After Mourdock Rape Comments, God Distances Self from Christian Right

[WilliamPitt]

God Distances Self from Christian Right
The Onion
10/24/2012

THE HEAVENS—Responding to inflammatory remarks made by Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock during a debate Tuesday night, Our Lord God the Almighty Father sought today to distance Himself from both Mourdock and the entire right-wing fundamentalist Christian movement, sources confirmed.

“I want to make one thing absolutely clear: Mr. Mourdock’s comments from last night in no way reflect my position on this or any other issue,” said the Divine Creator, speaking at a press conference this afternoon to address Mourdock’s remarks that rape-induced pregnancies were God’s intent. “And furthermore, I would like to take this opportunity to say definitively that I, God, do not officially sanction or condone the words or actions of anyone involved in the fanatical, conservative Christian faction that Mr. Mourdock represents.”

“Many people hear my name in connection with the Christian Right and start to assume we are aligned in some capacity, and I’m here to say, for the record, that we are not,” God continued. “So let me just be clear: I don’t want women to get raped—not ever. I don’t think their resulting pregnancies are my divine will. And if a woman is raped, then she has the right to get an abortion, period. I do not agree with Mourdock. I do not agree with the Christian Right. End of story.”

Calling Mourdock’s comments “the last straw,” the Lord Our Maker explained that while in the past there have been a few areas where He and the religious Right have been in agreement, more often than not, in recent years, He and Christian conservatives have grown “actually quite far apart” on a wide range of issues.

The rest: http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-distances-self-from-christian-right,30087/

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Yay for the Onion!

It brings it home every time.

[Coyotl]

3. KOS

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/10/25/1150070/-Republican-menfolk-forgive-Mourdock-s-rape-is-a-gift-from-god-thing-so-it-s-all-good-now

Republican menfolk forgive Mourdock's 'rape is a gift from god' thing, so it's all good now

[Grey]

2. What He should have said.....

If a woman wants an abortion, for any reason, that should be her choice, Period! It's her body - Her choice. And that should be written in stone.

Not this namby-pamby statement. "And if a woman is raped, then she has the right to get an abortion, period." What a wuss.

[rustydog]

4. Ow! Bitch-slapped again by the Onion!

[begin_within]

5. In fact God hates all religions.

Religion only separates you from God and makes you submissive to whoever is operating the religion. All religions are cults because they are all built on belief systems. God would laugh his ass off at the very concept of religion.

[freshwest]

6. Ah, the Onion speaks truth to power again.

[L0oniX]

7. Real believers are also distancing themselves from the christian right and...

are even shying away from being associated with the word christian.

[MiddleFingerMom]

8. In a surprising turn of events, The Religious Right shuns God -- calling Him a socialist and...

.
.
.
... asking if ANYONE has ever seen His birth certificate.
.
.
.

[hrmjustin]

9. I love your post!

As a christian these bastards do not represent my faith at all. You get the sense that these people never read the Gospels.

[napkinz]

10. Why did it take God so long!

[napkinz]

11. kick

nt