I'm a gay Black Jew, and I feel abandoned by the allies I've supported for years

[Behind the Aegis]

When you’re living at the front lines of intersectionality like I do as a gay Black Jew, you learn early on that no one is coming to your rescue. This is how I feel about Israel right now. While the last two horrible weeks have included some commendable allyship, they have also revealed a level of indifference and disbelief to Jewish pain that extends beyond my darkest nightmares.

From mass anti-Zionist protests to relentless antisemitic social media posts, folks that Jews have championed during their gravest hours have turned their backs on us with soul-crushing ease.

It’s not everyone, of course; numerous levelheaded leaders from every sector have shown up —- heroes like Floyd Mayweather, the former professional boxer who brought a private jet worth of supplies for the Israeli military on Sunday, and Rep. Ritchie Torres, a New York Democrat who proclaimed Oct. 7 another day that will “live in infamy” and denounced the Democratic Socialists of America for indoctrinating young people against Israel.

But they are overshadowed by disappointment — disappointment that has me questioning the value of humanity and left me barely able to sleep — from those I’d hoped would be on my side when the unthinkable happens. And the unthinkable has clearly taken place.

more...

[agingdem]

1. you're not alone.....

My daughter lives in Atlanta...while grocery shopping, she passed a women with an "I stand with Israel" button pinned to her sweater...when my daughter pulled up to a checkout line, she heard yelling..a black woman was shouting at the white woman with the pin "No water until you get your people back!"..she shouted this over an over again and within minutes there was chorus of shoppers, black and white, chanting "No water until you get your people back!"...and the women with the pin said "Amen"...

I am the child of Holocaust survivors (Auschwitz)...my parents died years ago, but my daughter remembers her grandparents, and like me, she can still recite the numbers tattooed on their arms ...so when she heard "No water until you get your people back!" she thought of her grandparents and thanked the Black woman who understood why Israel exists...

[Sympthsical]

2. It's funny you posted this op-ed

This past week, I saw someone (here, no less) say they supported Louis Farrakhan because of what he has done for their community.

I bit my tongue real, real hard. Apparently "the community" doesn't have any Jewish or LGBT members in this person's world.

Intersectionality is kind of imploding during this. Lots of collateral damage being done by the ideological shrapnel being thrown off with trying to mash complicated situations into a one size fits all ideology.

I know you and I have had conversations about antisemitism in academia and the radical Left before while few to no one else chimed in or seemed to recognize it or care. Welp, the current situation seems to have torn up the rug, and all that bigoted dust that's been swept under it over the years is getting kicked up into the air and sunshine.

People didn't see this antisemitic boil that desperately needs lancing, because they willed themselves not to notice it. It didn't serve political, narrative, or ideological purpose.

[JI7]

3. What's crazy is people bringing up things like colonialism , slavery etc

when a minority either defends or doesn't hate Israel.

It wasn't the jews that enslaved and invaded others. It was Christianity and Islam that did that.

[Elessar Zappa]

5. What also gets me is some people saying this is just a war between religions.

Do they realize that it’s not Judaism that people are fighting for? It’s for the right of Jewish people to exist and live in peace and that includes many, many atheist, agnostic, and otherwise secular Jews.

[Elessar Zappa]

4. It's very sad.

Seems that anti-semitism is a prejudice that some (not all or even most) progressives support or at least turn a blind eye toward.

[AloeVera]

24. I beg to disagree

Disagreement with and even condemnation of the policies and practices of the Israeli state is not a form of anti-semitism or prejudice. It is an affirmation and a fight for basic human rights.

The sad part to me is that just by making this factual statemement here, I run the risk of being run out of town.

[yardwork]

33. I haven't seen or felt that.

[jcgoldie]

6. Floyd Mayweather is a serial domestic abuser

Not a "hero."

[Elessar Zappa]

8. That's all you took from the article?

[EllieBC]

7. I feel this. And it's why some of us are now

withholding our support and financial donations to various causes. The world likes us as convenient token friends or as donors or as someone they can pity. And that’s it.

