been expelled if they went to my son's elementary school. His school nips it in the bud, when it is at the name-calling stage.
Two years ago, a kid mocked my son with some vicious name-calling on the playground. My kid reported it to his teacher, who immediately reported it to the principal. The principal immediately investigated, and when she confirmed that it happened (witnesses, plus the kid then admitted it) she gave the kid detention in her office for the rest of the week and made the kid write a long letter of apology to my son. Yup, my son hasn't had any problems since.
Bullying is simply not tolerated at his school. As such, it rarely happens at his school and when it does, it is immediately punished.
AngryOldDem
(14,061 posts)Schools can't get away with throwing up their hands and saying they can't do anything. Bullshit. Your school and principal show that it CAN be done. Otherwise, cut the "zero-tolerance" bullcrap.
Your school and principal are to be commended.
AngryOldDem
(14,061 posts)Ever hear of "in loco parentis"? When kids are at school, the school is responsible for their welfare. And that includes being responsive to reports/evidence of bullying.
A two-day suspension for beating a kid nearly to death is not enough. Schools talk a good, tough game, but when the rubber hits the road, nothing of substance is ever done. I know. I had two kids who were bullied in school and jackshit was done about it. That was more than a decade ago, so I can only imagine what it's like in schools now.
Again -- I wonder how long this conduct was ignored by the school. It didn't just escalate to this point overnight.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)Dont do anything because "what can a school do?" The school could do a lot. And they are responsible for the safety of children in their care. But it's much easier to look the other way. Bullying is very obvious. And the school should have a culture where bullied children arent afraid to report bullying.
timdog44
(1,388 posts)Most of the bullies learn their arts from their parents. We had a child in the town next to ours who was bullied to the point of going to the school early in the morning and hanging himself. Makes my heart break. The other thing I have seen, especially in smaller schools is that the bullies are children, and they are children, of someone influential and thus the lenient punishment with out any teaching element involved.
citizen blues
(570 posts)When I was a kid, we had a ruthless bully who was the son of our congressman. (My parents never voted for their father.)
lunasun
(21,646 posts)Young girls are not exempt either anymore(physically)
BigD_95
(911 posts)at different times with this.
1st you have to go over the school. Get the superintendent involved. I did it with a email with him copied.
crap got to go to work
avebury
(10,952 posts)Hold the school and school district accountable for not providing a safe environment for students. If schools are not willing to take dealing with bullyies seriously they should have to pay through the nose. Money talks and if enough schools start getting stuck with huge judgements to payout maybe things might start to change.
I would also look to suing the parents of the bullies. If a person's dog attacks a person or a person's property, the dog owner is going to have to pay the bills. The same should apply here.
Use social media - facebook, youtube, twitter. If you can get a video clip of the bullies put it out there on youtube. This is the face of a bully. There was a case in Oklahoma where a relative kept trying to talk to authorities about another relative who was abusing their child. The reporting family member got a hold of a video clip of an incident shot on the phone of another family member and put it out on youtube. It took posting the clip on youtube and public outrage for the police to finally arrest the mother (and it looks like the father got arrested as well). The father was the one who took the video to prove that he was not the one abusing the child. He is in trouble for not reporting the abuse himself.
It is sad that we live in an age where people have to turn to social media to get authorities to take action.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)I_T_W
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ProfessionalLeftist
(4,982 posts)...the parents of the bullies (ALL of them). I would demand that all medical costs for the victim, present and future which are related to this incident, be paid in full by the defendants, and I would seek other damages.
I'd sue their asses until I was dead if that's what it took. I'd have it in the media too, give it the most publicity possible. The school and the bully's parents might be ashamed of themselves as well they should be.
I'd be one pissed off Mamma.
lunasun
(21,646 posts)to get authorities to take action.
Sadly yes, media outing seems to work for this day and age......
Egypt - say no more
gtar100
(4,192 posts)use the dominant means we have today. Those are all great ideas. Making bullying unacceptable in our social circles will stop a lot of it. And when it doesn't, it should be dealt with by authority, and failing that, by our justice system. But all systems have to reflect the value that bullying is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
azurnoir
(45,850 posts)the school and police need to have much light shown on them , these kids are presumably 11 or 12 years old plenty old enough to know what they were doing and they are IMO dangerous
Then the parents should contact a lawyer to see if they can legally hold the school responsible
the school it seems wants this to go away quietly
SCVDem
(5,103 posts)They need to know about bullying and start them with a 24 hr lockdown. Each additional bullying incident gets another 24. Local jail.
Violent physical abuse starts with 48 hrs in county, and up.
Think you're bad punk? Welcome to the real world.
Rider3
(919 posts)frylock
(34,825 posts)revolution breeze
(879 posts)During lunch, two boys fighting, one has a busted lip and bloody nose. While duty teacher is dealing with this, two girls take the opportunity to tear into one another. One girl has a visible bad spot and walked to the school bus with a visible limp (her parents were at work and unavailable to come to the school). Then, at bus lineup, another fight breaks out and was broken up by the bus driver. Sixth grade is brutal.
