I Was Just Shot in the Chest

[mfcorey1]

A few moments ago, through no fault of my own, I found myself shot in the chest. Bam. What I believe to be a .38 caliber bullet, right in the ol' torso.

Now, this may sound bad. And I'm not going to lie, it stings a little bit, and the edges of my vision are getting dark and blurry.

But I am not caving in and going to a hospital. The thing is, as horrific and terrible as this is, I know this shooting is what God intended to happen, and I am not one to question His plan. This bullet lodged in my left ventricle is a gift from Him, and to forcibly extract it from its home in my heart would be an affront to His plan.

As I lay here contemplating this new gift, however, it occurs to me that while I feel pretty great about my decision, there are some out there - especially women! - who might not have the foresight or mental capacity to come to this correct conclusion.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/10/24/1149514/-I-Was-Just-Shot-in-the-Chest

[Fresh_Start]

1. this really needs to go the papers where the idiot senator candidate is running for office.

could you also have a friend say he has cancer and that is gods blessing as well?

[HopeHoops]

2. If that wasn't so close to the GOP position, it would be a REALLY sick joke.

[grantcart]

22. true story after Franlin invented the lightning rod their use spread around the world

At lightning speed.

Churches did not use the new invention for several years believing to be a sign of lackof faith to use it.

Approximately 134 bell ringers died in the intrim from being in the steeple during lightning attacks.

[defacto7]

30. Really, really sick, indeed....

But really, really correct logical match for that fundamentalist BS.

[aletier_v]

3. Emergency Rooms are an insult to God. What was Romney thinking?

[bigmonkey]

5. The Western Christian church has tried to eliminate its medical rivals before.

How many European herbalists, mainly women, were killed to maintain the church's medical monopoly in the Middle Ages?

[azurnoir]

10. +1 actually the original charge of 'witchcraft' equated to practicing medicine without a license

right after the Church made a ruling that you had to have a license to practice medicine and women could not get licenses

[magical thyme]

43. oh my your little pix are REEEEEALLY SCARY!!!!!!

But somehow so fitting!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

50. Your comment reminds me of what happened in Pillars of the Earth. (Or was it the follow up novel,

World Without End. It was one of these two Ken Follett historical fictions.)

The church authorities would not allow changes to their superstitious, unfounded techniques, especially when improvements were researched and put forth by a woman. I think of it often as an example of literature in which the conservatives are fighting progressive ideas and are clearly on the wrong side of history.

[npk]

16. We can laugh

But there are actual people who believe any medical treatment is against the will of God. It reminds me of that couple in Colorado who refused to allow their child to go to the hospital for a very treatable disease and the little girl ended up dying.

[Media Lies]

4. LOL! What a wholesome attitude to realize that if you die your murderer becomes an instrument of God

[defacto7]

31. It's a way to have forgiving saving grace for a murderer...

then he will go to heaven and you will both live in harmony, you and your murderer for eternity.

How enlightened!

[CanonRay]

6. If "God" controls everything, why even get up in the morning?

I just cannot understand this thinking. I'm really starting to hate religion as a concept.

[russspeakeasy]

15. That's what all the dead people said just before...they died.

[snooper2]

20. So you can worship the Holy one!

He's got low self esteem so billions of people looking up to him helps quite a bit

[defacto7]

27. been there, done that..

[progressoid]

7. I regret that I have but one Rec to give this post.

[sarchasm]

56. ditto

[Mad_Dem_X]

8. K&R.

[sheshe2]

9. You made me spew my wine!

New keyboard please!

[azurnoir]

11. Great OP n/t

[Robyn66]

12. THis is on par with those people who deny their children chemo

in favor of praying- remember when the majority thought this was INSANE? But I guess now the people who deny their children and families medical treatment are just submitting to God's will so its ok. Pretty soon, expecting doctors to wash their hands before surgery will be a violation of their personal rights.

[Bucky]

13. God's punishing you for not crossing state lines to get cheaper insurance.

[Up2Late]

14. LOL!

I could go very dark with my version, but I won't.

Hint: it involves "God's Plan" to have Hitler murder most of my Grand-father's extended family.

[SemperEadem]

17. insert any calamity and see how just how stupid it sounds

My child was just raped and murdered--it was a gift from God and his intent

my house burned down--it was a gift from God and his intent

a tornado just roared through my town and destroyed my neighborhood--it was a gift from God and his intent

To say that a pregnancy as a result of rape is a gift from God--or that you should make "lemonade" out of the lemon that was the rape happening to you (Sharron Angle said that) is saying that no one who has a calamity fall on their heads should wail and moan and grieve or attempt to seek relief from the calamity because anything that happens to one is a gift from God.

And that shit is sick.

[librechik]

18. wait--are you a man or a woman?

cuz if you are a woman suck it up. If you are a man, call an ambulance.

[AAO]

58. Perfect response, Mr. Mordock/Akin/Romney/Ryan/Republican scum !!

[pintobean]

19. Guns and religion in the same post

Isn't that a violation of the SOP?

[Media Lies]

21. If Romney got shot, I'd be a good Samaritan...

and tie a tourniquet on him to keep blood from flowing to an organ he rarely uses; but wouldn't he suffocate if I cut off circulation to his brain?

[kooljerk666]

45. shit you would need to do that if he had a nose bleed...

or a split lip........

[libdem4life]

23. And we're still reeling from Bush and his bonehead "conversation with some ill-advised god"

Obama has been cleaning it up and even though I don't agree with everything he has or has not done, every time I see him (and Michelle) around children and babies because they are truly closer to God, I feel assured we're at least on the right track. He deserves four more years to finish the job.

[avaistheone1]

24. Stand-your-ground laws are an insult to God. How can we be prepared for God's gift of a

shot in the chest with this kind of law?