[oldsoftie]

19. Yes; its time to "defund" these organizations that are open with their bigotry.

The Huntsman family has donated 10s of millions to U Pa & they've said "no more"
A Stanford ( I think ) law prof has openly said "Dont hire my students" because of their anti semitic acts & words. Why would you want someone like that to represent you?
Harvard has been getting HUGE pressure from a few of their major donors. Of course, Harvard is sitting on billions anyway.

The biggest massacre since the Holocaust deserves condemnation from EVERYONE.

[betsuni]

28. Agree.

[LexVegas]

9. Antisemitism is always simmering below the surface. nt

[chouchou]

10. Keep in mind that a large segment ..

...of the population has little knowledge/history of not just the areas around the Gaza strip, but
(probably) most of the entire middle east.
People being people tend to hang their opinions with other friends and neighbors who might
just don't know what-the-hell-that-they're talking about.
I mean, look at the thoughts nowadays regarding immigrants.
"There's 6 times the Mexicans coming over the border now"
Oh Brother..

[JoseBalow]

11. I'm confused, are you the author?

Did you write the published op-ed?

[Joinfortmill]

12. Stay strong. We're here.

[Warpy]

13. Too many people are basing their opinions on trash from social media

and that trash has come from both sides. I won't way there is equality, but there is some equivalence as all of it is calculated to provoke an emotional response that characterizes the other side as subhuman.

People are suckers for that stuff in every war. In this one, the truth is actually worse, IMO, but people run with the dehumanizing stuff, instead. This is why the usual allies have said stupid stuff.

Eventually the truth will start to creep in.

[Sky Jewels]

14. I'm so sorry you feel abandoned.

I hope you can separate true antisemitism from long-simmering anger with the Israeli government’s treatment of Palestinians over decades. It might be that what you interpret from some people as anti-Jewish sentiment is not that at all. Those things are two separate issues and should not be lumped together. I have Jewish friends and relatives who are speaking out against the Israeli-US response and mass punishment of all of Gaza. I also have Jewish friends who are 100 percent on board with the response. It’s a horribly fraught and complicated topic.

[Act_of_Reparation]

15. Social media is not representative of the wider population.

These views and stories get traction in the media because they're provocative. The overwhelming majority of Americans, including a majority of Democrats, feel Israel's response to the recent Hamas attacks is justified.

[SouthernDem4ever]

16. Back when I was in college in the early 80's

And CNN was still a fairly new network, all my fellow students of Arab descent were always trying to rally us around the fact that they were the persecuted and the Jewish state was to blame. It didn't serve to clarify the situation but I did feel funny about the fact that all I heard from them was anti-Jewish rhetoric but never heard anything like that about muslims from the Jewish students. Watching this unfold over the last fifty years of my life, I always held hope that there would be a solution acceptable to everyone and they could live together in peace. I am still waiting but it seems pretty hopeless when one group wants to just annihilate the other - and I'm not talking about the Israelis. Today I have to turn a blind eye to the rhetoric and accept the fact of what has happened and what is still the goal of Hamas and possibly other Arab leaders. When I see they no longer cheer for Israeli deaths, I might start to think otherwise.

[Otterdaemmerung]

17. I'm disturbed by the author's line of reasoning.

Basically, the author is saying, "I'm a gay Black Jew, and Israel is the only nation in the Middle East that supports LGBT+ people. So if you support Palestinians, you're supporting the oppression of LGBT+ people."

That's not cogent logic.

Okay. I myself am a white, gay agnostic. While I understand the conflicts that have led Hamas to attack Israel, I don't condone it. While I acknowledge the suffering of the Palestinian people, I also believe that Hamas' terrorist actions are stupidly counterproductive, sabotaging decades of careful negotiations. But neither does Israel have the right to practice apartheid, nor to demand a mass evacuation from Gaza. The two factions - Israelis and Palestinians - need to understand that they have no choice but to share both land and government in peace. To paraphrase Shakespeare, a pox on both their houses.

However, most importantly, just because I'm gay, it doesn't mean I'm going to take the Israeli side. I will support the natural rights of the Palestinian people, even if they wouldn't in theory support mine. And the Muslim world is changing: LGBT-friendly mosques and LGBT imams do exist. Treating the Islamic world like it's going to be forever backwards does nothing but further marginalize them and make them distrustful of the West, when they need to be brought kicking and screaming into the present day and force them to face a diverse world.

