Witless Ape Rides Helicopter

[catbyte]

By KEVIN D. WILLIAMSON
January 20, 2021 3:07 PM

Goodbye to Donald J. Trump, the man who wanted to be Conrad Hilton but turned out to be Paris Hilton.

Well, that sucked.

Memo to MAGA and all its myriad fellow-travelers: Maybe Death of a Salesman as presented by Leni Riefenstahl just wasn’t the show Americans were dying to tune into this season.

And, while we’re at it, maybe turning your party over to Generalissimo Walter Mitty, his hideous scheming spawn, and the studio audience from Hee-Haw was not just absolutely aces as a political strategy.

snip

Donald Trump is, in fact, the first president since Herbert Hoover to lead his party to losing the presidency, the House, and the Senate all in a single term. Along with being the first president to be impeached twice and the first game-show host elected to the office, that’s Trump’s claim to the history books. Well, that and 400,000 dead Americans and the failed coup d’état business.

As for the ratings Trump fears and worships, ask the Third Lady: Melania Trump departs the scene the most unpopular presidential wife in recorded statistical history.

snip

https://www.nationalreview.com/2021/01/witless-ape-rides-helicopter/

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I'm pretty sure this will be the first and last time I post a column from The National Review, but it is pretty hilarious.

[underpants]

1. I was going to post this last night. Thanks.

I saw it on a tweet from that unloveable sack of mashed potatoes in a suit Todd Starnes (aka Turd Stains), oh was he upset.

National Review. Hilarious.

[grumpyduck]

2. I said it yesterday and I'll say it again.

That comment was an insult to apes.

[malaise]

3. Here's the best part

Donald Trump is, in fact, the first president since Herbert Hoover to lead his party to losing the presidency, the House, and the Senate all in a single term.

[lpbk2713]

4. One thing about it ... he's thorough.

I hope American voters never forget him and the party he represented.

[malaise]

9. The panty model is no Miss Congeniality either

As for the ratings Trump fears and worships, ask the Third Lady: Melania Trump departs the scene the most unpopular presidential wife in recorded statistical history.

[PJMcK]

11. Respectfully, there are many best parts in this column

Here are a few choice digs.

As for the ratings Trump fears and worships, ask the Third Lady: Melania Trump departs the scene the most unpopular presidential wife in recorded statistical history.

I love the Third Lady crack!

So you rioted. Real smart move, Cletus.

Five Americans are dead. Barricades have been erected around the Capitol. Thousands of federal troops have been deployed to the streets of Washington. State capitols have been obliged to prepare for siege. Americans blame you for this — and they are not wrong.

Whatever happened to those "brave" defenders of freedom? There weren't any protests anywhere near the inauguration. What happened to the seditionists? (snark)

But my favorite is at the end:

And so, goodbye, Donald J. Trump, the man who wanted to be Conrad Hilton but turned out to be Paris Hilton. Au revoir, Ivanka and Jared, Uday and Qusay — there’s a table for four reserved for you at Dorsia. So long, Melania — it’s still not entirely clear what you got out of this, but I hope it was worth it.

Although I think the comparison to Ms. Hilton is grossly unfair since she's actually made something of her life, Mr. Williamson deservedly spreads the scorn all over the Trumps. That this was published in the National Review is priceless.

[malaise]

12. It really is a great piece

and I did mention the Third lady quote in my response to lpbk2713.

They own him - he's theirs.

[Hugin]

5. 'Witless Ape'... Hmm, what a shame that didn't come to me when I cared.

Now, it's forever more (in the E. A. Poe sense) TONOBN. (the-one-not-to-be-named)

[Arne]

6. They were all HEE Waw people. Of course, I hadn't thought of that.

What an analogy.

[snowybirdie]

7. He was on Morning Joe

today. He also dissed Biden and basically said all politicians are corrupt. Just another media elite who believes he's smarter and wiser than anyone actually doing a job. His opinion is worthless.

[moondust]

8. Fake orangutan!

Has returned to his jungle where he can shit all over everything!

[name not needed]

10. It's a throwback to an article about the campaign announcement: Witless Ape Rides Escalator

Read that one as well. They make for great bookends for this whole shitshow.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10026848322