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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBill Clinton To Unleash Irish Paramilitaries To Ensure Obama Victory
Some people have made some pretty bold claims about the 2012 election and our present-day electorate most polarized in history, blah blah blah ignoring the fact that America did once have an actual civil war, with hundreds of thousands dead, because many simply did not care for an election outcome (and also slavery). Its honestly like Americans dont even know how to run a civil war anymore! Thats why former president Bill Clinton has committed himself to whipping up racial paranoia among Americas most volatile and oppressed minority group the Irish in an attempt to unleash a wave of semtex bombings and assassinations by masked gunmen against any attempt to impose Romney rule!
The Troubles a decades-long, low-level civil war in Northern Ireland was one of several seemingly intractable problems that Bill Clinton solved during his presidency. This is public knowledge, but whats less well known is that he did it by defeating the leaders of the various Northern Irish factions in drunken, shirtless hand-to-hand combat in a secret fighting pit in the basement of Stormont Castle. In doing so, he became the ritual commander of both the Protestant and Catholic clans of that region, and was able to use his charismatic power to order them to cease killing one another. In Irish beliefs, any man who disobeys Bill Clintons commands will be kidnapped to Faerie by leprechauns.
Now Clinton is ready to direct Irish AK-47s at a new target: Mitt Romney......
Sources inside the Romney campaign indicate that the GOP candidate plans to unleash thousands of Norman bowman to put down the Celtic uprising and, if necessary, revive the headless body of Oliver Cromwell via dark Saxon magick. [IrishCentral]
http://wonkette.com/488633/bill-clinton-to-unleash-irish-paramilitaries-to-ensure-obama-victory
LibertyLover
(4,788 posts)but I think it's going to take more than dark Saxon magick to put Old Noll together again after his body was hung in chains and beheaded following the return of Charles II. Also, the Leechbook of Bald doesn't have a resurrection spell that I can remember. How to stop a child from wetting the bed and how to prevent a miscarriage, sure, but not bringing a dead body back to life. For that you need at least a saint.
Mc Mike
(9,115 posts)If you yell 'potato famine' at the Irish, like Belushi did in his 'Luck of the Irish' piece on Week-End Update, it scares us away.
Don't tell the bhoys who 'informed' you of this.