[Gaugamela]

20. Thank you for posting this. Nuance seems to be a rare commodity around

this topic.

[oldsoftie]

21. Are these LGBT friendly mosques in the Middle East?

because in Gaza you'd likely be put to death

[Otterdaemmerung]

22. I don't see how that's even remotely relevant.

Last edited Thu Oct 19, 2023, 09:38 PM - Edit history (1)

My point is that my support for someone's civil rights are not be predicated on their support of mine, but because their rights are inherently valid, regardless.

The LGBT-friendly mosques I've read about have been in the US, Canada, UK, and in Europe. And Tel Aviv, reportedly the most LGBT-friendly city in the Middle East and possibly one of the most affirming in the world, is only a short distance away from Gaza and also from Jerusalem, which has an anti-LGBT reputation itself. Not all Muslims are anti-LGBT and there are plenty of anti-LGBT people in Judaism and Christianity. Moreover, it seems that those who seem to enjoy needling us about how anti-LGBT Muslims are, are some of the most anti-LGBT people themselves!

If you're going to automatically judge all Muslims by their nastiest, most repressive, most extremist factions, then why don't you view Jews and Christians similarly?

[oldsoftie]

30. Maybe the difference is the official policy of many Muslim countries

is that simply having a partner will get you a death sentence. Or maybe a stoning or flogging
Certainly EVERY Western country has their issues with anti-gay bigotry & hate crimes. But not as part of their official policies.
And dont forget, the official position of Hamas & other "leadership" groups is to not only eliminate Israel but kill ALL the Jews. You're certainly not going to see gay people get any fair treatment at all under these leaders

[SouthernDem4ever]

23. My first thought too

This is also a culture that puts women to death for adultery even if it's just perceived.

[oldsoftie]

31. And thats a MAJOR problem. Forgot about that.

Not to mention FGM being a serious abuse problem even HERE in the US among close knit communities.

[LexVegas]

25. "While I understand the conflicts that have led Hamas to attack Israel, I don't condone it."

[Jedi Guy]

26. "...they need to be brought kicking and screaming into the present day and force them to face a diverse world."

And how, pray tell, will dragging them kicking and screaming (i.e., against their will) into the present day not make them distrustful of the West, exactly?

To your other point, Islam and Muslims are not monolithic anymore than Christianity and Christians and Judaism and Jews are monolithic. Within each group are subgroups that are friendly, or at least tolerant, of the LGBT community. Muslims living in Europe, for instance, are at least roughly split on the issue, though narrow majorities favor homosexuality being made illegal.

However, there is widespread anti-LGBT sentiment across pretty much the entire Muslim population in the Middle East. The picture there is very different. There's no "in theory" about whether the majority of them support your human rights. They don't. These are the people you're talking about dragging kicking and screaming into the present day.

And perhaps the first step of that process is breaking the back of terrorist groups masquerading as governments, like Hamas.

[betsuni]

18. I've heard about this problem for years but didn't know enough about it, when it was

mentioned the person was scolded that it didn't exist, they just hate "progressives" or have personal grudges against so-and-so for no good reason and other personal insults. Now it's out in the open. I've learned a lot lately. Feel so sorry for people like the author.

"Indoctrinating young people against Israel." Other unfortunate indoctrinating, too. Leaders and organizations that young people listen to have the unique chance to inspire and educate. When they fail to do that, what a wasted opportunity.

[elias7]

27. If this is you, I'm with you

in at least one intersection. The attack and response in the Middle East is less painful to me than the voices and expression of anger and certainty in those I thought were allies as well has shaken me. I appreciate all of your posts

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

29. kick for more to read

[ShazzieB]

32. K & R

I really feel for this author and for everyone who is feeling betrayed and abandoned by people taking black and white, unnuanced stances on what's happening in Israel.

I support the black community, the LGBTQ+ community, and the Jewish community, and I hate to see any of those communities at odds with each other.