Maine-ah
(9,902 posts)we just had one up here where two eighth graders were fighting - the one who was the bully, then held the girl down while her 16 year old friend started kicking her in the face. This happened in school. Video was taken and put up on facebook. At least the school admins did the right thing and the two girls were suspended, and the police are charging them - one with assault, and one with aggravated assault. The girl who was beaten, got a broken nose which required surgery, and they also damaged one of her eyes, which will be permanent.
CrispyQ
(36,478 posts)Shouldn't the parents also some how be held responsible? If only for the medical bills? It just seems to me that this kind of behavior doesn't happen in a vacuum. But then, I don't have kids, so what do I know.
The Wizard
(12,545 posts)is just so Republican.
LWolf
(46,179 posts)where bullying and violence were common every day occurrences. I graduated from high school in '77. Nobody ever suffered any repercussions for bullying me.
Since the 80s, I've only worked in one school that had a problem with bullying; I was there doing student teaching. All the schools I've worked in, outside of that one, didn't have a significant problem.
I know it's still happening. I also know that it doesn't have to be that way.
We have a long way to go.
raccoon
(31,111 posts)Iris
(15,659 posts)JVS
(61,935 posts)These kid's actions are for the police and judges to handle. The job of the school is education and it's disciplinary system is limited.
Niceguy1
(2,467 posts)This board was rallying around to support a bully that was arrested to the point of misrepresenting facts to make the bully look like the victims.
exboyfil
(17,863 posts)environment for learning. Such a brutal beating should lead to a long term suspension or expulsion. Throw the responsibility of controling the brutal child (children) back on the parents.
citizen blues
(570 posts)It is not the school's job to punish crimes. It's also not the school's job to cover them up, minimize them, obstruct justice, or turn a blind eye. Schools need to take swift action in getting the authorities involved whose jobs are to deal with and punish crimes.
n2doc
(47,953 posts)But not assault. Strange priorities.
Nay
(12,051 posts)kid who threw a pretend grenade while playing on the playground. These kids get slammed, and bullies get 2 days of suspension? What's up with that? We need to examine exactly why school authorities seem so blase about bullying.
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)And an honors teen for writing poetry with some harsh imagery over Sandy Hook.
Send a kid to the hospital after bullying, that's ok...do not throw an imaginary, read this again IMAGINARY hand grenade to save the world...did I mention kid is five years old?
Something is wrong with our priorities.
This is actually exhibit A.
lumberjack_jeff
(33,224 posts)barbtries
(28,799 posts)consequences will have to come in a civil court apparently. but there must be consequences. poor little guy.
obama2terms
(563 posts)The school was most likely aware that this was going on, I hope these parents know a good lawyer because if I were them I would sue the shit out of them!
n2doc
(47,953 posts)the bullies would have been expelled for it in many districts.
Charge them with juvenile assault, if convicted, send them to juvenile prison for a year. Permanently expel them from the main school system. And let everyone else know about it. That will stop most of this crap.
I hope the parents of the poor kid in a coma sue the ever living crap out of the bullies parents and the school. And the school officials.
get the red out
(13,466 posts)That would do them in also.
Javaman
(62,530 posts)First, I feel really bad for that poor kid. While I haven't ever been beaten into a coma, have had enough kids "gang" up on me and beat the shit out of me. Bloody noses, fat lips, black eyes, etc was part and parcel of my life growing up. It sucked.
First and foremost, the bullies need to understand that there is an equal and opposite result to their actions. No, I'm not saying they should be beaten, however, most bullies operate on the concept of assumed power. That is, their belief of being the top dog and using that power over others to motivate and intimidate the "weaker ones" and to keep their "followers", who seek a powerful figure, in line.
The bullies need to be put in a situation were they feel powerless and are subject to the same type of humiliation that those whom they bully feel on a daily basis. What this mechanism is, I can't begin to describe.
They also need to have a complete psychological examination to determine if they suffer from some form of sociopathy. Do they understand how the other person feels when bullied?
While all this is going on, the parents need to be interviews for signs of abuse at home. Bullies just don't fall out of the sky, they are usually encouraged and groomed, by parents that were either bullied themselves or are still bullies.
If it's determined that the parents have an unsafe environment which promotes the kind of aggressive behavior their child shows, then the matter needs to be moved to child services. The parents need to be visited and monitored to make sure they are providing a suitable environment for their child. They must take parenting and anger management classes. If no improvement is shown then the child is moved into a forster home.
The bully, while all this is going on, also needs to go through various programs to learn why it's not good to act out and bully other kids.
We can punish parents and kids all we want, but unless the root causes are identified and dealt with, nothing will change.
full disclosure: I have a "handicap" which many, if you knew, might not think was anything at all. And frankly to me it's not an issue, however, during my elementary, junior high and high school years, I was bullied every single day because of it. My hope and dreams were much different from other kids, while other kids where working to get into college, pursuing girls, etc mine was much more simple: to have a single day go by where I wasn't bullied. Alas, that never happened while I was in grad school. I have the scars both mental and physical to prove it. I have a permanent "click" in my right hand from when it was broken by a bully. Shall I go on?
