Romney Proudly Explains How He's Turned Campaign Around
Romney Proudly Explains How He's Turned Campaign Around
'I'm Lying More,' He Says
October 8, 2012 | ISSUE 48•41 | More News
Romney and his staffers say the candidate’s new lying strategy has already paid significant dividends.
BOSTON—For weeks many Beltway insiders had written off the Romney campaign as dead, saying the candidate had dug himself into too deep a hole with too little time to recover. However, with a month to go before ballots are cast, Romney has pulled even with President Obama, and the former Massachusetts governor credits his rejuvenated campaign to one, singular tactic: lying a lot.
“I’m lying a lot more, and my lies are far more egregious than they’ve ever been,” a smiling Romney told reporters while sitting in the back of his campaign bus, adding that when faced with a choice to either lie or tell the truth, he will more than likely lie. “It’s a strategy that works because when I lie, I’m essentially telling people what they want to hear, and people really like hearing things they want to hear. Even if they sort of know that nothing I’m saying is true.”
“It’s a freeing strategy, really, because I don’t have to worry about facts or being accurate or having any concrete positions of any kind,” Romney added.
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According to Romney, amidst all the lies, there is only one thing that remains true.
“I literally have no clue where I stand on any single issue at this point,” said Romney, adding that when it comes to women’s rights, gay rights, health care, the middle class, the economy, or the U.S. military, all he knows is how to lie about them. “I understand what other people want. And what I’ve learned, especially in the past week, is that in order to be a viable candidate for the White House, that’s all you really need to know.”
Following the interview, Romney told various reporters that, if elected, he would save the newspaper industry.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/romney-proudly-explains-how-hes-turned-campaign-ar,29845/
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