General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI've posted about my Trump loving sister before. It's been quite some time since we've
had any conversations other than just a few brief words to check on each other during the pandemic. She stopped by the house and I donned a mask to meet her outside. We had our social distancing brief conversation.
Today she said she's thinking about leaving the country and then ranted about how she's not afraid of socialism but she knows we're going to become a Communist country with all the lawlessness.
I asked her if she was referring to the siege on the Capitol Building and the Republicans trying to overturn a free and fair election.
She went ballistic and shouted, "Trump supporters are good people! They would never do such a thing. It was Antifa and BLM. They're taking over our country with their lawlessness and turning us Communist."
By now I've had enough discussions with various Trump supporters since before the 2016 election and plenty of conversations with her to know that nothing I say, no logic I use, no evidence I provide will change her mind.
I turned around and walked away. As I walked into the house I could hear her shouting at the top of her lungs, "That's the problem with this country. No one will listen."
Damn, I'm tired.
cilla4progress
(24,782 posts)I had the same experience early on in drumpf's admin in 2016. It was psychotic. Since then, I do not engage.
You did good - really good - to just walk away.
Breathe! We are with you!
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)This has been really tough.
jmbar2
(4,910 posts)Which country most embodies the type of government and society you wish to live in? What are your top choices?
I'm willing to bet that they will lean socialist.
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)what it was like to live in countries that were more socialist leaning. But she is convinced BLM and Antifa are taking over the country and that we will become a Communist state.
She doesn't seem to understand the difference between peaceful demonstrations and murderous insurrection to overturn the certified results of a free and fair election.
jmbar2
(4,910 posts)If you ask about "what would be the ideal country for you to live in if you had to leave the US", there are no established rightwing talking points to fall back on.
Then you can ask them to describe what makes that country attractive, what an ideal living situation would be to them, etc. I can almost guarantee that they will drive that truck right into socialism.
Don't point it out real fast to them. Encourage them to really dig into it. Share your ideal living situation without getting ideological - dreaming of the perfect getaway. The longer you can extend that kind of mind wandering, the better. Then leave it without making any points.
I've had this conversation often with far right wingers and I've had some tell me that they really enjoyed talking this way - found it unusual.
Another conversation I've found interesting is talking about the challenges of Reconstruction for freed slaves.
"Geez. Imagine what it was like to be a slave on a plantation, with no education, no assets and a family to feed. Suddenly one day, they tell you that you are "free". What would you do? Where would you go? How could you get started? Get them to imagine with you, with no ideological tones. Just brainstorming.
Ask them how they would start over with absolutely nothing, and no help. Might drive them to Wikipedia to learn more about it.
Bernardo de La Paz
(49,047 posts)Oh, you want a strong man. How about Turkmenistan?
Oh, you want a Western culture nation with a strong man. How about Hungary?
Oh, you want Western, strong man, English Speaking. Hmm, getting a bit limited. What do you suggest?
Oh, you are out of countries. Well, how about a boat? Live in the middle of the ocean.
Ocean not for you? Antarctica?
jmbar2
(4,910 posts)Ya gotta keep the conversation flowing, without any hint of sarcasm, which will shut the exploration down.
But I like the idea of Hungary. Western country, with a strongman leader? Dig down into that. Later, they will probably look it up online and discover some of the realities of living in a corrupt strongman culture.
Bernardo de La Paz
(49,047 posts)Bernardo de La Paz
(49,047 posts)Unless they are rich and globetrotting.
Keep setting constraints from the things they like.
No public healthcare? That rules a lot of countries out.
No abortions? Okay even Ireland and Argentina are ruling themselves out.
No taxes? Hmm, Saudi Arabia, if you can get citizenship.
Then tell them "You survived Obama, didn't you?" ... "Well, yeah" ... "You can survive Biden."
Ask them if they did well during Obama, bought a house, got better jobs, new pickup trucks, etc. Probably they'll say yes, we worked hard. Tell them, work hard and you'll do just as well under Biden.
