Borowitz: The Republicans’ Closing Argument

[highplainsdem]

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/11/the-republicans-closing-argument.html

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—With only one day until the election, the Republican Party today released its official closing argument to the American people.

In its entirety, the argument read as follows: “We’re strongly opposed to FEMA and health care, but basically O.K. with rape.”

Reince Priebus, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, said that the Party’s message of “zero tolerance toward disaster relief combined with a more easygoing attitude about rape” would lead the Party to victory on Election Day.

“Our argument couldn’t be simpler: when God wants to create a hurricane or make a woman pregnant, big government should get out of the way,” he said.

-snip-

[thereismore]

1. And when a woman needs an abortion, we want the big government to step in. nt

[louis-t]

2. Ha! Borowitz....