Sad little RW "Little Red Hen" rewrite. Anyone want to try to steer it to the left?
"Who will help me plant my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself." She planted her crop and the wheat grew and
ripened.
"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.
"Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see.
They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share but the little red hen
said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves."
"Excess profits!" cried the cow..
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain..
And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around
the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
When the farmer came he said to the little red hen, "You must not be
so greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the farmer. "That is what makes our free enterprise
system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants.
But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must
divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle."
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who
smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."
But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked
bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the
Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.
Individual initiative had died but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared so
long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.
And perhaps....this is the end...................
And the next week, there was no bread, or anything else to eat. So, they all
starved equally.
Do we live in a great barnyard of what?!
= new reply since forum marked as read
...hen who did everything in every company.
He opened the doors, swept the floors, stocked the shelves, ordered, received, maintained inventory, does all of the customer service, always counts back the change, knows the answer to every Staples, Sensata, etc customer question, ships delivers, repairs, sells, advertises, etc, etc, etc....
No wonder the capitalists deserve all that they get. They don't need any of us. Let them do it all, all alone.
Notice the hen says "help me plant my wheat" and "blah blah blah my my my"
So the duck, pig and goose bust their ass helping plant. reap and bake. Then the hen eats up all 5 loaves and points to the crumbs left on the table and says " there's what I believe you 3 earned for your work."
When the pig, duck and goose dare complain, the hen says "hey, what can I say? That's trickle down economics, ain't it great?"
that's my pinko rewrite of the story 
(PS: being the left-wing militant that I am, I'd write an epilogue to the story where the pig, duck and goose all enjoyed a nice meal of BBQ chicken
)
