LOL! The National Park Service, with humor and advice

[highplainsdem]

Link to tweet

There were three tweets with advice after that. Full text of the thread:

National Park Service
@NatlParkService

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.


We’ve all walked through a web. Here are a few tips to get through it. Well, you already went through it, but...

🕸️As you walk down a trail, use a stick to make first contact with potential webs.


🕸️Sleep in and let the early risers clear the trail for you. Or bring a (We’re not going to say it. Rhymes with wall) friend with you and put them up front.


🕸️Keep in mind the average spider can spin or repair a web in about 30 to 60 minutes. Something to consider if you'll be coming back the same way.

Good advice...though as someone who's tall, I consider the second suggestion in the next-to-last tweet there discriminatory.

[usonian]

1. I clear paths here at my "Ponderosa Ranch" with a stick.

Also from NPS: (humor, I think)



For real. I just snapped it.

[TheBlackAdder]

6. Just switch to running shoes.

Old joke.

Two hikers are in the woods and come across a bear who is stomping its feet and grunting.
The one hiker looks to their friend and sees them putting on running shoes.
They say, "Hey, you can't outrun a bear."
Their friend says, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

[shrike3]

14. A guide in Alaska told us, "When you're in bear country, be sure to bring a .22 and a friend."

"A .22?" my husband said, much more knowledgeable about guns than I am.

"Yes," said the guide. "You see a bear, you shoot your friend in the foot, and you run."

[Wonder Why]

21. Wrong! Bears like fast food.

[TheBlackAdder]

22. 🤣 Oh, they might also like Slo Ribs too.

[Traildogbob]

2. Here is a spider experiment for you

A coworker BFF showed me this that he did as a scout leader. We did it with our college students on the many camp trips we did each semester.
At night Go outside in a wooded area, even a grassy yard.
Take a small pin light, using the narrow beam, place it next to your eye against your temple and shine it at a 45 degree angle towards the ground.
You will see hundreds of glowing pairs of spider eyes reflecting back at you from every direction. Then slowly walk to each set, get close and every time you will locate the spider behind its eyes.
The shear number of spiders everywhere, will terrify you if you have arachnophobia.
I never attempted it inside my house, I don’t wanna know.
Have fun!!!🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️😱😱😱

[Hermit-The-Prog]

4. I've noticed that while walking the dogs at night. Tiny little reflectors everywhere.

[Richard D]

7. I have heard . . .

. . . that a person is never more than a few feet from a spider.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

12. We had a heavy fog one morning last week...

This was at the edge of a field full of spiderwebs made visible by the fog.

[Traildogbob]

15. Remember last year

In the SE of the U.S. When we were given a high alert warning about an invasion of parachuting spiders that could cover small cities under an elaborate web system?

[Katcat]

5. Uh Uh

I don’t wanna know and that’s final

[et tu]

3. i'm height impaired

so i'll bring a _all friend with me and a stick- over achiever- lol

[SCantiGOP]

8. Bigot

Blatant case of heightism. 😠

[et tu]

19. hey i got called something

usually i'm just overlooked lol

[JoseBalow]

20. I heard what you did there

[csziggy]

9. As a kid I used to go trail riding through tree covered paths

We'd ride along old phosphate dykes that had oak trees growing up along the edges of the maintenance roads. They were perfect places for the spiders to build their huge webs all the way across the roads.

The group of riders would pick the one with the tallest horse (me) to go first and to carry a long stick to knock down spider webs. Problem was, the big banana spiders (golden orb weavers) would often jump off their webs onto the the stick, run down the stick to bite the person holding it. Those MFers HURT!

I learned to watch out for the spiders and how to brush the stick against a branch to knock the spider off before it got to my hand.

I also got the job of being flag bearer for our 4-H troop at parades and horse shows because of the practice I got being a spider web waver.

[coprolite]

10. I found that a weekend campout

with a troop of Webelos will scare off any wildlife with 2 square miles and they will clear the trail of any webs and dew on the encroaching vegitation.

[IronLionZion]

11. Sleeping in is a sound strategy

let the early risers clear the trail for me. I feel a lot of bad things happen early in the morning when animals and serial killers are finishing up after a murderous night.

[PatSeg]

13. Ha, ha, ha!

Thanks for posting!

[CrispyQ]

16. I love this!!

Never forget they led the resistance! From the 2017 Woman's March:

[Permanut]

17. I volunteered to be the tall guy..

Once.

[A HERETIC I AM]

18. I've lived in Florida on and off my whole life

Learned the stick thing when I was little!

Often when you walk into a web in the woods in Florida, you’ll have walked into a Banana spider’s web.

Their bodies can get as big as your finger with a leg spread as big as your hand.