I'm not looking for sympathy, quite the opposite, I'm trying to point out that while, yes, when I was young, I thought nothing of trying to get even with these bastards, but as I grew up, I learned to pity them. They haven't the tools to be full productive human beings. And it's up to us, the members of society that chose to learn from our misfortunes to find ways to end the violence and find productive means to correct the course of the "lord of the flys" mentality that still pervades our schools to this day.
My two cents.
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)Part of the solution is that these people must become known, and in my view socially shunned.
The rest you wrote...yup...I feel pity for them, but I will avoid breathing the same air.
get the red out
(13,466 posts)Kids will be kids
I think that kids are crammed into schools and allowed to create their own ecosystem without guidance or encouragement to learn to be a part of the civilization around them that already exists. They have their own form of Darwinism, where they decide who is fit and who is not and should be extinct (gone from their presence). The adults around often end up becoming part of the child-formed ecosystem.
Just my useless 2 cents.
Iris
(15,659 posts)and God only knows what happens with other crimes on college campuses.
lonestarnot
(77,097 posts)smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)Why can't the adults in the schools stick up for these poor kids? This is such a shame. I hope that poor boy recovers.
Nine
(1,741 posts)I realize that bullying is a complex problem, but sometimes I think it's made to be more complicated than it needs to be. Simple adult supervision would stop a lot of these incidents. Did this happen in the schoolyard? The lunchroom? Either the adults here are not doing their jobs or they are stretched so thin by funding cuts that they can't do their jobs.
Lone_Star_Dem
(28,158 posts)Last edited Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:50 PM - Edit history (1)
I'm not advocating that the children who did this should be placed in juvenile detention. There should be some type of laws that do hold them responsible and mandate treatment for them, however. We cannot simply turn a blind eye forever to children abusing other children in a malicious fashion. We need to legislate laws that protect the victims and work to rehabilitate the abusers while they're still young.
whathehell
(29,067 posts)I do.
I was bullied as a kid, but it was all verbal. No one HIT me, let alone put me, or anyone else in my school,
in a fucking coma...This is SICK and dangerous as hell...These little shits AND their parents have to be
held responsible...Freaking A.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)and THAT'S when you get in trouble. Or build a gun out of Legos or something.
patrice
(47,992 posts)character in their children & sorry to say that's male and female children these days.
Smilo
(1,944 posts)hugs and prayers for them.
As for the bullies - and 2 days suspension for one of them - just 2 days and what about the others that took part? WTF. This is criminal assault and should be treated as such.
Octafish
(55,745 posts)The children who hurt the 11-year-old should be suspended for the remainder of the school year and next year as well. They should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. The parents, also, should be liable.
I pray the child recovers. I also hope her heart does not hold the hatred that seem to fill so many other hearts today.
HughBeaumont
(24,461 posts)Gang beating a kid until he's in the hospital would get you prison time in the real world. I don't really see how this warrants only a two-day suspension. This isn't taking a damned thing seriously . . . this is trying to brush a CRIME under the rug.
jmowreader
(50,559 posts)I have noticed, as I'm sure you have, that almost all bullies play sports. The dynamic is simple: if we take action against the bullies the state will make us kick them off the team, we won't win and their futures will be ruined.
No one who can do anything about it seems to care about the kid they beat to death or the ones who hang themselves.
How to fix the problem, all of which happen on the first offense:
1. Bullying gets you sentenced to either a state reformatory or a military school until you graduate from high school. One year will only make the kid plan to get even with the kid he bullied for getting him sent to reformatory.
2. The NCAA, NAIA, and NJCAA need to add bullying to the list of things that will permanently disqualify you from playing college sports.
3. Any school caught covering up or ignoring bullying loses its eligibility to field sports teams for one full school year plus the remainder of the year the bullying incident occurred in - let a bully walk on the third day of school, no sports for two years. On the second offense they lose eligibility permanently. On the third, the school's athletic records, both team and individual, are stricken from the record books and their trophy cases, along with their contents, are destroyed by a steamroller in front of a school assembly.
You want to end bullying real quick? Put the football team on the line.
formercia
(18,479 posts)This crap is encouraged by the 'System.'
Violent Teams Sports need to be eliminated from schools..Period.
Making a Warrior Nation, one bully at a time.
Zoeisright
(8,339 posts)and their parents.
And those little fuckers that did this should be in jail. Not foster care or juvie - JAIL.
Aerows
(39,961 posts)and I refuse to introduce anything further into this conversation.
tclambert
(11,087 posts)Yes. Yes, it would. But there are no 11-year-old karate masters. It typically takes about 10-15 years AFTER earning a black belt.
HughBeaumont
(24,461 posts)It addresses the ridiculousness of putting the onus on the victim of a seven-on-one beating, which some here tend to do.
Ilsa
(61,695 posts)A parent having to miss work drives home a point. I think the police need to be involved, too, if there was gang activity, and a bunch of kids bullying one child sounds like a gang.
rickyhall
(4,889 posts)While delivering pizza in '09 I was beaten by three men until they grew tired of it and left me there. I got a concussion that got me an MRI visit and 3 broken ribs. As far as I know no one has ever been arrested and I gave a good description. So unless caught at the scene or well witnessed not much would happen.