General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsOctober 2014 Hurricane Ann destroys Tampa, a storm victim calling one of President Rawmoney's
privatized disaster response corporations:
"Good morning! this is Tagg with Knee-Deep-In-Shit Disaster Relief Corporation of America a wholly -owned subsidiary of Bain Capital, how may we help you today!"
Victim: "Hurricane Ann blew away the west wall of my house, flooded the basement, left 4 feet of debris in the yard, and I can't find my husband or children I need help!"
KDIS Rep:"Okey-dokey then! do you want full disaster response? That includes, removing the debris from your yard, hanging tarp over the gaping West wall of your home until the rainy season passes,pump out the water, a slew of garage elevator repairmen standing by and we can file a missing persons report with local officials. We can start this today with a deposit of ten-thousand dollars. Can you give me a major credit card number?"
Victim: "What?" I have to come up with ten-thousand dollars?, Insurance should cover the damage, I can call the police myself if that is all you are going to do..."
KDIS Rep: Oh, then you'll want our boo-hoo-hoo, woe is me response. We'll send you a shovel, a hand pump and a disposable camera to take pictures of the property damage to send to your insurance company. That will be a mere one-thousand dollars."
"Have a good day 47-per-center"
HooptieWagon
(17,064 posts)They're called indoor swimming pools.
rustydog
(9,186 posts)OOPS! forgot to add: removing dead animals from "pool" 200.00 ea, humans 1,000.00 ea.
disposal of same: 500.00 each.
malaise
(268,999 posts)If you lost a wall press1; if the pool has dead aminals press 3; body in the attic for five days, press3, etc.
rustydog
(9,186 posts)I like this thread
lpbk2713
(42,757 posts)" ... if you really expect to get anywhere with this call, dial zero for a live operator. We could really use a good laugh"
malaise
(268,999 posts)Hugabear
(10,340 posts)nt