Paula Deen ate my teenage daughter By Mark Morford
" target="blank">Burger King home delivery! That's right, America's No. 3 fast food death machine is testing the bringing of Whoppers, BK Stackers and other grease-related, food-like items that are so full of salt and sugar and fat and synthetic hormones they will make your blood turn into glue and your face turn into Paula Deen, straight to your door!
It's totally wonderful and awesome in the way that getting a free colonoscopy with every punch in the face is awesome, in the same way that every hit of meth rots out one more tooth is awesome, in the same way that being Newt Gingrich's miserable third wife must be totally awesome.
Best part: you barely have to lift a finger. Just enough to tap a few buttons on the site/app, and within an hour, not-so-fast food will be killing you and your family faster than you can say "Damn liberals stop telling me what to eat!"
In related news, Taco Bell has reportedly developed a method of cramming its patented, fake taco meat into .44 caliber bullet casings, which, for $.99 a round, it will shoot straight in your heart over and over again, until you collapse. The Taco Bulleto is coming soon to a drive-by near you. ...
(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2012/01/25/notes012512.DTL&nl=fix)