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Last edited Tue Nov 13, 2012, 07:08 PM - Edit history (1)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-horrified-to-learn-about-war-in-afghanistan,30367/Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal
NOVEMBER 13, 2012 | ISSUE 4846
Sources: Petraeus Knew About Affair For More Than A Year
WASHINGTONAs they scoured the Internet for more juicy details about former CIA director David Petraeus affair with biographer Paula Broadwell, Americans were reportedly horrified today upon learning that a protracted, bloody war involving U.S. forces is currently raging in the nation of Afghanistan. Oh my God, this is terrible, Allie Lipscomb, 29, said after accidentally stumbling on an article about the war while she tried to ascertain details about what specific sexual acts Petraeus and Broadwell might have engaged in. According to this, 2,000 American troops have died, 18,000 have been wounded, and more than 20,000 civilians have been killed. Jesus Christ. And its been happening for, like, 11 years. Sources confirmed that after reading a few paragraphs about the brutal war, the nation quickly became distracted by a headline about Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clashs alleged sexual abuse of a 16-year-old boy.
flamingdem
(39,321 posts)should include plane tickets to the middle east, americans are way too cloistered!
leftstreet
(36,112 posts)alcibiades_mystery
(36,437 posts)Poll_Blind
(23,864 posts)PB
joeybee12
(56,177 posts)Tx4obama
(36,974 posts)rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)FailureToCommunicate
(14,022 posts)defacto7
(13,485 posts)it's a pretty good exposé on war, apathy and titillating bull shit.
geckosfeet
(9,644 posts)madinmaryland
(64,933 posts)Nailed it, before the disaster had even started.
Hissyspit
(45,788 posts)Scalded Nun
(1,239 posts)when I read that way back when. Now I just cry whenever I see it.
Never before has satire so painfully and accurately foreseen the future.
Selatius
(20,441 posts)Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)that was when I started to take the onion "seriously", instead of simply seeing it as the equivalent of a mock student-run paper
azurnoir
(45,850 posts)kudo's to the Onion
AnotherMcIntosh
(11,064 posts)Stryder
(450 posts)Ya gotta have your priorities.
Besides I hear Lady Gaga is planning a wardrobe malfunction
on a special edition of American Idol set to air on anniversary of the
Balloon Boy near national tragedy.
SpartanDem
(4,533 posts)nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)rudycantfail
(300 posts)libdem4life
(13,877 posts)he had to prove himself daffy to get the job. Comedy Central...Colbert and Stewart.
lunatica
(53,410 posts)that a chair said it. LOL!
Hissyspit
(45,788 posts)Hissyspit
(45,788 posts)navarth
(5,927 posts)I just spent the better part of an hour giggling at the onion.
russspeakeasy
(6,539 posts)OnyxCollie
(9,958 posts)Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)Scruffy Rumbler
(961 posts)Maybe more US Americans need more maps and math.... or something!
Love the Onion and spot on!