[Bernardo de La Paz]

25. People like Mourdock & Akin would have us believe Murder is God's Gift Creating Orphans. nt

[Sheepshank]

26. So is it only a gift it it results in a PG?

because without the PG, one sort of is still left hanging in this limbo of "she was asking for it".

[magical thyme]

44. no, she was asking for it if she got pregnant. God was answering her prayer.

God either gifted her with a rape that resulted in pregnancy, in which case it wasn't a "legitimate" rape because otherwise her body would have shut it down.

Or she didn't get pregnant and therefore either she was asking for it and God found her unworthy of a pregnancy or possibly it was a "legitimate" rape.

But I can understand how hard it is to keep straight the GOP classification of rapes.

Legitimate rape = no pregnancy because body shut it down
Illegitimate rape = she was asking for it and God answered her prayer.

Pregnant = illegitimate rape; she asked and God answered her prayer
Not Pregnant = legitimate rape *or* illegitimate and she asked for it but God found her deservinng of rape but unworthy of pregnancy

[Sheepshank]

59. it would appear my thinking is not convoluted enough to be a Republican......

I guess I'll stick with the straight forward, steady Democrats

[DainBramaged]

28. One of the top ten threads of the year

[yends21012]

29. K&R

[moondust]

32. George Zimmerman hears ya, brother!

God's plan must not be hijacked by mere mortals!

[Victor_c3]

33. I thought I was going to see a picture like this...

[IMG][/IMG]

Sorry, I turn everything into a conversation about the war. I guess it just shows how much it is constantly on my mind.

[Chellee]

46. Thank you for your service.

I sincerely hope that's not you in the picture.

[jalAbi]

34. All doctors should retire

if these idiots get elected.

[amb123]

35. One of the Best F**K YOUs to the GOP I've ever seen!

Bravo!

[Caretha]

36. Check & Fuckin' Mate!

[texshelters]

37. I'm so jealous

that God blessed you just like God blessed Ronald Reagan. Well done!

PTxS

[begin_within]

38. Just relax and enjoy it.

[HereSince1628]

39. I hate that when it happens...just sittin on the porch enjoying the day and OUCH!

Next thing ya know there's a stray piece of 00 shot where my nipple oughta be.

I really hate it when Cheney visits the neighbors.

[Brigid]

57. You win.

Where do I send your DU for the day?

[matt819]

40. Take this a step further

If it's god's will, then maybe whoever shot you shouldn't be considered a criminal. Nor should the god-directed rapist. Or burglar. Really, when you think about it, why should we have laws at all. If it all comes down to god, well, so be it.

[StevieM]

48. Besides, how do we even know that it was a legitimate shooting? (eom)

[BlueStreak]

61. Turns out the Bush meltdown of 2008 was also God's plan

Obama should stop messing with it.

[Chemisse]

62. So if god intended for a baby to be conceived by rape,

then the rapist is just doing god's will. Perhaps rapists are just performing their god-appointed duties!

And here I was thinking they were disgusting, brutal pigs.

[MynameisBlarney]

41. About this bullet...

Is it bean shaped?

[SmileyRose]

42. Barack Obama was elected and is called to a 2nd term. Shame on Willard for questioning God's plan

[GetTheRightVote]

47. Wow, so powerful...

[ChoppinBroccoli]

49. I Used This Article As A Reply To My Anti-Choice Friend

His response to me? "Apples and oranges."

Whatever.

[Deep13]

51. Isn't that the premise of Christian Science? nt

[SunSeeker]

52. Brilliant!

[blkbear]

53. k+r

[davidthegnome]

54. Oh. Wow.

Just glad you weren't shot in the ass. That would suck.

[The Wizard]

55. Marx was right (NT)

[heaven05]

60. yep

this is pretty witty.

[Cherchez la Femme]

63. Tch, women. All they want to do is heal

and try to save your life... like those really early Christians (they one's who didn't actively intend to be martyrs when they grew up) who actually believed in such anti-Old Testament propaganda like "Do unto others as you would have done unto you",
and "For the least of these you have done unto Me".

Suckers!

God's will is God's will, and you better not argue, or worse interfere with it or be damned; and there's lotsa circles of Hell with Vacancy signs on 'em!

Take that sucking, fatal chest wound and give all due Glory to God for His Blessings upon you -- you wouldn't want to be a second (or lower!) class citizen and earn less than 3/4's of men (Lily and her kind can take a sweet suck of the Almighty's sweet fuggin' as... uh we''ll leave it at that. Suffice to say: Sinners, all.) . So give praise, you got off lucky.
Nor would you want to suffer the (natural, as God meant it to be) travails of childbirth. Spinals and anesthetics my sweet ASS!
And He's got lots more planned for the extra-ribs called women.... you don't hear men extra-special cursed, asking the earth to cover them or multiple-cursed if they happen to be lactating at come oh, about Armageddon time;
so hold dear you chest wound, the Lord be praised!
And all Glory to how He shows His Love!

Medical Doctors are on God's smiting list too -- make no mistake!

Why, with all the Protestant sects arguing with each other and aimlessly milling about (Moron-Shmoron, they ought to concentrate where they agree -- Subjugating Sinners-who-should-be-stoned, for one) instead of Kolob and how many wives they should have (Psst -- China is one answer to the concubine shortage) I have 'leaked' Info that God is working to get the Dominionists and Witnesses to meld thus solving Demonic medical intervention, Holy protection for Blessed blastocysts and putting women who don't know their Old-Testament place in their place.

So with your final earthly breath, just before you enter the Celestial/Telestial (depending how many "spiritual wives" you were Sealed to) Kingdom; hum a few bars of Always Look On the Bright Side of Life and give full thanks to God you still weren't born a woman!
PRAISE BE AND GLORY,
GLORY!