Cool Story Bro! (fantasy construct @ freepersville)

[Snarkoleptic]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2954148/posts
I have cut off all ties to my liberal friends except two. The only way we've remained friends the last four years is to not talk politics because when the least casual political topic arose, we would end up not speaking to each other for weeks. These two are as extreme left-wing as anyone can be. They are extreme morons politically.

The only reason I continued the relationship is that they are good people. I have always believed that they *think* they are left-wingers out of ignorance and possibly are one issue voters as they are two women living together for the last 25 years. If they could just be shown the light, they would vote differently. Perhaps I rationalized the relationship, but they have been good friends to me over the years. The help you bury the bodies type of friends.

They started a food trailer business with $20K seed money from a Conservative. They have since borrowed $2K from a Conservative sister and I have given them $10K. With the economy as it is, it has been a struggle for them.

They admitted tonight that they applied for all the various small business help they thought the Democrats would give them. The only people that helped them were we three Conservatives. Since they believed that Conservatives only cared about themselves and Democrats helped one another, it was a rude awakening. Last week they said they could not in good conscience negate the votes of those that helped them. They decided to stay home on election day.

Tonight they announced they have seen the light. The economy that they had stated in the past was fine, is killing them. They need the economy improved and the kicker... they need less government involvement in their business to succeed! They are voting for Romney on Nov 6.

It has renewed my faith in Americans. If these two are voting for Romney, he should win in a landslide.

[lolly]

1. You cut off the first sentence

You know, the one that said

"Dear Freeper Forum

I never thought this would happen to me, but....

[Snarkoleptic]

4. I think the likely reality was-

I was bendin' my pole watchin' my lesbian neighbors.
I once picked up their newspaper for a week while they were on vacation.
I sometimes half-heartedly wave to them when when I drive by.
I'm skeerd to talk to them in case teh gay is catching.

[ChoppinBroccoli]

2. Don't Buy It For A Second

Not one word of that little fictional exercise passes the "smell test."

[Rain Mcloud]

3. Mmmm Mmmmmm

Love the mungy taste of Freep-R Brand Bullshit Muffins.
Look for them in your local nut case.

[Snarkoleptic]

7. Gotta love the build...

Misguided libruls set right after they're befriended and bailed out by wealthy right-minded conservatives.

[proud2BlibKansan]

5. So he won't talk politics with them but he knows how they're voting?

That math doesn't compute.

[txdemsftw]

6. Yeahhhhhh...

I call straight up BS on that entire crap story.

[Snarkoleptic]

8. My fav parts are-

These two are as extreme left-wing as anyone can be. They are extreme morons politically.

They decided to stay home on election day.

They are voting for Romney on Nov 6.

WTF?

[txdemsftw]

9. LOL...

I was like "WTF?" the entire time I was reading that entire piece of garbage.

I swear, the stupid and just plain ass DUMB is strong there.

[caraher]

13. Gosh - isn't it obvious?

They're staying home because they voted absentee!

.
.
.
or the idiot just couldn't decide how to end the fairy tale...

[KharmaTrain]

10. Projection 101...

...it's the rushpublican's favorite game. Rushbo plays it daily when he somehow channels what a "liberal" is thinking. He gets downright clairvoyant...knowing every little thought that person has as if it is his own. Which...of course...it is.

Rushpublicans are trying to buck things up...projection and denial are all they have left...

[Hamlette]

11. So....they couldn't get help from the government so they are voting for the guy who won't fund

programs that could help them?

[ChoppinBroccoli]

12. Even Better

Members of the Party that doesn't believe in handouts just GAVE them $32,000, no questions asked, so they could buy one of those food trailers you see at the State Fair? Uh, yeah, I believe that.

And then turns around and says that the economy is so bad, but he's got $10,000 to just GIVE AWAY.

I'm also perplexed by, "they applied for all the various small business help they thought the Democrats would give them." I've been running a small business for over a decade and I have no idea what this person is talking about. What "small business help" is out there that you can apply for? The only thing I can even think of are small business LOANS, which are like any other kind of loan you have to go to the big banks for, hat in hand. If they couldn't qualify for a small business LOAN, then guess who's to blame? NOT the Democrats; try Big Finance. You know why they're allegedly borrowing money from "conservatives" instead of banks? It ain't the fault of the Democrats; try Big Finance. An additional little nugget: they're mad that the government didn't help them succeed, yet then goes on to say, "they need less government involvement in their business to succeed!" Brilliant.

Plus, the way he writes, "two women living together," indicates to me that they're lesbians. Yet they're voting for the guy who has no respect whatsoever for women's rights OR the rights of gay people.

The whole construct falls apart at the end, though, where he says, "If these two are voting for Romney, he should win in a landslide." Everyone knows Romney won't win in a landslide, and most semi-sentient beings realize Romney won't win at all. Therefore, according to Socratic logic (a reference that I'm sure would cause the author of this little fantasy piece to tilt his head like a confused dog), these two people are NOT voting for Romney.

"Extreme left-wingers" voting for Romney. Cool story bro.

[aletier_v]

14. Haha. I just read that one.

I like the articles on how Romney is winning in IA, OH, FL, CO, PA and WI.

Except everybody on FR seems kind of glum.

[DiverDave]

15. Lies

just a big fat lie.
But doesnt it make him look oh so good?
Thoughtful reasonable.
And,dang it, he just cant get it why they didnt see the light sooner.
But,see,with kind words,long term friendship and dont forget all the
conservative dough.
He's got a couple of converts.
And what a HELL of a guy.
I want HIM over for BBQ asap.