Especially since there's no other country you can do better in.
jmbar2
(4,910 posts)Suddenly, they realize that it's not so black and white. Every option has tradeoffs. There is no viable option that operates the way they think America should run.
That opens the door for a lot deeper dialogue that goes beyond the slogans they have learned. It's better to dialogue with them than to write them off as hopeless.
Good luck.
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)Thank you.
dawg day
(7,947 posts)Let's see... can't be socialist.
Must love Trump.
Hmm... and it's not like anyone can move anywhere these days.
I wonder if she's going to watch to see all the arrests and if she'll ever wonder why the "BLM rioters" are all middle-aged white men wearing Trump hats.
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)It's so damn sad.
SharonAnn
(13,779 posts)NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)SWBTATTReg
(22,174 posts)would even take her? Ha ha heh...I think you're smart to not deal w/ her. Not worth it. Not worth the energy listening to such drivel.
Best wishes to you and yours.
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)at this point.
Blue_true
(31,261 posts)If you asked them to name a country that they would go to, they would likely say New Zealand, or maybe Australia. They dont have a clue.
I wish that we could exchange each one of those fools for a non-fascist person that is literally dying to move here. We would certainly be better off.
Atticus
(15,124 posts)NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)I'm sure glad I found DU.
JHB
(37,163 posts)If she thinks a Biden administration will turn the country "Communist", she should know that by that standard all the other English-speaking countries are "Communist."
Is she going to go to a non-English-speaking country? Again, which one, because by her standard most of them are "Communist."
Or maybe ask her about the dragons in that fantasy world of hers. Are they cool?
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)Her church preaches that Trump's been sent by God to save the world and she would never dare question that.
Mary Mac
(323 posts)Mariana
(14,861 posts)but thousands of Christian churches all over the country are preaching it.
42bambi
(1,753 posts)tread on me flags. Sorry about you sister - brainwashed people don't know they're brainwashed; similar to stupid people, they just don't know.
Timewas
(2,196 posts)Or a cult , same difference. If you could talk to them and point that out they will just come back with "fake news",they use the same as religious people, "God works in mysterious ways" and that is the end of the discussion.If they were willing to talk sense they would already have decided they were wrong
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)Dejectedly, "And the swamp still won't listen."
They are so delusional, must be something they are used to.
I told this one, "As I have repeatedly stated to you, we cannot talk politics. I'm speaking verifiable facts & you are talking nonsensense." Bovine stare.
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)It's mind boggling.
MustLoveBeagles
(11,641 posts)There's no reasoning with people like that. You were wise to walk away.
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)I made the right choice but it's still so sad.
MustLoveBeagles
(11,641 posts)chia
(2,244 posts)You have my sympathies.
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)It's a rocky road, isn't it?
chia
(2,244 posts)And I'm tired too - so I find myself withdrawing more and more.
Cha
(297,774 posts)NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)One of the hardest lessons for me in all this was to realize that no matter how much I love and care about a person, their mind is their own and not mine to change.
Cha
(297,774 posts)to learn. All of my family are Dems.. but I had a friend of 27 years who turned out to be in the trump cult & I want nothing to do with him anymore. That's on him.
If he ever wants to wake up and Repudiate that shit & apologize.
then I will listen. what are the odds!
gratuitous
(82,849 posts)When? Give me an over/under date, Sis. By March 1? June 1? Name the date, I'll write it down, and you initial it. Very good. Now, how much do you want to lose on that proposition? Ten bucks, or you want to make it a bet fit for grown ups, say a C-note? I've seen where your mouth is, I want to see some money.
SCantiGOP
(13,874 posts)He plans to seize all the means of production. All the industry, banks, farms, retail shops, everything. All private assets will be taken, and of course only Party officials will hold political power.
You must have missed that on the news with everything else going on.
Tech
(1,773 posts)NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)something changes.
Mr.Bill
(24,334 posts)So, let me get this straight, The left disguised themselves as the right so they could storm that Capitol to overturn an election they just won.
