I need some encouragement from DU

[loyalkydem]

I hate to say this boys and girls but I am starting to lose hope for this country. I have three strikes against me. I'm black, I'm gay, and I'm fat. I've been attacked by trolls online because of my sexuality. I've been attacked by trolls online because of my support for the President and I've been attacked for defending those who support the President.

Some days I feel so very alone in this fight. I have to keep reminding myself that this is 2012 and yet the way I been treated and the way I see Republicans who hate the president call him every name but a child of god it makes me lose hope. Am I the only one with these views? Am I crazy for feeling the way that I feel right now?

I just want to live in a world where I'm accepted for who I am and not because I happen to like people who are the same sex of me. I want us all to love each other and look out for each other. Is this so hard for me to ask?

A seriously bummed Cordell who now lives in North Carolina.

[ann---]

1. My first impulse is to

suggest you move from the South. You'll never find acceptance there. And - secondly, accept yourself for what you are and don't care what others think. What others think does not make you what you are.

[lunatica]

2. You say you want acceptance

But do you realize the kind of scumbag you'd have to be to be accepted by horrible homophobic, judgemental racists?

The fact that they hate you is a true badge of honor. I would learn to wear it with pride. It means you're not like them. Which means you're infinitely better than they are in my eyes.

[union_maid]

4. +1

Well said and very good points.

[union_maid]

3. Might take a while for NC to get there

We are a very divided country. The shock of having an AA president along with widespread acceptance of gay marriage, let alone gay people, has made the conservatives even crazier than usual. Of course, a lot of the left could improve in the area of accepting all sizes and shapes of people, too, but I do think that's a minority.

All I can tell you is that there's nothing in your description that would be hard for me or anyone I respect to fully accept. I'm really sorry that you feel that way. You can't worry about the country as a whole right now. We are, really and truly as the president says, moving forward. They have disrespected him in the worst ways possible, but he has gotten the best revenge just by being re-elected. And if it's any comfort at all, in my experience, even in years when we lose electorally and even legislatively, social issues just continue to move forward no matter who's in charge.

I hope you're able to find enough people who are likeminded IRL as well as online so you can feel less bummed and more hopeful. This is a good time for us. It's just not an easy time, but I don't think there are many of those.

[LisaLynne]

5. It's hard to alone.

But you're not alone in the fight. You really aren't.

We all get down sometimes and it will pass. It's impossible to take all of the crap that some of the people in this country think day after day and eventually, yeah, it takes a toll on those of us who are sincere, really care about this country and its people, and want society to move forward. And it's hard to just "focus on the positives" sometimes, although that is probably what we should do. Sometimes, you just can't.

Sometimes, I too feel like I just can't take the suffering or the hatred in this world anymore, but I guess right now we have no choice. We have to work at what we can, but we're never going to be able to change those who are caught up in fear and hate. They have the change themselves. Some do, some don't. So, I guess my point is that we will always have times when we just get fed up and can't take it anymore, but we have to just pull back, gather our strength and then head back out there. Do you have places/people to be around where you feel safe and accepted? I personally just head out in nature by myself sometimes, just to recharge. that's the important thing -- having a retreat, even if it's just your favorite movie on TV alone in your home.

The other thing I would say is that if you're mostly being attacked and exposed to these things online and that's getting you down right now, take a break from the internet. Trolls are trolls -- they just want to get a reaction and being a flipping a-hole on the internet is a way for a coward to do that. They would never dare say the things they post IRL, to someone's face, even if they really feel the way they claim to feel (which in some cases, they don't -- they JUST want to be an ass). I've had to pull back from being online at times because people are just meaner online because they feel safe from reprisal and so many people treat it like a joke.

[BeyondGeography]

6. They're outnumbered, Cordell

Obama just got re-elected. Think about it; a biracial President whose citizenship was questioned by a fair number of his wild-eyed opponents defeated a rich white entitled pirate, and it wasn't even that close. This country is dragging itself out of the muck, slowly but surely.

You think you feel bad...think about how bad all those fools feel.

