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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBREAKING NEWS: Texas Governor proposes ban on vasectomies.
In a rather startling development, Texas Governor Greg Abbott is proposing to the Texas legislature a law that would, under penalty of 5 years in prison, a ban on vasectomies for all males, regardless of social status, color, or income, or age. The proposal comes at a time when women in the state are banned from having abortions. The governor, who has vehemently denied rumors that he's fathered 9 children out of wedlock, announced his proposal at a state-wide convocation for the One Night Stand Brotherhood, a newly formed association of men committed to fathering children at any cost. "It's only right," remarked the Governor, "that every God-given sacred sperm be protected from neglect, misuse, and an early death. When God told us to populate the Earth, it's our duty to take His command seriously. If women can be charged with a felony for having an abortion, it's only proper that men conform with prohibitions on reproductive freedom."
Senator Tommy Tubes of Louisiana wholly concurred with the proposed law. "This vasectomy movement has got to stop. Men can't just drop into a clinic and walk out half a man. And for what?"
However, Governor Abbott's sudden advocacy for gender equality was not received well by all segments of the electorate. A group of 50 armed men congregated in front of the governor's mansion demanding that the bill be snipped in the bud. One of the leaders of the group, Harold Lightrod, momentarily pointed his rifle downward and angrily shouted, "How dare the Governor try to take away our freedoms! We have a right to do whatever we want with our bodies. And does anyone really think that men will stop getting vasectomies just because this idiot governor thinks he can control our lives? Let me tell you. Where there's a will, there's a way."
The Texas legislature scheduled a debate on the bill on February 14, Valentine's Day.
Aristus
(66,467 posts)Is this The Onion? Borowitz?
Fools some DUers every time
Aristus
(66,467 posts)That's the problem with American political life today. Satire is supposed to be outrageous and over-the-top, but still recognizable as satire.
When one can't tell the difference anymore, a dark age is surely approaching.
Celerity
(43,545 posts)LeftInTX
(25,567 posts)TwilightZone
(25,485 posts)There have already been four. He's already threatened to call for a fifth if he didn't get his way on subsidies for private schools, though he hasn't brought that up for a while.
ProfessorGAC
(65,212 posts)There are tells. One is "Senator Tommy Tubes...".
Martin Eden
(12,875 posts)God gets quite irate!
Does Abbott also want to outlaw the French Tickler rubber thingyTexas men like to put on their John Thomas?
Jobs could be created removing coin operated dispensers from restrooms at gas stations.
edhopper
(33,625 posts)maybe that will wake up Texas voters. If not, it's on them for keeping these cretins in office.
Probatim
(2,543 posts)zanana1
(6,129 posts)They'd be wasting "sacred sperm".
Paladin
(28,276 posts)So there would be an up-side.
Buns_of_Fire
(17,197 posts)some of these guys will be looking at hard time right up until the sun goes dark.
Some allowances will be made for nocturnal emissions, since the felon wasn't in complete control (although they were obviously having impure dreams). Involuntary spermslaughter will only mandate a five-year sentence per sperm, so they'll be getting off light. So to speak.
Eyeball_Kid
(7,434 posts)Response to Eyeball_Kid (Original post)
LuckyCharms This message was self-deleted by its author.
PCIntern
(25,592 posts)Really
Eyeball_Kid
(7,434 posts)CaliforniaPeggy
(149,719 posts)Eugene
(61,964 posts)Aristus
(66,467 posts)n/t
Captain Zero
(6,826 posts)This is the kind of wack they are attracted to already...
TeamProg
(6,254 posts)CTyankee
(63,912 posts)republianmushroom
(13,704 posts)keithbvadu2
(36,937 posts)Response to Eyeball_Kid (Original post)
bif This message was self-deleted by its author.
Stargazer99
(2,599 posts)Are these men insane forcing more births...there is more to being a father than just sex. I talked to a minister to jailed men and most had bad or no relationship to their fathers...why do some people ignore what is right in their face? Ignorance or love of tormenting the hell out of the vunerable
Eyeball_Kid
(7,434 posts)back in the 1970s the ZPG (zero population growth) had legs. But when Ronald Reagan teamed with the evangelicals, the ZPG movement was marginalized as whacko and overpopulation became our long-term, silent killer. Now the anti-reproductive freedom movement is targeting contraception as the next taboo practice. Call me crazy, but this is nuts (and suicidal).
Stinky The Clown
(67,819 posts)When satire is mistaken - at least at first - for the truth, it is good satire.
This is good satire.
Midnight Writer
(21,803 posts)UnderThisLaw
(318 posts)until the part about Abbott having enough sex out of wedlock to father nine children
Dulcinea
(6,666 posts)Louis1895
(768 posts)DemocraticPatriot
(4,428 posts)"One Night Stand Brotherhood" LOL
Quixote1818
(28,979 posts)Earth-shine
(4,044 posts)... even as satire.
Response to Eyeball_Kid (Original post)
JudyM This message was self-deleted by its author.