I really wish the term domestic violence would go away

[RB TexLa]

It's called assault and battery, attempted murder and murder. Prosecutors need to treat the crime without concern for the legal relationship of the criminal to the victim.

If a man beat a woman he had never met on the street with a belt would they ever think of asking the victim if she wanted to press charges?

Would they ever think he just needs counseling?

And of course you can reverse the genders in the above for the female criminals who need to be treated the same way.

[pkdu]

1. Amen..it's somehow assumed to be a lesser crime with that name (by some )..disgusting nt.

[Buzz Clik]

2. The reason for the term and different treatment of marital assault and battery is well-intentioned.

The stresses of marriage, family, and everything coming with them can create strife. Most cops won't tolerate actual violence, but they also don't want to drag someone off to jail for a spat that will a) give an otherwise okay person an arrest record and b) have the charges dropped with the spouse cools off.

Those are the good intentions. We know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and these are not exempt.

(Please, please do not accuse me of minimizing the importance of the OP. I get it. I'm just tossing out the other side.)

[LisaLynne]

4. Eh, could be for some individual cops, but you do realize until disgustingly recently,

the law did not recognize that one spouse could rape another, don't you? It's been a struggle to get violence of one spouse against another to even be recognized, so I think that's much more of the issue than that some cops not wanting to ... well, whatever it is that you think they don't want to do -- arrest someone over a "spat", I guess.

Also, when the spouse "cools off" a lot of time, it's due to the relationship being abusive in general and just not wanting to suffer the consequences for leaving the abuser in jail for a time when he will get out and be able to retaliate.

[BlueJazz]

3. I've always thought the term "domestic violence" had a Homey sound to it

Like it's not real violence but just that home violence...like when Joe gets angry and says Oh poop!
..or worse Joe puts his fist through the wall. Tsk Tsk.

Maybe "House Beating and Maiming"

or "Attempted home spouse disfiguring"

[Mister Ed]

5. And I would like to do away with battered women's shelters.

I remember, about twenty years ago, reading a newspaper article about (forgive me) domestic violence, which included a quote that has always stuck with me. The quote was from an interview with a tough, grizzled police sargeant in Ohio, who had worked those cases for twenty years.

He said angrily, "Look, I'm sick of hearing from people who think we need more funding for battered women's shelters. We don't need any more shelters for battered women. We need shelters for batterers. We need to get those shelters built, we need to make sure they're adequately staffed, and we need to get the batterers into them."

"Those shelters", he went on, "Are known as jails."

[morningfog]

6. The reason is because, historically, it has been accepted for a man to beat his wife.

It would not have been grounds for an arrest or prosecution. It is still the case in many parts of the country. We have to have domestic violence laws on the books. It was only recently that date rape and spousal rape were clearly defined and added to laws.

I wish the term domestic violence would go away, but for different reasons.

[Mnemosyne]

10. The Rule of Thumb. nt

[treestar]

7. Aren't they just trying to classify it as opposed to

street violence? I don't see any attempt to treat it as lesser, by the term, at least.

Another thing - assault and battery charges are made. It is not just counseling.

[Warpy]

8. Well, a woman (or man) who presses charges against a street assailant

doesn't get discharged from the hospital to his (or her) home. That is one difference.

Another difference is that a court has a bias toward keeping families intact for the sake of any children in the home, never mind seeing a parent beaten is extremely toxic to those children.

Personally, I find the areas where the victims don't press charges, the police who see evidence of violence do, to be among the more humane places for battered spouses to live. The track record of such laws in Quincy, Mass, where they were first written, is excellent.

Expecting a spouse to be the one to press charges against someone s/he is currently living with is the problem with DV laws as they are written.

[musical_soul]

9. Domestic Violence is of a different nature than other assault and battery.....

DV is about controlling your partner through fear, and the fear is justified. DV is more likely to get a woman murdered than anything else. However, the word "domestic" does get used to excuse cops not doing their jobs and courts not giving violators a real sentence. The sentences given to dv violators is a joke. That's why it's important for women (and men who are abused) to seek the assistance of those in charge of women's shelters.

[Flying Squirrel]

11. In my state (WA) they don't ask if the spouse wants to press charges

Charges are pressed by the state. And if the police are called to a scene and there's evidence of physical violence, someone is required to be taken to jail from the scene.