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)It's just all too crazy.
Lucinda
(31,170 posts)Point out they posted all about their participation on their own - obviously Trump - supporting media accounts. And it was often them on videotape...
coti
(4,612 posts)immediately before, where they were, coincidentally, instructed to go get wild at the Capitol.
Rustyeye77
(2,736 posts)Go visit her.
Tell her we mean to much to each other.
Lets agree not to discuss politics
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)In fact, that's how things have gone for the last 4 years. Today when she came over she started in and I had to walk away from the rant. I just don't have the energy for it any longer. I cannot listen to someone defending the liar in the WH and blaming others for what he and his supporters and enablers have done.
Rustyeye77
(2,736 posts)Say lets work this out...how about lunch
Obviously shes looking for a fight...dont give her one.
Lucinda
(31,170 posts)trueblue2007
(17,240 posts)i am not talking to my 2 eldest nephews who are in their 3arly 4o's. my youngest nephew is like me, a trump hater. my trump loving niece are barely speaking. my great niece called TRUMP A MONSTER, SO THE YOUNGER branch of the family may be okay
my bro in law is a huge idiot. i can't stand him
TNNurse
(6,929 posts)I do have a couple of cousins with whom I grew up, that I am just not talking to. Mostly because I do not want to know.
iluvtennis
(19,880 posts)birdographer
(1,347 posts)because I am so interested in the psychology of it. The overwhelming advice is to not engage. You can't change their minds and it just angers them. You might get her back some day when he is gone and hopefully in prison and absent from the canvas of daily life. The thinking is that removing the source of the idolatry is one route to reducing the delusions. But for now, as painful as it is, let it go.
NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)Thank you.
Bernardo de La Paz
(49,047 posts)Isolate them.
Let them have fewer and fewer people to talk to, as the sane people abandon them and their social media one by one.
Let them live in the fact-void alternative universe and be constantly surprised and disappointed by events and ultimately bewildered until they come crawling and ask "How does this world work? Nothing I do works anymore." Then you can gently start explaining things.
But basically they have to say Biden is President because he won a fair election and the Steal was a lie.
At some point.
Or look like they might say it.
Because none of the lies they've been fed and regurgitate work anymore.
When they get to the point that even their alternative reality fails them, they're primed to leave the cult.
Aussie105
(5,444 posts)to the point of irrational explosions is normal when your carefully constructed - yet internally contradictory - value system is being challenged by current facts or words.
It just adds denying those facts and words to the emotional burden of sorting the loose wires inside their heads, so don't even bother.
Just smile, and quietly say 'Sure Karen, whatever! Nice day today! Did you know peanuts grow underground but almonds grow on trees? Both are nuts, go figure!'
(Do not make eye contact. Do not engage the mad person.)
MyOwnPeace
(16,940 posts)From the sounds of what she's looking for - it might be a really neat place to visit once in a while - and there will be no arguments about where she is!
The worse that can happen is she'll tell you how bad she feels for you still living behind the Commie Curtain!
Joinfortmill
(14,477 posts)Nitram
(22,900 posts)and convicted, they may start to see the light.
keithbvadu2
(36,949 posts)Russian bots pretending to be Americans leaving America due to Biden
Leaving America to go to Alaska?
dreamland
(964 posts)She will get woke by being in another country. She may learn what real socialism is or even come to realize what our system of government provides.
TigressDem
(5,125 posts)He says "The DEMs don't pay attention to 'BOTH SIDES' and they can't 'FAKE' X, Y or Z" I look at the crap he puts up (barely it makes me sick to hear it) and I can see right away how many ways it can be faked.
He rails on and I just walk away and he's like, "SEE YOU WON'T LISTEN"
He's right. Sane people shut off the crazy and walk away.
WHEN YOU KEEP LISTENING TO THAT CRAP you become delusional. How many million people have been infected with this insanity?
Permanut
(5,654 posts)I hope she gets out of it someday.