But that's not the way to look at it. Obama is a good and decent man, and many people love him for that because they are good and decent, too, like yourself. Obama speaks often about the task of perfecting our union. Imagine a President with such a high-minded goal. I'm 53 and I've never seen a President put that goal at the heart of his office the way he has, and I never expect to see it again. Only someone who has profoundly suffered at the hands of this imperfect union would think like that. He will leave this world a lot better than he found it, and he will have played a role in that progress. And so will all those who supported him for the right reasons.

You care, I care, we care. We have a President who cares. He gets beaten up from every angle, including here on this board. I've even taken a few cuts myself. But I am going into full support mode, because he has earned it. He has walked through fire to keep this job. Our struggles are not his, but he does struggle. In fact, the most moving thing about the convention this year was Michelle's speech about the struggle. Hang in there, Cordell, everyone has a burden, and there are lots of people who understand, right on up to the President of the United States. Try to enjoy this rare moment of power comprehending people. It will not last forever.

[bemildred]

7. You should move somewhere more friendly. nt

[davidpdx]

8. Take pride in the fact that you supported President Obama and he is the right person to be

leading our country.

As for the online trolls, fuck'em (see video 2).

(I've written some additional comments, but decided instead to send them to you in a private message. Please check your inbox).

Meanwhile, have a laugh or two:

&feature=relmfu

[marions ghost]

9. Hate and prejudice

exist everywhere in the world. It's depressing to all of us who know how destructive and narrow-minded it is.

We are all challenged to spread love rather than hate in this world. Focus on that and find your supporters. We are here.

Never give up that vision of a saner, better, happier world. I believe it is coming. But did you expect it to happen without a fight?

Be strong in the face of hate. Suggest to find a support group of real people even if you have to travel to find them.

[loyalkydem]

10. Thanks guys

I only moved home because of health reasons. My family has been wonderful. I'm more concerned of these folks who just can't seem to accept me because I'm so knowledgeable about the news. All this talk of succession and white people wanting to start a race war but blame it on "the blacks" really bothers me.

I sometimes get discouraged from wanting to engage them.

[lunatica]

11. Wanting to engage them is your first mistake

Learning to let them go because it's their choice to hate is the correct course of action. Being gay and Black isn't a choice. Hating gays and Blacks is.

Accepting things as they are goes a very long way towards making your life better. You aren't making them hate you. Remember that they choose to hate you. Only they can change their minds.

[bemildred]

12. +1. nt

[elehhhhna]

19. + ONE MILLION ... and ...

c'mon, cordell, they're creepy people anyway and you don't need their approval - you probably don't really LIKE THEM, anyway! Just be.

[ann---]

15. Ignore them

engaging bigots takes up time, energy and oxygen from your life. Let them stew in their own hate. It will eat them alive.

[OneGrassRoot]

13. {{{{{Cordell}}}}}

I'm in NC, too. I am so, so sorry. I hear you. Certain areas of NC are especially difficult places to be for those of us who choose love, not fear (i.e., aren't racist bigots).

Maybe we're close enough that I can give you a real-life hug one day?

Until then, please remember:

[JaneyVee]

14. There are over 65Million+ who have your back.

Stay strong.

[Liberal_in_LA]

16. ..

[Arugula Latte]

17. (((Hugs)))

I hope you can soon find some like-minded people to hang out with.

[redwitch]

18. In other words you are just a regular person.

There are more of us than them. Courage my friend.

[Replyallcalypse]

20. Rule #1... you are NOT black, fat or gay.

Do not let what other people think define you. Do not put yourself in that box. You have limitless possibilities.... every moment is an opportunity, every opportunity a chance to be whatever you dream to be... just be. Those who judge are stuck in a repetitive reality... never considering the possibilities.

[hlthe2b]

24. That's a nice philosophy... Welcome to DU

[Vanje]

21. You ARE fat, black and Gay

and this old red-state Lesbian Loves that!
I would NOT have you any other way.

I'm glad you're here.

Come and visit DU's LGBT group. Introduce yourself. We're FRIENDLY!

[RebelOne]

22. So why should the fact that you are fat, black and gay matter?

I could care less. I have had a lot of fat friends, black friends and gay friends.

[Vanje]

23. How very nice for you.

nt